clean and sober dealing with legal issues from past

[Spare Chaynge]

swim now around 112 days clean and sober. swim was an iv opiate user swjm been to methadone clinics. my main drug of choice was fentanyl . swim went through 8 months of rehab and while trying to get clean and sober swim relapsed and pick up a shop lifting charge. they tacked some fancy names on it and called it commercial burglary and petty theft. this is because they said swim had intent to steal the items before swom went into the store. Well now swim in negotiations with the da and they want swim to go back to in patient rehab to get the charges dropped. 28 days in rehab. swim never gotten more than 60 days while in in patient. swim got my 112 by going to meetings, working and just doing ordinary stuff. swim cant go back to inpatient swim starting school swim have a job my own apartment and swim doing well.

swimhad a court case today. Its really bugging swim because swim lawyer hasnt called me yet to let swim know the news. Im trying to turn it over to god but its hard so swim decided to share on this site because swim can be more open here than in an AA meeting. If the da sticks with his demands im either going to have to sacrafice everything i have and go back to inpatient or take the charges. If i take the charges im screwd job wise and if swim go back to inpatient i will be set back months. swim dont know how to deal with this. this is like a stuck point for me causing me alot of stress anxiety and fear. not good things to have in such early recovery


this post was massively edited due to rule violations.... by the way swim strongly advises most to avoid aa.. swim himself was damaged psychologically by aa

[moda00]

Sorry to hear about this.. swim has dealt with opiate addiction as well, and knows what an accomplishment it is to finally get sober. It sucks bad when something like this happens at the most inopportune of times. Just know that you are doing what you need to be doing for you, that while this is a shitty situation, it is not the end of the world and you can overcome it. It sucks, but would only be worse if one were still using, and believe me one can very quickly lose the life they have built by returning to the life they had left.. It's definitely worthwhile to journal, meditate, talk to people, get a sponsor- all sources of support and positive ways of addressing one's emotions are generally beneficial.

I really liked what MrG had to say to another member who was in a similar and frustrating legal situation recently- the machine is what it is, but it has enough power already. If you don't learn when to fight it- how to work it- when to participate in it, and instead simply surrender to it, you will lose the things that are important and all sense of freedom and dignity. So whatever you do, don't give up, on yourself or your sobriety. Try to make the best of it, keep track of your accomplishments and don't allow the legal system to fuck you over. Ultimately, it may not end ideally, but you have to fight for yourself, and have a lawyer who will too, as the system will not fight for you unless you work it. Then, do what has to be done, and realize that this too shall pass. Think of how great it feels to have self-reliance, a job, a home, sobriety. We can take that for granted sometimes but I am still amazed sometimes at the little (and big!) things gained after overcoming problem use and dependence. So if one has to compromise some of these things temporarily, know that it is temporary, and do what you can to get through it- sometimes all we can do is survive and wait things out, but until you have a conviction don't give up fighting your case! Best of luck.

Also, please use 'swim' to avoid self-incrim. You can't edit posts as a newbie, only once silver, but it is best to edit it yourself by copy/pasting into Word or notepad, and then PM the edited message to myself or another mod, or re-post the revised version in this thread.

[sweetsugar]

sorry to hear of your situation..

swims friend is going through something a little similar, he has been a herion user fro many years and has lost his family and is in process of getting his liofe back toigether and is currently clean. he was promised something he couldnt refuse (a while back) and was caught at an airport with 1k of coke, but strangley the amount of coke has gone down dramaticly while its where its kept when seized(?) he was then bailed after serving 9 months on remand. now while he's trying real hard to get his life back, they'll be a few things he''l need neeed to put on hold, and rehab he'll be doing ~ then the poor fellow awaites to see if he'll be in prison for god knows how long..

[cyndi]

What swiy will find is that life will not go away. He still has to atone for his mistakes while in addiction. However, the good news with a clear head swiy can handle things better and more responsible. Don't let that be an excuse for relapsing. Swim also knows you need to find a network of clean friends and a group to help swiy though it. Good luck man.

[thebige]

Hi sparechange,all in all it is just another pile of crap you have to step over........And don't beat yourself over all of this......some aspects of this problem are out of your control(what the courts decide etc)
some aspects of these problems are still under your control....useing,shoplifting,your home,job,the things you have achieved and the way you feel since you got clean.......
Swim sometimes has to go into a sort of survival mode,almost as if you were shipwrecked,lost in a jungle,natural disaster......
Swim takes stock in what he has to work with....and then makes contingency plans to cover the most likely outcome of the problems that could arise.
part of swims survival thinking includes the mental aspect of things.......how swim will deal mentally with the worst outcome of the situation,all the way to how he will deal with best outcome.
OK,you can knock down swims system if you choses to.......
But all that thought, planning,gathering of info etc can help keep your mind off of possible anxiety,fear of impending doom,etc.
It sounds like a tough spot that you are in,its how you are going to manage yourself,and the things you have control over...........that swim believes will help you pass through this,or pass over it.........


fuck.....I hate people that preach
swim hopes this doesn't sound like preaching.....

Hang tight.....things have a way of working themselves out........

20 years from now it will just be a blip on your life's radar.

bige.... standing by.....over....

[cyndi]

No swiy is not preaching at all. Swiy sounds wise. Swim is in a self blame, can't live without my baby even though he was 19, he is her baby. The way he was found is the reason swim can't sleep. All she sees is the lifeless body, blood and his brown eyes staring in the heavens. That is really deep for swim to deal with. Oh justification, there is a million you know, friends of course who were holding, numbing the pain which may not be a bad deal even though the drug is bad. Swim can't see this being a way of life but yeah she messed up. It happens. She is afraid of the next phase.

[ex-junkie]

well first of all, congratulations on staying sober with a court case hanging over your head. its fucking stressful.

what swim would suggest swiy does, is to start to get regular (weekly even) urine tests, so you can show the da swiy's been on the straight and narrow. in times like this, its extremely beneficial to have a third party back you up. whether it be church people, counsellor, employer (if they are aware only).

then request that the da settle for a continuation of weekly urine tests, and additional counselling. going to rehab is just going to do more harm than good at this point.

[Spare Chaynge]

Thanks for all the help. This thread was revived when I was in a self induced banning. Never had to go back to rehab. This incident was nearly a year ago. Swim now has 16 months.