What is kind of weird in SWIM
's case is that when she is on the verge of shear exhaustion
, an amphetamine
pill will not keep her awake, but rather she will go right to sleep for a full 8 hours, waking up as someone stated earlier with a dull headachey feeling and a weird bodily feeling. It is almost impossible for her to cheat her body of sleep with stimulants
. If she goes without sleep, they just plain don't work.
On the other hand... swim can be totally exhausted and take a benzodiazepine
and instead of going to sleep, the benzodiazepine will turn the "exhausted" feelign into a tranquil relaxxed feeling and she will stay awake for hours, when if she'd have taken the amphetamine pill she'd either feel like shit or go right to sleep.
These paradoxical rxns seem to be most influenced by the overall nutrition and sleep during the recent week. Regular sleep patterns along with an attempt at regular meals and the amphetamines or methylphenidate
work like they should. 10mg amphetamine will make SWIM very focused, while 20mg will not have the same effect. It will provide a physical edginess without any sort of mental effects at all. Regardless, when SWIM is very tired, benzos
will almost always turn "exhaustion" into "tranquil relaxed feeling".
are the same way. They make SWIM feel like you would think an amphetamine should. Lots of energy, very outgoing, not at all sleepy. SWIM "used" to be able to stay up on opiates, but now due to tolerance to regular maintanence doses, she is not able to get this effect.
Also, it is interesting to note that SWIM has never been into "speed" of any sort... never got into coke
or anythign speedy in nature. The first time SWIM tried amphetamines, about 10 years ago, a friend gave her a 30mg amphetamine pill. She snorted 1/2 of it and immediately felt "dopey" or "stoned"... sort of like she had smoked a joint or something. While before that, anytime she had snorted methylphenidate, it had always acted in the same manner as cocaine
. As stated above, she was never really into speedy drugs
so her experience with these substances was limited.
Years and years passed and SWIM stopped abusing drugs and began taking only prescribed medication, she finally was treated for ADD which had been diagnosed 20 years prior. She has since learned that "less is more."