Walked Into A Bad Trip

[EchoingVoices]

SWIM has had very limited use of any psychadelics.. SWIM, the first time trying LSD attended a musical festival event of a small group of old heads and young heads.. everyone there was amazing, SWIM had a great time, it was SWIM's first weekend tripping on LSD, SWIM's first weekend rolling on X, and SWIM also got the chance to drink Mescaline tea... this weekend was great, SWIM saw so much beauty, love, care for each other.. SWIM was excited to see these people again and obtained a phone number of a very talented man.

SWIM was unfortunently moving large weight of cannibus at the time, and the day after the festival his guy got DEA raided, SWIM dropped out of the game and took 2500 dollars to attend a "school" to learn a trade..

SWIM a week or two later went to this place, which wasn't very big, or fancy, and hung out with the people, SWIM ingested 1 and a half gel tabs of LSD on a wednesday night, this wasn't a visual trip for SWIM, it was more of a mind torture..

Upon the trip starting, telepathy had begun, SWIM questions in SWIM's head were being awnsering in coincidental messages (metaphorical) in music, or in conversation by the people around SWIM.. SWIM was told that eating the acid was going to condemn him to hell, and that SWIM was in the presence of the reincarnation of Jesus Christ, SWIM had multiple coincidental mind readings, and everytime SWIM would think, or have wandering thought.. SWIM was punished more and more.

SWIM was shown video's of The Grateful Dead, offered large sums of money which wouldn't be received, threats upon SWIMS life, SWIM's friends lives.. messages that SWIM's friends were tied into this, SWIM also had met new people which were very fun and liked Ketamine... alot, ( coincidentally enough Ketamine would of modulated the PTSD.. or has shown to, in experiments. ) SWIM was told these kids were all under the head guy or Jesus Christ's reincarnation in the drug line..

SWIM was offered with a chance to commit suicide, upon which he did not, and neither was he harmed by the demons, or whatever they may be.. SWIM had decided instead that forgiveness in the lord was the safe way out, and instead of killing SWIMSELF he awoke the "reincarnation" or guy who was believed to be Christ and asked for help being saved, SWIM had 4 more days of spiritual growth, from learning about The Medicine Wheel, to Scientology, to Chakra's and Aura's... SWIM learned alot of new information, but him feeling like he was hopeless, and the suicide thing had induced Post Traumatic Stress Disorder... SWIM then attended a festival, and again telepathy was common, people were feeding off SWIM's energy, and making SWIM feel less wanted when SWIM got depressed and hopeless feeling.

Since SWIM has had many many things happen that also relate to the experiance...

SWIM ingested MDA, upon coming off the roll, SWIM bad trip / flashbacked for 25 hours, where once again the battle of heaven and hell was brought to SWIM's attention on earth.. SWIM doesn't want to believe that this is true, and doesn't want to admit that eating the "forbidden" fruit (LSD) has condemned him to hell.

SWIM also ate mushrooms a few das ago, and the bad trip came back.. also relating to "The Grateful Dead", Hell on earth, and horrible Deja Vu which makes SWIM question his destiny..

SWIM needs help, or someone who might know why he can't escape or overcome the bad trip.. or should SWIM accept it? SWIM wants to be part of the people who're his friends that he's made over drugs, but drugs keep messing with SWIM's head, SWIM had a small psychosis episode after returning to his home from the 5 day bad trip, also having lost 2500$ (after paying it to them, and being scared off by the cult thing , SWIM is in a horrible posistion in life.)

SWIM has reoccuring nightmares, after which he wakes up.. he flashbacks to the LSD worldly coincidences... SWIM is lost.. and wants someone who can help, SWIM loved tripping.. loved the beauty, and exploring his knowledge.. but now SWIM is in hell when tripping.. =/

SWIM might have walked into a cult, but it manifests itself to SWIM in SWIMS friends when SWIM trips, SWIM's friends take on the roles of reincarnated flower children, demons, and SWIM fears burning in hell, or losing all touch.

EchoingVoices added 3 Minutes and 20 Seconds later...

My question is.. everytime SWIM trips, it's the same trip, different spin on it.. ever since that traumatic experience..

Will this go away with a long time of no use? or should SWIM just leave it alone and attempt to live in society?

SWIM can't even smoke daily due to tension head aches and anxiety brought on...

[Nature Boy]

Perhaps SWIY should just take an extended holiday from psychedelics. He's clearly allowed his mind to clutter with worries and superstitions so continuing on the hallucinogenic journey without clarity is inadvisable. A bad experience with psychedelics can be frightening. Only return to them when SWIY feels comfortable that he can "keep the demons at bay" so to speak.

[Lunar Loops]

Originally Posted by Nature Boy

Only return to them when SWIY feels comfortable that he can "keep the demons at bay" so to speak.

Or not at all for that matter. Psychedelics, like everything else, affect different people in different ways. Just as there are people who should not drink alcohol because of the way they react when under the influence, there are also people who should not ingest psychedelics. This may seem like a drastic option to SWIY, but you surely have to ask yourself is it all worth it? If the experience is always a painful one and SWIY is gaining nothing but torment from the experience, then surely SWIY should just say NO (to coin a well used phrase).

The human mind can be very fragile in nature, treat it with respect.

Any underlying issues that SWIY may have (even if not consciously aware of them) will be magnified by the ingestion of psychedelics.

