Depression / realisation?

[readyforthefloor]

My friend has recently noticed how all humans are so selfish when it didnt seem so obvious before and since noticing this their views on all of their friends have gone downhill.
As well as this her best friend has got in to drugs a lot more and isnt the same person as before. Another realisation came...it was how alone each and every person is in the world and how you do have to be your own best friend.
After all of this she can't stop crying whenever she thinks.
She's sick of her life, all of its activities are college and going out and taking drugs, she needs to find a hobby or a boyfriend, being lonely is horrible.
Has any body else had these feelings?//what did they do?

[sylenth]

it's all part of the realisation. but if she does'nrt have a boyfriend or someone it could lead to things like suicide. not to sound negative but i've seen it happen. so if someone cares enough as you seem to do, the best advice is to be there & show her the things that are creating the wrong impressions in her mind are not all true. look for the ways to do that it is all around us.

if sshes enjoying the drug scene alot & the drugs it is gonna be difficult to get her to ease off, which is where alot of the thoughts & problems come from. go seek other highs, there are alot of other cool activities.

as i've mentioned in a thread for a swimmer who lost a friend from a drug over dose. sweys friend must realise every one is 'selfish' but they just want to have fun & are happy. smurf has this feeling too & no friends cos of this. that's why smurf is on the forum so much.

but smurf does'nt battle out there in the real world cos it's a understanding that one has to understand & some need guidance to this.

[kaczynski]

SWIM has been going through stages like this off and on throughout high school and as he goes through college too. The whole college lifestyle can end up feeling pretty empty and I think alot of people end up lonely and unsatisfied. SWIM wishes he had a solid answer...but in SWIMs situation he has just learned to be his own best friend. Everyone else has come and gone. He has had a steady girlfriend in his life for several years now, but if he didnt have her he would be alone in the world. Even his "friends" just fade into the woodwork most of the time.

[RaverHippie]

Being one's only friend is the worst. Do whatever it takes to find a like mind and it will help in unfathomable ways. I used to think there would never be anyone like me and that I'd be alone forever. That was a dark and depressing time and I'd rather not go back into such a state.

[readyforthefloor]

Thanks for replies, it's just sad because her best friend is so much in to drugs she's now different...she has many friends but doesnt feel close.
She has a pet bird and i guess they'll have to be best friends now hahaha.
She definatly knows that drugs are not the answer in this situation though.

[sylenth]

well people i know with these feelings have commited suicide to answer your question. hopefully her pet bird works.

[readyforthefloor]

I'm sure these feelings will go, she loves life and would never take her life.
She just needs something exciting to happen and to meet a new bestfriend.
She knows life has its ups and downs.

[sylenth]

[quote=readyforthefloor;450114]
After all of this she can't stop crying whenever she thinks.
She's sick of her life.

what is this thread about? cos this is what was posted initially... now she is loving her life... ? it is the some for all section but this was odd. lol. hopefully ur friend sorts herself out. sounds like a floater. up & down is the name of the game.

[readyforthefloor]

No, she has ups and downs of this.
She is sick of her life often.
Even when she feels terrible she'd never end it.
What is she supposed to do when one day she feels fine and the next terrible all the time.
Shes not even sure what shes talking about/must stop now!!

[sknkv2]

The ups and downs are all part of the beauty of life. Sometimes we forget how lucky we actually are to be able to have the human experience - to be able to feel complex emotions from depression to euphoria, to be able to think rationally like no creature before us, to be able to understand the workings of the world, to be able to be sitting on our computer right now having conversations over a computer screen to anywhere in the world. Each and every one of us is just one of a few billion like us that have ever existed. In the entire universe, we are the only things lucky enough to be on the planet that is able to sustain life. Of these things, we are the only one's that are humans. Seriously, just being alive and experiencing life is something to be treasured in itself.

Sure, everyone gets the down moments. Important thing is to just put it in perspective and hopefully learn from it. It's part of life and is just as important as the good times, as we don't appreciate the good without having appreciated the bad.

[Nature Boy]

I suppose feelings like this hit many people as they enter young adulthood. The sense of playfulness seems lost and the world becomes very serious. It seems harder than ever to make new friends and to seek out new experiences. Don't worry so much about it. Feelings such as these are very common and they always pass. It's an uncertain time but some of the best things in life happen when you least expect them. Not working or not being in an intimate relationship brings about a sense of worthlessness but people who have both feel equally upset for different reasons at various stages. You're only 18. You literally have your entire life ahead of you. Doubts are normal but there's no point dwelling on them.

