My Girl Needs Help. I need Help.

[wyodiver]

Hi all. I am new here. My GF of two years is back in detox for pills. She did five days a year ago and went right back to them. Percs, Oxy, Roxy, etc. So she's back in detox and is going to do a month of rehab. It's not court ordered. She wants to quit. I have done the pills with her but never thought they were that big of a deal. I feel guilty as hell for ever doing them with her. I love the woman with all my heart and would never leave her. She has a rough life. She's a single mom with a 7 year old boy who has Autism. I want to marry my Girl but I'm scared. For a lot of reasons. Again, I love her. I am reaching out to you people. I need to talk to someone. Thanks.

[MrG]

Being a parent is one of the most stressful, but rewarding things you can be. Being a single mother of a child with special needs must be even harder.

When she comes back from rehab she will need real help and support from you, not just a hug and a few kind words. If you truly love her, you'll stand in front of her and take the force of the blow. Protection.

If you can't hack it as a step-father then don't waste her time, it'll only leave her in misery when you walk away. Know what you feel, don't guess it. You are being asked to make a real commitment here, she needs to see that you are willing to really be there for her and her boy because you want to be, not because you feel guilty.

If SWIY (Someone Who Isn't You) has a habit, then either kick it or keep it away from her. She needs a man in her life, not a needy junkie.

[Humanity]

By what you've told us, it would seem that you and your ladyfriend have things under control, at least for now! If I may ask, who's going to be looking after her child while she's in rehab?

You guys just have to hang in there... maybe there's someone you know that you can talk about this with. Real life conversations beat forum ones in this context imo, and I think you'll find it a relief to open up to someone.

Hang in there and let us know how things go, though I'm sure both of you will be fine

Best of luck

[Panthers007]

And getting her out of the same setting she was in is usually crucial. Don't have her pill-popping pals in arm's reach to giggle at her doing a rehab and offer her some more Roxies, dude. Try to get out of the area. Even if it's across town. Otherwise everything she sees will remind her of "the good old days when nothing hurt."

Vamoose! It sounds like you truly love her. Now you need to prove it. Even if it hurts for awhile. There are lives in the balance.

[wyodiver]

Thanks guys! I will be there for her every step of the way. I truly love her and can't imagine leaving her now. Or ever. Her child is staying with the Grandparents. I honestly don't have anyone to talk to about this in real life because of the circles the GF and I run in overlap. This is hard. My brother is dead because of drug abuse. I don't want my GF to hurt. Ever. Don't get me wrong. I'm no angel. But thank God I never got addicted to those damned pills.

[MrG]

Trouble is that whilst you might say that you never saw what the big deal about those pills was, you never had the crushing guilt of being a "bad mom" hanging over you like the sword of damoclese.

She got a whole lot more from those pills than you realise and now they have to be replaced by somebody who she can count on.

When she comes out, tell her how you feel. Make it clear to her about your commitment and, as P said, move far far away from where you are now. Take the pressure off her wherever you can, come up with an action plan the both of you can work to whereby you can achieve something together.

All in all, stop her from feeling like a single mum.

[y0ssarianlives]

SWIM sympathizes with SWIY and the ladyfriend; according to many studies especially with opioid addiction the relapse rate of sobriety based rehabilitation is huge. Perhaps methadone or suboxone is a step to consider if proper health insurance is available. Please watch out to make sure you are not in a co-dependent relationship as this will hinder her recovery and is not healthy for either person involved.

SWIM is a huge advocate for medication-based treatment for opioid addiction if that is an available option; perhaps this is something SWIY might bring up with said lady.

SWIM wishes the best of luck for the future; and really hopes she pulls through and can get off the stuff. SWIM has failed at that and knows the hell that life is for those dependent on these substances and has hope whenever SWIM hears a story such as this that things work out for the best.

peace

[UNIBLACK810]

What I have come to learn about recovery is that it is always greater and much more succesful when you do it just because you wanna do it. Reading your post I see that you said her rehab was not court ordered so we know she went there for other reason's. As good an idea as it may be and as sincere and heart warming as it maybe to go to rehab for your husband and your relationship even for your children is not gonna keep you off drugs for long. You have to go because you (SWIY) or (SWIH) wants to sincerely be there because they are just plain f**ing tired. The reason being is that if someone goes to rehab because they love there spouse and they want to do it for them,what happens if your spouse is taken away? Now your reason for sobriety has also been taken,so it's back to doing what you do best. Sorry to go all around the topic but I just wanted to make it case and point that I hope she's there for all the right reason's. Because rehab also becomes habitual. But I"d wish you all the best of luck if I believed in it but I don't. LUCK IS LIKE PINOCHIO, IT DOESNT EXIST!. But I will wish you both blessings and and my greetings for determination and hard work. Later.

[wyodiver]

Thanks everyone for the help. I've talked to her a lot over the last few days. She could never have someone who has her back as much as I do. We love each other and we will get through this together. She's far from perfect and I am far from perfect. Together we will be able to take on anything that life throws at us. It's 2008. Life can be a bitch. I'm happy to be with her. Cheers.