Experiences - When and Why Did You Start?

[Song]

SWIM plans on doing the best drug at the worst time in his life which will probably be in a few years. So when and/or why did SWIY start?

[Milk man]

Swim tried it 8 months ago. He was told it was opium, so swim was like hmmm, can't be as bad as heroin. Then he was at a different friends house who bought some black tar and swim was like huh, is that opium? He started laughing was like no this is black tar(lol so swim did some, cause swim got tricked into paying). Swim called his guy but he got locked up and then swim saw him around a few months ago and asked. He told swim it was H. Yet swim has done it several times since is and still not addicted to it(And will never use enough to be become addicted). Thank god.

Milk man added 1 Minutes and 15 Seconds later...

The above story is completely fictional. I would never do drugs. I happened to find the story above in a diary.

[Dexyfiend]

SWIM first did heroin back in 97/98 when he was 16/17... he can't remember excact dates... and did it mainly because it was a natural progression from IVing amphetamines.
He was a bit of a speed freak and banged up speed probably 4-5 times a week, but it was very expensive and he had to steal to feed his habit (he's not proud of this, he hates thieves). He started hanging out with some other users who had acsess to morphine tablets so natrually we (SWIM and his girlfriend at the time) shot up the pills and enjoyed them thoughrully(sp?) to say the least.
After the pills SWIM and his girly wanted to try some heroin so we got our mates mum to get some for us (strange I know). SWIM tried it and loved it and in those early days before tolerence sets in it was dirt cheap, about 4-5x cheaper than amphetamines for effect. Swim and his gf started doing it everyday and just as it was becoming a problem I hear news from England that my grandma is terminally ill. So SWIM his ma and little sis go to England for 3weeks to see dying grandma. SWIM comes back to oz after 3wks totally clean, in that time his gf has become a total junkie using shitloads and generally not in a good way.
SWIM stopped shooting up alltogether and eventually his gf sorted her life out and is now married to a very close friend of SWIMs with kiddies in tow and no drugs (except maybe some weed) done at all by either of them. (SWIM is very proud of his friends to say the least )
SWIM stopped IVing for years... did several shots in 2004 (amphetamines not heroin) then didnt do any whacking up again till about a year ago when he was in England again met some user and while incredibly drunk and on a massive bender he shot up heroin again.
SWIM's back to IVing amphetamine once every couple of weeks and IV's heroin once every coupla weeks also.
SWIM will never become addicted to H. He can't afford it and dosent want to go down that road anyway.
SWIM is fairly comfortable with his drug use at present.

[chillinwill]

SWIM first tried heroin back in 2006....swim had done vicoden and the like before but was never really addicted before he first tried heroin in 2006....SWIM's girlfriend was who got SWIM into it and SWIM has regretted that decison ever since

[mickenator]

Swim started taking heroin back in about 1990 along with most of his mates, at that time it was all new to us so we didn't know about the damage and destruction that would follow swims nearly two decades of opiate abuse. It just seemed to swim the thing to do as everyone else they knew did it so hey what the f**k. It wasn't until swim went through there first proper withdrawl that swim actually knew they had a problem, swim felt like they were going to die. Now swim just thinks enough.

[missparkles]

Sparkles is aware that some use heroin for the first time because they wanted to experience the buzz. But others use it as a form of self medicating, because they're in some pain, pain they can't cope with.
So why did SWIY first use heroin?
Was it cos mates used it, or was it cos it was the most available drug?
If it was for recreational use, has SWIY been able to maintain that use, and if so, how?
TIA.
Sparkles.

Remember to SWIM, heroin is illegal, unless prescribed, in most countries.

Abrad has also mentioned curiosity, so Sparkles is gonna add it to the poll.

[Abrad]

Curiousity should perhaps be added to the poll. That's how SWIM would have voted.

[missparkles]

Originally Posted by Abrad

Curiousity should perhaps be added to the poll. That's how SWIM would have voted.

Thanks, I'll add it.
Sparkles.

[EyesOfTheWorld]

Because of the high cost of addiction to Oxy and other Rx opiates.
Labmonkey got into opiates for two reasons: the buzz and pain relief. Of course he thought the usual "addiction won't happen to me". Here he is 15 years later with a spike in his arm and an endless jar of pills. Unfortunately he hasn't found anything else that works for his very legitimate pain issues, so he doesn't think he could quit, but not for the usual reason of not wanting to WD, but for medicinal purposes.