[Panthers007]

Agreed. Psychedelics should be (in MY opinion) used at special times in life. Not when one is wrestling dragons. Give it a rest. SWIM will feel better down the lane & around the bend.

[Lobsang]

Well SWIy is so all over the place in his report that it is kind of hard to follow but that is OK. It seems as if SWIM understands SWIy correctly SWIy took a lot of different things together the first time and that is not recommended. This did not cause problems but it does indicate SWIy may need to slow down. It is reflective of his Newness to the game as well as his mindset. But that is neither here nor there.

As stated SWIy's report is difficult to follow possibly due to frustration. But it does indicate that there is some casue or "etiology" for these thoughts. Something just below the surface which is making waves but cannot be seen. It was on the bottom of the sea. But now it has been disturbed and causing a stormy sea.

SWIM might recommend slowing down. It sounds like SWIy is moving way too fast. Something has been uncovered. It was not caused by the acid. The acid simply shook it loose. Many times the self is like a puzzle. The puzzle is put together and makes a picture. But the picture is distorted in some way but it is still a picture. This is beacause the peices are not put together properly. But the picture appears organized and stable and is relatively functional. Acid and other sacraments can cause the puzzle to break into peices. To move from organization to chaos. The peices of the puzzle can then be put together again properly to form a new clear and undistorted picture. A new self. In order to do this the original puzzle must be broken up into it's parts. The old parts refit ointo a better alignment. There could have been one original misfitted piece(life occourance) but his can lead to other poorly fitted pieces.

Now. When the mind puzzle is in chaos or disassembled the body will be as well. As they are all SWIy. This is why when in the chaotic state(and SWIy is in it even if he is not on sacraments right now--The door has been opened and the puzzle is in pieces) everything is fractured. The mind and the body. SWIM would recommend that SWiy consider getting some bodywork and exercise. Like massage. Also things like jogging long distance and possible yoga and streatching. To re-align the body on the material level. To organize the matter of the body. The mind and the body are connected and to align one will align the other. SWIM might recommend chiropractic work to align the body along with excersize. But the excersize can help a lot on it's own.

In any event SWIM thinks that SWIy should really back down on the variety things being ingested and let things heal. This will take time to figure out. Then when SWIM is ready they could be tried again gently. SWIM migh find a good psychologist to help him figure all this out but few are knowledgeable. It would be hard to find the correct one.

It is not an easy thing to figure out how and why we have been damaged. Many times it takes many years for resolution. But SWIM will tell SWIy this. It is not likely to happen by doing things like smoking pot every day or partying daily. Substances can halt progress if overused. SWIm is in no way judging or saying SWIy does this. He is just saying it for the record. To gain benefit from sacraments one should have long periods of abstinence from all mind altering substances to allow for healing and analysis. In that period one can study books, meditate, think, excersize and heal.

SWIM's thoughts reflect one functional operational model and some of the things he sees. There are different lenses and other lenses may acheive the desired result.

Reputation Comments on this post:

Wow, amazing post! Master of words anyone?

[EchoingVoices]

SWIM has laid off of all smoking pot and partying.. and has taken up meditation, and thinking.. and reading, excersize sounds like it will help alot.. SWIM really really really thanks SWIY guys for this information.

SWIM wants to avoid tripping, but also wants to avoid these superstitious insights into life.. SWIM didn't believe in Christianity until it was.. brought up under certain circumstances, and put in a trailer with a pistol, told he had sinned and blacked out due to an anxiety attack... all while on LSD. ..

SWIM didn't take the LSD at any time in his life he felt threatened, SWIM thought that the people weren't out to hurt him.. and got thrown into a hole

SWIM wasn't aware of what was in the tea (mescaline) when he drank it, SWIM assumed it wouldn't harm him.. because the others there he also believed wouldn't harm him, and that was part of the "initiation" or whatever they called it... SWIM loves and trusts to easy (sadly.. and obviously) , assuming that everyone has a good about them.

SWIM isn't very old.. so a psychologist is out of the question, SWIM understands that being under the influence of LSD while this happened creates questions in psychologists and SWIM wants to believe and hope his sanity is still in place.



SWIM is alright with putting down psychadelics, SWIM was pursuing a "replacement" to the traumatic experience he had, but SWIM now understands drugs aren't going to fix his drug made issue.

SWIM has managed to keep the fear from controlling him, and haunting him to much.. and SWIM's personality has re-emerged from when he got back and went into a psychotic episode.

SWIM thanks everyone who responded, for him it feels a life or death matter.. with depression haunting SWIM, from these shaken loose issues.. sincerely, thank you.

EchoingVoices added 1 Minutes and 30 Seconds later...

*"SWIM wants to avoid not tripping, but also wants to avoid these superstitious insights into life" correction.

is there an edit button?

[Panthers007]

Newbies cannot edit. Wait until you make silver. Then the button will appear.

SWIM, like everyone else, needs their feet planted firmly on the ground to embark on a psychedelic voyage safely and free of baggage to bog him/her down. Tell SWIM to chill for awhile as SWIM finds where they are now. Learn about the world as exists. Not knowing such things can make it difficult for a SWIM to find their way back home again.

SWIM will be fine. But SWIM should trust me on this advice. Wait - it's not a horse-race.

[ADVOR]

One more thing to add:

If SWIY ingests a psychedelic drug while having feelings that SWIY's going to have a bad trip; SWIY probably will. So down the road, if and when SWIY decides to try to trip again, thinking positive. If SWIY expects a bad trip, a bad trip will be presented.