is it all coming to an end??

[speaker_whore]

this may all sound a little weird.
but im the sort of person who reads to much into things.
now i have been doing mdma for about 6 months now.
and not constantly.
and at a rave party on saturday.
something clicked and changed in me which i cant get my head around.

now about 4 hours into the party i was buzzing away. having a stomp with everyone there. then the gurns kicked in as usual. so i went to have a ciggerette. there was a sobar girl i began to talk to.
i asked her "as a sobar person what do we all look like infront of those speakers?"
she replied. to be honast. you all look like you have escaped out a mental home..
i looked at everyone. and could kind of see what she ment..
but i caried on the night and got more and more out of face.

at about 2am i noticed that every single song began to sound the same...
every drum and bass tune had the same riff...
every hardstyle song the same riff..
aswell as hardtrance and techno..
and everytime this same riff would play
everyone would shout tune???!!
and i was like.. this was played 5mins ago..

i went and asked my boyfriend who has given up mdma after abusing it for a long time. if he new what i ment or was i being paranoid??
he said.. yes.. it got like that for me.. and it gets boring.. every tune will sound the same.. same bass line over and over..

it scared me shitless i dont know why..

((dont think it helped that most people were on k and confusing me))
but i duno has anyone else had that??

its really worrying me that because i am figuring things out about drugs..
thats why im loosing the same effect i once had..
when i didnt question anything about them i just let myself go..

weird i know but thanks


xxx

Reputation Comments on this post:

Drugs Forum rule #16: Do not incriminate yourself. (This is why people use "SWIM")

[RaverHippie]

After doing any activity for a long time everything will come to have some degree of familiarity. That's all I can manage topic really, not sure how else to reply.

As far as the party sounding the same each time and being the same each time. Try going to a new locale. Changing the setting can dramatically alter the experience if you find yourself at the same club each time. Also, analyze what you crave and want to be new in the experience or what you expect to change. Why do you want these things to surprise you or appear new each time? Once you get into an understanding with that you seek then possibly you can alter the path you tread in order to achieve more unique experiences.

I forgot to mention, check out the link below this line of typing and read up on self-incrimination. We don't take too kindly to speaking openly about illegal activities.

[Panthers007]

Bongo, who is a very politically active ape, pretty much gave up going where there is loud music and crowds of people leaping about with dilated pupils shouting "Party! Rock on!"

Knowing the problems the world is facing, Bongo rather thought he was witnessing the fall of the Roman Empire - Part II. Bread & Circuses anyone?

But that's mean ol' Bongo for you.

[Schwag]

My friend says:
What you need to do, is diversify the types of Electronic Music you listen to. Just because you take some MDMA, does not mean you have to go to the typical rave, playing the same old repetitive Hard House, Hardstyle, D n' B, whatever. Most clubs play the crappiest songs of the aforementioned genres. Nobody cares anymore, the DJs are too lazy to find good music, and the dancers are all on MDMA - thinking everything sounds good. The producers realize nobody cares, so they produce uncreative, boring songs. For them this is easy, and they still make money without even breaking a sweat. It's no longer about the talent of being able to feed your emotions and thoughts into just sounds, for the popular artists at least. Myself, being a great fan of this style of music, I think it is a shame to see. Visit these websites: http://techno.org/electronic-music-guide, and http://discogs.com is also useful for finding interesting music. You will find there are many different genres of Electronic Music, pick your flavor.

SwiRaverHippie also gave some good advice. Change up the setting, you don't have to go to the same place. I mean, in my opinion, big clubs anywhere are going to play crappy Hard House, and the likes. I have to say though, I find the music they play in UK clubs to be especially bad. Try hopping across the pond!

[meep]

Swim had slightly too much of a new batch recently. He had his 150mg to start but the new stuff is far far stonger, swim spent the night wondering about as if something was missing. All the normall grinning, chatting and dancing like and idiot but something was missing all night. Swim also got the whole, the music is the same, the sound quality is shit, the people are more annoying than normal.

Intestingly, swim spoke to a guy in the smoking area who explained that was classic of taking too much. Swim knows less is more but had raised the 120 to 150 as his curret batch was shit. Swim got tricked with his new batch. Lesson learned.

Maybe try giving it a break and then taking a little less next time?

Swim still finds 120mg and a 50mg top up the best setup for him.

[radiometer]

MDMA is powerful medicine, and can tell one in no uncertain terms when it feels one has gotten the message and needs to move on, temporarily or permanently. In order to continue to derive benefit from MDMA at this point, it is necessary to reduce frequency of use, and to reassess ones approach to the experience.

There is definitely something to be said for the catharsis of experiencing MDMA in a safe party environment, bonding with strangers, dancing to good music, etc. But IMO the sooner one realizes the possibilities of what can be done with this substance in a private, controlled environment, the better.

