Addiction - SWIM has to do this

[msmogadon]

SWIMs life has been in the gutter for a few weeks now. SWIM has basically reached the end of the road, has exhusted every avenue of getting money and has completely messed her poor body up to the point of physical and mental breakdown.
SWIM has not been able to work and her relationship is on the verge of being over. SWIM was also due to graduate in 6 weeks
Anyway SWIM really really has to come off this stuff really really soon. SWIM waited 2 weeks to see the only Doc in her practice who is willing to deal with drug addicts and this morning SWIM recieved a telephone call to say he is now off sick for another week. So SWIM only has 22 Lofexidine tablets and can only get something shit like Co-Codamol. SWIM has some Valium coming but they won't be here till around Wed or Thurs.
SWIM has done this before at home by herself for 15 days but got so bored waiting for motivation to return SWIM used again. SWIM thinks she was smoking too much hash. This time SWIM can't even afford hash.
What SWIM really needs is a bit of support to get through this as not one soul knows that SWIM is doing this. The stress is just getting too much for SWIM. There is always someone wondering where she is or looking for money from her. SWIM honestly wishes to OD but has not succeeded so far. SWIM is very scared about what is going to happen next.

msmogadon added 1 Minutes and 52 Seconds later...

sorry wrong forum please move I would be so grateful

[Solinari]

Lofexidine should really only be taken with a doctors supervision because it is originally blood pressure medication and the blood pressure would be monitored every day. The other thing with lofexidine is it's horrible, really horrible and only reduces the withdrawal symptoms and doesn't get rid of them. There is also a way to use them properly, when i was an outpatient they gave me something like 2, 4, 6, 8, 6, 4, 2, that is just an idea of what they did, it's not exactly how it worked and it was ages ago so i can't recall exactly. My own doctor couldn't even prescribe it and i had to go miles away to get it each cold winter day for 2 weeks, it was a fucking nightmare and i would not do it again. The only upside was it did make me sleep a lot, but only for the first couple of days and it wasn't most of the day.

If things are really that bad then i suggest getting an emergency appointment at the surgery, don't go into detail just say an emergency appointment is required, it is none of the receptionists business what the problem is. Don't be rude, just say you feel ill.

[Ganja2k8]

swim thinks you should decrease your dose of kit till you steadily get yourself of it.

right now if swiy owes money out i wouldn't worry about it too much right now, concentrate on getting your life back together first seen as theres no point sitting worrying about how your going to pay people when you have no money. You cant give what you dont got.

Im sorry this has happend, ive seen many people around me turning into crack and kit addicts and its not a nice site. They end up commiting suicide or on that fuckin stupid methadone programme which just encourages people to stay on the drug.

I think if you're serious about staying off herion then you shouldnt go on the methadone programme or youll end up just waking up everyday, walking to Loyds Pharmacy for your methadone sitting about and living in shit till the brew money comes in which would probably get spent mostly on heroin anyway seeing as you'll still be addicted cause the stupid goverment would rather just drug you up to keep you quite than get you any real help.

In the end the only person that can stop is you and you alone. Other people can only help you so much.

Good Luck

Reputation Comments on this post:

Thanks for the honest strong encouragement to do it oneself and not to get hooked on the system's dole. Sad that few ta...

[msmogadon]

Thanks for SWIYs replies.
First SWIM will say about the Lofexidine. SWIMs own doctor has prescribed it for SWIM twice now, he's the only one that will even take SWIM on. All the rest just say they will refer SWIM to substance misuse services. SWIM finds the Lofexidine very good for reducing the sweat which SWIM suffers from very very badly. It helps SWIM to fall asleep for 20min periods every hour which is better than nothing. It makes SWIM weak however but SWIM would probably be weak anyway judging from her other detox with Subutex.
Because SWIM has been shooting the dodgy gear thats been going around. SWIM will show the other doctor tomorrow the state of her arms and also will tell doctor how SWIM has been thinking alot about ODing and hopefully he might just help. SWIM wishes so much she could just go on a meth script but SWIMs life is never straight forward and is unable to do so because SWIM knows a lot of people at the substance misuse service through work.
SWIM has been reducing her intake for a while not through choice. The anxiety has been too much for SWIM though and she just can't handle the psychological side of it. It all just seems like too much hassle for SWIM and she wishes she could find the motivation to do what needs to be done. SWIM thinks she may be depressed as this is the worst SWIMs ever felt in her 4 years of using. SWIM has so much that she could do this for but none of it seems to matter anymore.