always on Swims mind

[tinytom]

Swim has recently became aware that drugs occupy his thoughts for 99% of his time. he keeps himself awake many nights each week thinking about drug combos/synths/extractions and of course the memories.

swim only uses reacreational drugs once a month for about 36 hours. for the rest of the time he finds himself thinking about drugs.

he has other hobbies such as weight training were he spends up to 2 hours training each day. he also loves music.

swim just want to see if there are other people out there like him?

is is starting to worry him a little as in his opinion drugs have to be used very responsibly and in moderation or the monkey can easily become destroyed.



any one else out there??

[tryptamaster]

Swim is EXAXCTLY how you said you feel. Swim uses drugs far more often though, mainly marijuana which he smoeks everyday. Swim also likes to weight train but finds it more interesting to let his mind drift away thinking abut drugs than abut weights. Swim does not see it as a problem because he considers drugs his hobby and he thinks most people devote most of tier thoughts to thier hobby. Now many would argue that swims hobby' is an addiction but swim still feels he is ok with his durg use.

[lostmente]

swim doesn't feel satisfied unless there is something available, doesn't really matter that he doesn't do anything just as long as the options are there

[humdroid]

SWIM can relate
99.999999999% of the time.

[tryptamaster]

Swim doesnt see this as a problem because he is happy to think about drugs, when swim see "doctors" they say this is an addiction and is unheathly. But many people will obsess over something they like, like sports or religen. Swim has met many jesus freaks and is sure jesus is on thier mind 99 percvent of the time but i guess thats "healthy" or athletes that trian 24/7 for thier sport which thier live revolves around. Once again"healthy". so swim thinks drugs are jsut his thing so its ok to think about them alot.

[lostmente]

with every addiction, healthy for a select minority. esp drugs

[tryptamaster]

yea i agree, drugs can be a hobb as long as they dont end up ruining other aspects of your life.

[lostmente]

thats very true, but you can alter your definition of what your life is to accommodate to what was considered ruining it. Any goal has sacrifice, its a simplistic way to achieve thing. Swim lost faith in humankind to get closer to his goal

[podge]

Swim used to be like this. But he found after enough research and first hand experience he realized it wasnt so much the actual use of drugs which was important anymore as he had achieved much of what he wanted from drug use, it was more the mystery,culture,history and related topics associated with drug use and personal development which fascinated him the most. He has since realized where his true interests lie, now drugs occupy a place in his mind but he now has many other area's of interest which occupy more of his inner thoughts.

[Wierd Logic]

Swim used to have this, but it passes with time. When Swim is about to try something new or enter a new drug-related business venture it can start again, though.
Something swim finds is that with his drug-friends they mainly just talk about drugs and not much else.

[tinytom]

swim is glad he is not alone.

he will probally continue to think about drugs and brewing them up.

it was more the mystery,culture,history and related topics associated with drug use and personal development which fascinated him the most

swim loves this the most and the social aspect of taking drugs far out weighs the actual high for swim.

he loves his hobby very much and sometimes finds it hard to ration his drug use so he can still function the way he want to.

@wierd logic. i also get this whenever any of swim and his frioends meet the topic of conversation is nearly always drugs.

swim supposes the he is still young and if he is careful and sensible he see this causing him no harm.

[lostmente]

swim recalls many a music festival with performers proclaiming everyone was on drugs. The audience loved it...kind of like football fever swim guesses, but the pupil dilation is mandatory

[Spare Chaynge]

At what age did this pass for yall?

[sirdrugalot]

swim has been abusing drugs from the age of 11 every thing from solvents to speed, trips, benzos, alcohol, opiates ect. what ever he could get his hands on, swim would eat cat shit if he thought it alter his mind. for years he thought about nothing but drugs and he always thought to him self people dont know what there missing out on. only in recent years when swims family started to disown him and people he use to know would cross the other side of the street so as not to be seen talking to him (swim lives in a small town with a lot of narrow minded people). the only people who wanted any thing to do with swim were other drug abusers. swim never had any hobbies growing up in my town all we had when we were growing up to do was football, drink and drugs (swim chose the later two) its all he could think of day and night. swim finds when he is not drinking and taking drugs hobbies and staying away from people who take drugs help. some times swim thinks fuck it and could care less if niggling thoughts eating away at the back of mind never go away, thats about the time when swim gos back on em. but the longer you stay away from drugs and people who take em the lesser they come. sorry about the long winded rant but to answer your question spare chaynge they might never go away but the more you abuse them and the longer you abuse them the more the chances are they will not go away. perhaps im wrong or it might just be me and my frame of mind every ones different i know but they dont just go away its been 16 years now and there on swims mind more than ever.

[fiveleggedrat]

Welcome to Swim's life.

Swim been using for almost 3 years now. He waited till he was 17 for alcohol and tobacco, and later DXM and BZP. He started using more at 18. ALL types of pills, opioids, benzos, amphetamines, shrooms, salvia, nitrous, pot, anything he could get. No needle used ever though. LOTS of cocaine, he sold it to pay the bills, but he never really liked it.

Swim has a very non addictive personality he thinks. He is obsessed with drugs, but not one specific drug. Never been addicted any way at all.

Swim smokes daily but decided last week to cut back to make it better.

Always play it safe with drugs. Make sure to use rarely as possibly.

Swim considering using a needle for the first time seriously ever though lately.

Anyway, all Swim really talks about is drugs. All day. He reads drug related books, medical journals, pharmaceutical references, online forums, talks to drug users/dealers, listens to drug related music, wears clothing showing his love of drugs, all that. Swim thinks it might pass one day though. But right now, his life IS drugs. He lost a lot of friends who hate drugs. When people learned swim was using DXM, some stopped talking to him. Pot, some more stopped talking to him. Selling cocaine, even more. Using drugs related to meth, more. Same thing with snorting heroin.