My buddy Eddie loves techno music, but he can no longer maintain interest in being at a club or party all night, unless he is on a drug like MDMA - and if he took the drug, he'd end up wishing he was home alone with his sweetheart. So Eddie stays home, works on his relationship with himself and his partner, and listens to music on the stereo. It's much better than any rave, really.

It could be that MDMA is telling SWIY that it is time to take a break. Only SWIY can decide.


If you really like electronic music, then you should consider exposing yourself to some new styles - it sounds like you are hearing a very clichéd selection, if it all sounds like the same bassline. Try some music which is marketed for its inherent musical interest instead of its relentless beats or whatever.

Reputation Comments on this post:

	eddie is a wise man: As always a beautifully insightful post. Much love to him and sweetheart!
	Well said. You shouldn't feel you have to go to a rave or a club, when on MDMA. Besides, they play bad music! There is s...

[Beta]

A friend of mine told me that listen to techno/trance/house with mdma is a complete cliche. You will learn that mdma is interesting for a better perception of all kind of music... You can even try classical.

[radiometer]

Originally Posted by marcan

A friend of mine told me that listen to techno/trance/house with mdma is a complete cliche.

Your friend is closed minded. They might do well to read a bit on the topic of 'auditory driving.'

Reputation Comments on this post:

good suggestion

[Samadhi]

The experience is what the user makes it. Swim felt for a long time that MDMA was shit because he had an experience where he was very uncomfortable (people were trying to get him to cheat on his girlfriend with some nasty girl) But after a few months swim tried it again at a beach in La Paz, Mexico and loved it and has never stopped.

The feeling that the experience is cliche and played out is common for alot of people that swim knows. It fades when one takes a step back, lowers their inhibitions towards the activity (maybe even sobers up) and gets back into having a fun time.

And with music: Its all music right? The world don't move to the beat of just one drummer/beat machine/symphony. If it makes the body groove, listen to it and enjoy it! Don't classify steriotypes because it makes the music lose it's art form and ability to move. In the midst of a roll swim will listen to anything from mahavishnu orchestra to public enemy (yeeaaa boiii! ). As long as it works, it works

[Beta]

Originally Posted by radiometer

Your friend is closed minded. They might do well to read a bit on the topic of 'auditory driving.'

Maybe we have the same friend.
I was looking for 'auditory driving', do you have a link?

[Panthers007]

Bongo used to enjoy a night alone with his love - on one of the entactogens. With the stereo cranked and wired through Marshall stacks and the 1812 Overture by Tchaikovsky:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nU96Yvk310s

[radiometer]

Originally Posted by marcan

Maybe we have the same friend.
I was looking for 'auditory driving', do you have a link?

Just messing with you, with tongue firmly planted in cheek...I think you'll get what you want from this:


http://www.google.com/search?hl=en&q=auditory+driving

Cheers.

radiometer added 4 Minutes and 15 Seconds later...

Originally Posted by Panthers007

Bongo used to enjoy a night alone with his love - on one of the entactogens. With the stereo cranked and wired through Marshall stacks and the 1812 Overture by Tchaikovsky

I'll bet the neighbors loved that.

Rats. My initial enthusiasm for the doublepost automerger has waned considerably.

[VitaminK22]

Swim dont like to push anything onto anyone but it sounds to him like swiy needs a new experience, whether this be a change of music, scenery or drug, its upto you.

Swim used to take xtc quite alot and he started to get bored of doing the same thing but his friends were quite happy to go out every weekend and do the same thing, so swim found a new crowd of people who enjoy their house parties and LSD. Swim still sees his old friends, just not as much. Swim will probably introduce his old friends to his new ones and over-do LSD until his bored again.

[Songs4Jane]

The (sort of) same thing happened to me, but with alcohol. One night I decided not to drink while my university residence was hosting a party. I saw the entire thing through sober eyes (the stupidity, the insecurities, the skanky girls, etc.) and for months was unable to drink with these people, because I knew what I must look like. So, I cut back on drinking and also starting doing my partying with other people in a different setting.

Now, I would imagine that the same thing would hold true for your experience, and thus would recommend a break, a change of scene or a combination. Maybe try going to a nice music festival or concert?

Reputation Comments on this post:

good post, please check the rules regarding incrimination

[UpAllNiteOCXTC]

ahhh this exact thihng happened to swim. swim also over-analyzes like its her job.

swim plays drums and is very musically involved. but finds that songs that were mindblowing on X, or other drugs, now bore her to death. she cant get into them like she used to. <---this was swim 2.5 months ago.

Swim gave drugs a rest , let her body recuperate , and found that the old songs she used to love interest her again.

