Effects - SWIM feels disconnected from boyfriend when alone on cocaine. New feeling/confused.

[Charolastra]

SWIM has used cocaine 3 times. The first time was about a week ago (half a gram to herself), she did not get a bad comedown or any obvious side effects. Yesterday she did half a gram (gram in total) with her boyfriend and noticed that she was feeling a little distant and disconnected around him. She felt emotionless and very unwelcome. He felt the same. They felt like they were on completely different levels and did not understand each others feelings. Pretty hard to explain.

Today SWIM did over half a gram of cocaine at a friends house with her boyfriend. There were many people around and she was very social and happy. SWIM decided to take one hit from a bong and left with her boyfriend. 5 minutes into being alone with him she started to feel like she did last time. Except this time swim was very nervous, heard voices, felt the need to fix everything (or make it perfect), and felt like little bugs were crawling on her. She knew she was just sketching out. They came home and decided to sit outside. Everything just went downhill from there and swim felt like her boyfriend was a complete stranger. She felt blank and depressed.

It is the worst feeling swim has every experienced. She has noticed that she only feels like this when she is alone with her boyfriend.


I'm wondering if anyone else has experienced this or if anyone understands how swim is feeling. She realizes it's part of the comedown but she has noticed that she feels like every time they are alone. For example, she was with many people and those people left for about 5 minutes - during those 5 minutes swim and her boyfriend felt distant and uncomfortable. As soon as these people came back they felt normal and happy around each other.

Anyone know what's going on?

[mickenator]

Has swiy been with her boyfriend long ? It doesn't sound too good and if swim was having these feelings about there partner then swim would think it best to leave the drug alone. Seems strange how swiy only feels this way when alone with him. Does swiy feel comfortable with him when in company and does swiy get on well with him then ?

[Charolastra]

Originally Posted by mickenator

Has swiy been with her boyfriend long ? It doesn't sound too good and if swim was having these feelings about there partner then swim would think it best to leave the drug alone. Seems strange how swiy only feels this way when alone with him. Does swiy feel comfortable with him when in company and does swiy get on well with him then ?

Swim has been dating her boyfriend for 2 years. They do drugs together on a daily basis. When swim is sober/on other drugs, she feels completely comfortable around him. She loves him to death and has no doubts or problems. Swim only feels like this when she is alone with him and on cocaine. When she is with her boyfriend + others, she feels very happy and close to him, but completely opposite when alone.

Swims friend understands what she is talking about. His explanation might help a bit more:

in spanish we call that being "prensao", as in, "prensado", as in, "pressed", like on a printing machine or something. two prensaos can't talk to each other, they both know the other is full of shit and just talking cos he/she is prensao, so you both need to "unload" your prense on people who aren't prensaos, try calling/texting people

[mickenator]

Now swim understands, you are both just waffling when around your friends and don't like to be alone as you have to staighten up and start talking normally. Swim used to do this with there partner many moons ago when swim was first getting into drugs. Most swims will start chatting on uppers about anything even if it is shit at the end of the day it doesn't really mean anyhthing.

[ReAlitY-HoLds-NonE]

SWIM has only experience cocaine around 3 times and didnt like it as he had a high threshold of it for whatever reason, although he did notice wit himself, and has noticed with others, that cocaine is a very extrospective drug that most people cant not talk or be social on, its better experienced with larger numbers of people as then there ar ultimatly more things to talk about and the topic of conversation has no need to become deep (to SWIM, cocaine isnt the best choice if one is looking for depth: he feels it is a very shallow drug (no offence to anyone its just what he thinks)) -and often in a reltionship a certain level of depth is required, that ultimatly cocaine will not give a person (there are other drugs out there for this )

[Charolastra]

Originally Posted by ReAlitY-HoLds-NonE

SWIM has only experience cocaine around 3 times and didnt like it as he had a high threshold of it for whatever reason, although he did notice wit himself, and has noticed with others, that cocaine is a very extrospective drug that most people cant not talk or be social on, its better experienced with larger numbers of people as then there ar ultimatly more things to talk about and the topic of conversation has no need to become deep (to SWIM, cocaine isnt the best choice if one is looking for depth: he feels it is a very shallow drug (no offence to anyone its just what he thinks)) -and often in a reltionship a certain level of depth is required, that ultimatly cocaine will not give a person (there are other drugs out there for this )

Swim also gets these feelings when she smokes marijuana with her boyfriend except she thinks he hates her and she gets anti-social. She does not get this with anyone else.

[ReAlitY-HoLds-NonE]

Originally Posted by Charolastra

Swim also gets these feelings when she smokes marijuana with her boyfriend except she thinks he hates her and she gets anti-social. She does not get this with anyone else.

SWIM got that with some of his closest friends, but was cool with strangers,,, if SWIY is at all similar to SWIM then it may be a result of the fact that they know that person, and SWIY knows what they do or dont like and as a process of insecurity, she is internalizing these and perceiving that he/she has these attributes...

[socialkittn]

swiy knows EXACTLY what you mean. swiy and their bf both hate being touchy feely. Usually get very social and engage in awesome heart felt conversations, but dont wanna kiss or hug or anything.

[questforstarfish]

I think it just has to do with being on different wavelengths, and sadly enough I can't think of anything that can help it When swim does drugs with certain friends she has an amazing time, but with certain friends/people she loves to death sober, she absolutely can not stand to be with on coke. They could be best friends in regular life but something about being on drugs just doesn't let their energies mesh and makes for a bad time. It's so good that both parties feel it though, that seems like it would alleviate any hurt feelings. SWIM thinks that really just talking about it would be the best thing...swim realizes this isn't always possible but if both parties are feeling similarly there probably won't be any problems It sounds typical, but be honest! It's often not a problem that can be helped or explained, but maybe the fact is the two of them just aren't meant to snort together?