Thank god someone he knew really became a part of his life. She is his rock now, and is totally accepting of his use, as long as it's safe. She trusts him. She just does not want to become an addict. But she will talk about it all with him. They came together because she was his ex girlfriend's best friend. Shes also a pothead.

His ex left him mostly because of his drug stuff.

[cra$h]

It depends on who swim's with. With (most) of swim's friends, it's all about mind expansion, philosophical views, ways to reform the system, all relating to drugs, and of course, how they're going to get fucked up that night. But swim tries to stay on both sides of the road, with non drug users, and finds that the conversations are more light, humorous, and normally just shooting the shit. But when swim's alone, it's all about the drugs, and what new experiences can be learned, wether it's lsd, meth, or even ether, an experience is an experience, and once does count.

[nate81]

I am like this as well. I obsess over the research, the experience reports, extraction methods, etc. Lately I have been easing up on it because it did get to the point where it was affecting my daily life. And I find that as I've aged a bit (still only 26 though) I find that I learn fewer new things from plant teachers. Eventually, as with all things, there is a point of diminishing return.

[chaton]

Hm, my kitten is also obsessed by reading about drugs. Taking them is another cup of tea. The kitten reads about 90 % of all the time she stays in the I-Net about drugs (she is half of the day in the I-Net), what they do, what dangers there are, extraction, and so on. But she takes them only a few times the month except tobacco. The kitten started with all that thing when she was 19, except alcohol, which she took earlier. First tobacco, then DXM, and now also stuff. her friend also like drugs, but as she does, they don't take them too often, because of the addiction. And she and his friends also try to change the drugs, as for new experience and against the tolerance.

[cubenisdreaming27]

swim smokes marijuana every day but when he is not on anything he just thinks about drugs, music, and philosophy

[th3tawav3]

Originally Posted by tinytom

Swim has recently became aware that drugs occupy his thoughts for 99% of his time. he keeps himself awake many nights each week thinking about drug combos/synths/extractions and of course the memories.

swim only uses reacreational drugs once a month for about 36 hours. for the rest of the time he finds himself thinking about drugs.

he has other hobbies such as weight training were he spends up to 2 hours training each day. he also loves music.

swim just want to see if there are other people out there like him?

is is starting to worry him a little as in his opinion drugs have to be used very responsibly and in moderation or the monkey can easily become destroyed.



any one else out there??

The worry that you are experiencing is doubt based on the seemingly ubiquitous ideology that drugs are bad. plain and simple. DRUGS ARE JUST BAD AND YOU WILL BECOME ADDICTED EVENTUALLY SIMPLY BECAUSE SOBRIETY IS JUST NOT AS FUN AS DRUGS!

this notion is so drenched with fear and closed-mindedness it isn't even funny. tinytom, realize that you should embrace healthy drug use for yourself and eliminate / educate those around you. let your passion for altering your consciousness fuel a desire to educate ignorant people. they are everywhere, trust me. people who don't accept you simply because of your drug use are ignorant, scared, insecure, and lost in their own lives (or atleast they are under the illusion that they are in control), not to mention they are fundamentally unaware of facts involving drug use.

embrace who you are and what you enjoy. pity those who are too subconsciously afraid of getting to know the REAL you, because they will die a less complete person for not giving you a chance.

Reputation Comments on this post:

Good post.

[G_nome]

Good post th3tawav3.

SWIM is the same, he spends alot of time reading about drugs. Not just their effects, and nor is SWIM just reading about drugs looking for new things to try. He just has an interest in drugs and always has had since about the age of 14. SWIM likes to know as much as he can before trying a drug.

SWIM also likes to try and "educate" folk. Especially people that are quick to judge someone and call them a junky whilst sipping away on a nice glass of red.
SWIM just hates the way that drugs, such as heroin and all opiates really, are so demonised in this country. Where as if you don't drink you're kinda seen as odd. In SWIM's opinion alcohol is a much nastier drug than opiates, granted opiates are way much more addictive but it's all about proportion. SWIM has been doing alright keeping his poppy tea usage just to the weekends, and is a former heroin addict. Why should SWIM be stigmatised and potentially get a nice wee visit from the police and jailed or fined or whatnot just for something he enjoys? But not just enjoys, he also finds that poppy tea helps him with the anxiety and depression he's had for many years. The tea helps bring him out his shell a bit and also lifts his mood, making him feel much more like himself.
SWIM's not hurting anyone or stealing or commiting any crimes, which ye can't say about the many people getting drunk at the weekends or whenever. Surely it's up to SWIM what he decides to put in HIS body?

SWIM just wishes that the many governments across the world would wise up about drugs and not be so blinkered. In SWIM's opinion he reckons all drugs should be legal, or at least tolerated, but with control and a good support system behind it for people who may start to get a problem with drugs.
Also, with them being legal i think less teenagers would want to do drugs, maybe. Alot of teenagers want to do drugs in the first place because they are illegal, like a form of rebelling or something. And of course if drugs were legal they'd only be available to adults and it'd be a lot harder, SWIM would hope, for kids to get their hands on them in the first place.

Anyway, SWIM digresses, he's had a little tea and he always seems to chat for miles when he's had some.

So tinytom, you're not alone.

[humdroid]

Y is ocd Obsessive Compulsive Drugs.
Y is actually wondering if he is more obsessed with mood altering, lifestyle improvement, and the drooooooogs as a vehicle.
Y has saved himself many a drugs fail, by reading harm reduction literature, and not from that Frank bloke in the UK.