For swim, the key was taking a holiday, and using less often. Also, when swim started to think about how she didnt like the song, she mentally interrupted herself and told herself she loved the song, started singing, and psyched herself out.

[Crickets]

The best experience SWIM had on MDMA was actually practicing psychotherapy with a friend. He revealed so much about him self and SWIM talked him through it. After not to long he was in tears because he had such a mental break through. Today he is more self consience and happy. This just goes to show that MDMA is not just a rave-scene drug, but has immense potential for other purposes.

[Panthers007]

I wish SWIM would write up a detailed account of his/her experience with using MDMA for this ^^^ purpose. These reports serve as an invaluable insight into the vast potential therapuetic uses of entactogenics.

Headband's off to SWIM!

[RaverHippie]

SWIM thinks it would be interesting to have a mic and recorder for all the MDMA-enhanced conversations that people have. It would be much less cumbersome than writing notes or a trip report, which could impede the organic generation of thought.

[Nebiro]

Try new experiences, new scene and new music.

First time SWIM tried MDMA, it was with trance music. He kinda liked it, but it wasn't the best for him.

Since then, he has found his true place at psytrance local raves. There's nothing like feeling the vibe of a room filled with psytrance and lovely people on MDMA, LSD, 2CB, 2CE and all psychedelics drugs. Sure, there's other people on stimulants and K but they are also in the psy mood.

I don't think you should be afraid of looking "crazy". I think people on MDMA and psychedelics always look divine, as long as they act respectfully of the others. The best way too obtain trance, or a true psychic experience, is to let yourself go and forget that you give any importance about what others think of you. This way, you won't act like a moron, but rather like someone who is at peace with himself.

I once saw a girl in the street give a hug to a tree for like 10 minutes. Sure, she kinda looked crazy, but I was jalous of her and of the way she could not-give-a-fuck about what the others think.

The only drug that makes me feel stupid is alcool. Because you usually don't learn anything from it and it only makes you mentally handicapped.

Reputation Comments on this post:

You made some very truthful points. I think we should all learn to not judge each other negatively. That way, we wouldn'...

[aerozeppelin123]

Originally Posted by Nebiro

I think people on MDMA and psychedelics always look divine

Not sure about that one lol, when you see someone in the corner in a club gurning and rolling their eyes back in their head after having had half a gram of MDMA I wouldn't say they exactly look divine...agree with the rest of your post though

[Schwag]

My friend says:
I think Nebiro was talking about people who are taking a more average dose. In that case I would agree with him. But not everyone uses MDMA responsibly so... On the other hand, yes, when someone is rolling their balls off on half a gram of MDMA, they definitely look like a complete nutter. No way you can avoid that. You can't reasonably expect people on drugs (alcohol included) to look normal, though. That takes some talent, and lots of experience with said drug.

On another note, I wish they had Psytrance parties where I live! I used to love listening to Psytrance and old school Goa Trance. I still do, just not as much. I wish I could move to Europe.

[Conkermon]

SWIM knows exactly what you mean, especially with Hard House / Hardstyle and Hardcore sounding the same. He gets this at raves and at home. Like at Tranzmission 2006 during Andy Farley's set SWIM (and also his friends) thought that every tune he played sounded the same (and really dull). At Tranz 07 they put on Cally & Juice followed by Alex Kidd followed by Mark EG (he thinks Mark EG but maybe not). Anyway those are all Hardstyle DJs and SWIM got really sick of Hardstyle and wished they had mixed it up a bit with the DJ times.

Regarding Harcore, when SWIM gets fucked up at home he often listens to Harcore. Yet after a lot of Hardcore it begins to all sound the same. As a result you lose the entusiasm for it, SWIM normally spends ages changing CDs and never gets satisfied. I think if this happens and its towards the end of the roll + you're at home then put some chilled (but not grimey) music on, some trance or something. If you're at a rave and have 2+ hours before 6am then maybe do a few bumps of K to reinvigorate yourself (ofc be aware of the possible complications, however unlikely, of mixing drugs). SWIM has done this before to great effect.

[schiz0phren1c]

Swim told me that there may be a more prosaic explanation even though everyone is coming up with excellent ideas,and the change of setting is a damn fine one,
Swim recently got a batch of Mdma from a friend of his who normally has only the finest,
this batch had purple crystals in it rather than being all white/off white,
Swim and all of his friends had a completely different response to this stuff than to their normal mdma(and Swim has been doing ecstacy and mdma on and off for 17+ years) Swim and his mates were paranoid,confused,aggressive and twitchy for the whole night,not a good place to be and felt terrible afterwards...
do any swiys have an idea why(Swim has a few ideas of his own tbh,to do with the crystals,but would love to hear other peoples ideas),and also to suggest to the OP that someone they know may have been a victim of a similar batch.