When is enough enough

[mickenator]

Swim was wondering when is it time to call it a day and just get used to the fact that they are going to be an addict for the rest of there lives. Has any other swims come to the point where they have tried and tried to come clean but only succeded for a short time and then gone back down the same old path or should one never give up and always think this will be it ?

[blackdb1]

Swim is 20 years old and has been addicted to opiates since age 16. So 4 years of his life he has been on and off on and off again and again. He has detoxed long-term habits about 7 or 8 times with varying times before relapse. Swim even after a couple months still felt just nasty and out of it. He decided recently to go on suboxone maintenance and finally feels the way he did before getting hooked on opiates if not BETTER than EVER!!!

Swim being young needs to get going with his life; GED, college, etc. He considers himself a pretty smart individual but the opiate addiction just had him in a place where he could not achieve the things he wants done, and needs done.

It has only been 2 weeks since being on suboxone but swim has almost accomplished more in these 2 weeks than he did the whole 4 years addicted to opiates. Swim is not one of those people who can be a fully functional addict!

Basically swiy needs to acess the situation and contemplate on the pros and cons of swiyour particular addiction. From there swiy can decide does swiy want to continue to be hooked on illicit drug use or go cold turkey sober and let time heal wounds or maybe go on a maintenance program...

Hopefully swim has helped somewhat in regards to swiyour question!!! Keep swim updated on how swiyou are doing and what swiy is doing to improve the situation! Good luck Have a great day and be safe
-bdb1-

Reputation Comments on this post:

good advice

[kaloochi]

That feeling of despondancy is a terrible thing. SWIM, having read a few of your posts doesn't think swiy will stop trying. Never write yourself off theres plenty of others out there more than willing to do that for you. Theere are certain people who used to look down on swim and when he sees them now he can't believe he let them bother him. SWIY knows he doesn't want this life it's just taking that final step,that last hurdle. Clean up before worrying too much about relapsing in the future.

[Lisa J]

Very few of us get it right the first time, SWimickenator has to look at past relapses as a way of learning by the mistakes made so as to try and get it right next time. If it was so easy to stop there wouldn't be any old addicts like us would there

SWIM has noticed that in the groups she attended most of the people seriously trying to quit (most doing well) are in their 30's & 40's, all have had enough of all the shit that goes with addiction. When your younger you tend to quit for other reasons, family & friends/partners, pressure from court orders/testing, prison etc. SWIM thinks you can't quit for good until you've had enough yourself, then you've got a chance.

Never stop trying, even a life being maintained is better than living as an addict, that successful cleanup could be just around the corner, you don't know if you don't go for it

[kaloochi]

Addiction doesn't sit comfortably with any SWIMMERS on this forum or why would they be posting here? SWIMs been fighting this for 27 years, he never felt comfortable with his dependancy. Even if SWIY tries and falls by the wayside, to SWIM that's someone succeeding in trying. Never give up.

[msmogadon]

SWIM was thinking this could work in a reverse psychology sort of way.
If SWIM thinks "fuck it thats it i'm going to be a junkie for the rest of my life. No more normal stuff for SWIM yeeha lets go and get as fucked up as possible" SWIM could perhaps start having cravings for a straight head and everytime normality pops into SWIMs head she wuold just have to go and get sorted right then lol.
It might be worth a try if all else has failed...
Can you tell SWIM is also starting to clutch at straws

[y0ssarianlives]

Hey man,

SWIM can definitely sympathize with SWIYs thinking; after hitting the ground so many times it's tough to pull oneself up over and over and after a while the routine just seems so ingrained that there is no escaping from it.

SWIM believes that recently developing a sense of spiritual direction has helped SWIM pull through a period of time in his life that likely mirrors SWIYS own; we're not talking god here or anything but a sense of purpose to life or some short or long term goals that might help improve SWIYS outlook and give SWIY something to do.

Opioids are tough man; it takes the brain anywhere from 6 months to a year to recover to a state of pre-opioid use functionality, and it can be very very tough to stop using opioids cold turkey. SWIM suggests looking into a methadone or suboxone maintenance program if that is an option for you.

Good luck, let us know how SWIY is doing.

[SomniCeph]

Hey there,

My Ceph has been dependent on various opioids for over ten years now and he tells me it is a never ending battle of two very different powers of will fighting in the brain. It is such a difficult challenge and one that can not be done alone.

Ceph has also been on Suboxone/buprenorphine for 2.5 years at 14mg and battles ever day whether to get off and be clean or just stay on buprenorphine forever as it makes Ceph feel very normal and most importantly, happy. He dreads yet desires the day when he is opiate free, if his will ever be strong enough. Finding a lover and beautiful partner two years ago helped Ceph re evaluate his former decision to remain on opiates for life as he strongly desires to do so. He wants to function normally like his partner and not be a slave to buprenorphine for the rest of his life and he thanks his lover for the caring that helped him change his mind and begin the dose reduction.

In this world where the addict is demonized and opiophobia is absolutely rife, it will never be a truly comfortable life being opiate dependent, regardless the opiate in question. Like probably most opiate addicts, Ceph just wants normalcy in the long run but still wants to stay on opiates for a couple more years yet. He isn't stable enough as a polydrug user!

All the best

[shembelial]

Why feel guilty about being a dope fiend? We are really the last of the last minorities. Everyone has rights except for most of us. Can anyone legally walk into a pharmacie and buy a bottle of oxy. No not without registering into some kind of program. As long as drugs aren t fucking up your life than don t feel guilty. I ve gone through all the stages of drug addiction and guess what,? you start over from scratch when you reach rock bottom. You have to use responsibly and not feel guilty about trying to find something that relieves boardom and stress. If drugs are fucking up your life get off them find a substitute take up a hobbie, i don t know but do something and above all don t feel guilty for having a disease. cancer patients get all the dope they want why can t I I m just as sick....

Reputation Comments on this post:

good points

[Politicalchalk]

While Swim is not typically an advocate of 12-step programs such as NA, they do retain one bit that always seemed insightful: "Just for today."

The idea is that it's much easier to get a handle on the addiction by limiting it to today. No mention of what happens tomorrow. Just today. Really, it's a great motivation technique.

But as a general rule, if you have to ask yourself if it's getting out of hand...