[MsBrownstone]

Sway was in a bad skiing accident where she broke her hip and pelvis and messed up her knee pretty badly. In the hospital after knee surgery they gave her IV morphine, and then when she went home she had a RX for oxys (which she totally abused, of course..) She had experimented with heroin in the past but hadn't done any in a year or so, but when her prescription ran out she found that she was physically dependant on them, the only opiate she could get to cure the sick was dope, so she got hooked and has been using ever since.
It probably would have happened anyway, though, without the accident, it would have just taken longer. The first time she tried dope she knew she was in trouble, because she absolutely loved it. Still does.

MsBrownstone added 3 Minutes and 34 Seconds later...

Why did SWIsparkles start using gear..? She doesn't have to answer if she doesn't want to.. Sway is just curious.

[missparkles]

Sparkles doesn't mind answering at all.
She was hospitalised at age 11 with a mental breakdown.
She progressed from diazepam (given while she was in hospital), to alcohol, and by age 13 was using heroin.
For her it was an emotional comforter, it stopped her feeling any pain, feeling anything actually.
It's briefly documented here, but there's loads left out. It's hard to think about sometimes.

http://www.drugs-forum.com/forum/showthread.php?t=94874

Sparkles.

[SmokeNmirrors]

Swims main reason for trying it was he had pretty much had done every drug there is and when he became a member of DF he always read posts of how it was the ultimate high, how its in a completely different league to everything else. Swim use to do a lot of cocaine and other opiates like oxy and morphine so he didn't think that he would end up addicted.....WRONG! So basically its a little bit of both swim enjoys being high and the rush which is why he mainly does speedballs but now its also self medicating because of withdraws and the mental/depressing state swim has without it.

[MsBrownstone]

Aww, Sway read SWIsparkle's post.. That sounds awful, so sorry you had to go through all that, and glad that swiY seem like you're in a much better place presently..
Sway understands completely, she used to feel like everyone in the world was given a handbook at some point.. telling them how to live and deal with life and somewhere along the line she just kind of missed it. When she started using, all those crazy feelings just went away. She wasn't sad or lonely or stressed, and she didn't feel so awkward all the time. Now she knows how unhealthy it is to just self-medicate and cover up all her problems, but old habits die hard. Sway thinks that the two of us have very much in common. If swiY ever needs someone to talk
to, feel free.

Reputation Comments on this post:

	i really like way you worded that.
	swim thinks that is very true for most people but especially addicts

[$limJim]

Originally Posted by MsBrownstone

Aww, Sway read SWIsparkle's post.. That sounds awful, so sorry you had to go through all that, and glad that swiY seem like you're in a much better place presently..
Sway understands completely, she used to feel like everyone in the world was given a handbook at some point.. telling them how to live and deal with life and somewhere along the line she just kind of missed it. When she started using, all those crazy feelings just went away. She wasn't sad or lonely or stressed, and she didn't feel so awkward all the time. Now she knows how unhealthy it is to just self-medicate and cover up all her problems, but old habits die hard. Sway thinks that the two of us have very much in common. If swiY ever needs someone to talk
to, feel free.

That's fucked up. Slim just read basically the exact same thing in this book his mom gave him. It's called Tweak and it's about this methaddicted kid. But he said the same shit, "It was like everyone else had been given a handbook of how to live life and he was just winging it, not knowing what the fuck to do" (not the exact quote, of course). When Slim read this he was like 'damn, that's exactly how I felt when I was fifteen and started doing dope'.

Pretty crazy. Maybe that's just how everyone feels growing up, but certain people get through it in different ways. Us Swimmers take the shortcut through drugs, while "normal" people have to deal with it all emotionally and all that hard stuff.

For Slim, since the age of 13 when he began to smoke weed and pop pills (and basically do anything he could get his hands on at that age), heroin was always like the King of Drugs. Like the one thing that other people he knew (and respected) were actually kind scared of. Probably because they had seen what it does to a person, and Slim hadn't, so he just thought, Wow, I have got to do some of that shit. He really wasn't even looking for the high, it was all about the idea of actually doing Heroin.

Once he actually tried it (at 14), he remembers his heart thumping and his hands shaking before he even snorted the line, just because he had built it up in his head as this huge thing. He was honestly really dissapointed in the effects. Which at the time, he didn't realize the shit he did was bunk, being some black tar mixed with sleeping pills to produce a light brown powder.