[sylenth]

some times the wheels turn slowly for smurf lol. but smurf is sick at the moment. smurf realised who the friend is. sorry...

the above posts said life is up & down. even at smurfs age which should be fairly stable now, smurf has up & down mixed emotions from day to day. at least ur friend has got new like minded friends here who know what ur friend is going through & can help.

Reputation Comments on this post:

It happens

[readyforthefloor]

Yeah it all makes sense.
Being naive seems like a blessing haha.
thanks guys

[EsotericEccentric]

Back in SWAI's teen years he realized that everyone was selfish, he thought long and hard about it, and realized that the reason we are all selfish, is because in the end we all have radically diverse motives and endeavors. Each one of us has something different that pleases us, the reason SWAI used to be sad was because he realized that he was trying to mimic everyone else's dreams, he realized that people didn't care too much about him, it soon became evident that they were annoyed that he a people pleaser and a kiss ass with low self-confidence. SWAI realized he needed to get to know himself better, he needed to dig deeper into his own shell and find answers for himself, and he did. Later SWAI realized that being selfish isn't a bad thing, society and humanity just like lacing negativity to words and behavior because they are not used to them, i.e. drugs, pain, happy, sad etc. It's hard to do, but everyone has to realize that times of "sadness"(negative connotation) are no different than times of "happiness"(positive connotation). Once you start realizing that you've been wired by society and yourself to start thinking "bad" things are negative and feel negative, and
"good" things are positive and feel positive, you will realize that they both play very interdependent roles, and without them, life wouldn't be such a dynamic intricacy. The next time you step into a shower, turn it all the way on cold, as the "cold" water, (supposedly negative feeling), splashes on your body, ask yourself "is this feeling really all that 'bad' or have I just believed it to be so?" It takes a great deal of effort to rewire yourself to believe that there are actually "No ordinary moments", this kind of enlightened thought has been passed down from the ancient Sages for years. I feel like I've overdone it, yet I purposely exercise my logorrhea in chance that I will gain a break-through for myself.

[nate81]

since my teen years I've had depression experiences several times. Having much the same thoughts as mentioned. For me, when I have those thoughts I have found that a certain idea can "anchor" me to better times. When I'm really down, I think how lame life is and how silly people act and how no matter how much I accomplish or who I know or what I do, five to fifty years after I'm dead no one will recognize my name. But I'm reminded that this is true for everyone. Even the most famous names in history will eventually disappear.

It's a depressing thought at first. Until I realize that in the grand scheme of things, the only thing that will mean anything is whether or not I've actually tried. The loneliness of all people is the real reason to celebrate each other. So for me, while I am feeling bad and lonely I remind myself that millions and probably billions are feeling similarly and if I can just get out there and connect with someone even for a moment, then I feel I have beaten the cruelty of the system.

[humdroid]

Originally Posted by readyforthefloor

My friend has recently noticed how all humans are so selfish when it didnt seem so obvious before and since noticing this their views on all of their friends have gone downhill.
As well as this her best friend has got in to drugs a lot more and isnt the same person as before. Another realisation came...it was how alone each and every person is in the world and how you do have to be your own best friend.
After all of this she can't stop crying whenever she thinks.
She's sick of her life, all of its activities are college and going out and taking drugs, she needs to find a hobby or a boyfriend, being lonely is horrible.
Has any body else had these feelings?//what did they do?

SWIM can relate.
There's not alot else we can do, about others, and how they think.
One useful thing (I may be corrected here, that's ok) but there is a law of the universe, which states that whatever bad there is, be it, bad feeling, bad motives in others, bad vibes of whatever type, there is its good counterpart.
Im no scientist or chinese philosopher, but the yin-yang symbol says it all.
Being aware of the mere fact that each bad thing has its good counterpart, seems to open us up to positive possibilities as time passes.

SWIM never came into recreational drugs socially, and it was middle age before they even tried them.
Apart from the non beneficial drugs, SWIM used the others (the more colourful and insightful ones) as medicine.
SWIM gained lots of insights, and recovered lots of hidden essences of SWIM, which had been long forgotten, in favour of conformity.
SWIM remembered their fondness for colours and patterns and discovered an intuitive geometrical connection with inner and outer worlds.

In other words, SWIM found themselves.
Before the drugs, SWIM had breakdowns, which, while not psychotic in nature, pushed SWIM to make positive changes in their lives.
SWIM still has a childhood thing which they use for things which make SWIM feel bad. Things like selfish people, evil deeds, and self harm etc. SWIM makes a wish for whatever is hurting them to improve. SWIM finds that the wish comes true, only if the motive behind the wish is sincere.

SWIM has to be careful what they ask for though, because if it is something SWIM wants but dosen't need, the manifestation and its consequences may not be quite what SWIM intended.

SWIM hopes this post is of lasting benefit