Experiences - Tripping for Introspection Leads to Bad Trips?

[paperstreet]

SWIM has a limited history with substances that make one trip, however has noticed something about the outcomes of his trips. For SWIM, he only enjoys his trips when he goes into them with a "whatever" attitude. SWIM has done acid once, shrooms 3 times and DXM once. Out of all these trips, he has only had one bad trip, and before that trip he had quite a different mindset.

SWIM wanted that one trip (on shrooms btw) to be a life changing "holy" experience. He wanted to talk with god and figure out the meaning of life (in particular his own life), and instead ended up in the fetal position with his eyes closed for 5 hours in his bed trying to hide from the world. It was honestly the most terrifying and worst feeling he has ever felt. It was the kind of horrible feeling you would have if you watched everyone you loved in the world getting tortured and killed one by one in front of your eyes... multiplied by 100. SWIM would have taken himself to the hospital if he wasn't terrified of opening his eyes and getting out of his bed. Fifteen mg of diazepem and some chugs of vodka didn't even help the horrible feelings the slightest. The next day SWIM's reaction was: "WTF HAPPENED LAST NIGHT???" because he felt completely back to normal except being hungover and a little sore. He could not believe 3.8 grams of shrooms (or anything in the entire universe for that matter) could make him feel like that...

Anyways... the main point SWIM has here is that the other trips that SWIM has had were all enjoyable and all of them were done on a whim. No preparing, no goals for the trip, he just wanted to get rediculously high with some friends and thats what he got. SWIM wants to know if people share similar experiences with their preparation for trips and the trips' outcomes. It seems that many people try to grow spiritually when tripping and always recommend "respecting the shrooms/lsd/etc..." The only time SWIM respected one of these drugs, it raped him for hours and hours... Thoughts?