So he forgot about it until, about a year later, his weed connect out of nowhere was like "I got these China White caps". Slim told the guy about his dissapointing past experience, and dude explained to Slim that this was 'real heroin' and to be careful with this shit. Oh my fucking God! This was the absolute best experience of Slim's life.

And Slim don't like to get too emotional about things, but at that time his parents were getting divorced, which kind of had Slim fucked up, and this stuff made none of that shit matter in the least.

[I_8_my yellow crayon]

Swim felt that way too, swim lost the love of his life when he was 19, he didn't want to walk the world alone, he was scared to be all by himself, he got in accident, and found a friend in opiates while in hospital. Swim was given permenant script for hydromorphone. When he went dry he would buy brown. His new friend made it possable for him to talk to people again, be himself, make something out of the nothing he thought he was. Swim died inside, and dope brought swim back to life. Swim was also surrounded by a family that when he screamed, nobody answered, when he reached, he got slapped, when he helped, he got hurt, swim's world was completely destroyed around him. Everyone he loved and trusted turned their backs. Swim couldn'y understand why, he still often wonders if he is "over-emotional" or if these people are cold. Swim can't tell the difference. Swim thought he knew what love was and how other's projected it, but he was wrong. Opiates is the only comfort swim gets, so why would he stop? Since he has tryed, and found no comfort. Swim doesn't use heroin anymore, but every since he was 19, he has been...dying for something to live for type thing......Opiates just, fix things for swim.

[Broxy]

swim was totally ignorant about heroin , thought you took the stuff , became addicted then lived a life of misery. To cut a long story short swim thought he could help a hardened user come off the stuff , HA how wrong swim was . Thirteen years later swim is paying the price !

[mickey_bee]

Swim thinks his path into addiction was probably very similar to most people's.
Swim was a recreational 'chipper' for about a year, during which he never experienced any troubles with controlling his habit.
However, after about a year he found himself very depressed due to external factors in his life, and after a few months of struggling with it, he realised instead of feeling shit he could feel just dandy if he gave this bloke a fiver.

That's when it all went to shit, and swim started using not just for fun. Within a month a fiver's worth wouldn't do anything, and he found himself on methadone 7 months later following several failed attempts to get clean on his own.

He's currently on another methadone course.....not really working for him, he's not really in a good place.

Swim found it easy to resist while his life was going ok, but as soon as he found himself in trouble, he picked up a heroin habit.

Beware all ye! Life as a smackhead is crap!!

Reputation Comments on this post:

	Thanks for pointing out the reality of most peoples heroin use.
	thanks for pointing out the realities of H addiction - it doesnt necessarily happen straight away

[east_of_eden]

swim had done every other drug out there and found that she loved (most) all of them and had been developing a growing curiousity towards heroin for some time. much like swislimjim said, it was like climbing to the top of the drugs ladder.

her friends didn't use it, it wasn't around her, but she searched it out and had someone shoot her up and instantly fell in love. looking back on the "why" of it, she thinks that curiousity was a major factor but she also had a desire to try everything, to experiment to the fullest and live a lifestyle where she'd never look back and say she was scared to try something.

this is the naivety and arrogance of youth and of course over ten years down the line, heroin is still the one drug that is always with her. every other drug she used to use has fell by the wayside, but her "one night stand" with heroin turned into a "long term relationship", the kind that a person knows is destructive but cannot bear the idea of being without.

Reputation Comments on this post:

Insightful post.

[skylined]

I suffer from depression... and a bit of seperation anxiety. My ex left me, took my child from me because I threatened her scum bag boyfriend.. I turned to prescription pills I had lying around (I had used heroin and opiates in the past) just to get out of bed. It has snowballed into a full blown heroin addiction. I can't go 12hrs now without getting sick... and my life is worse than ever.

Reputation Comments on this post:

Use SWIM, remeber the self incrimination rule, please.

[BrownStreakRailroad]

mostly because alot of people around SWIM were using it and he had been given some crack instead of the ordered coke powder a week previously to first trying gear, once the barrier to crack had been broken, he saw heroin on the same level and tried it as it was kind of the last thing on the drug list and none of the other drugs had fucked him up....why should heroin?? boy how wrong he was!!!