Side effects - WTF happened to me?

[Swimmortal]

A man came to me in a dream with a plea for help. I'm afraid to go to sleep because I simply don't know what to tell him, so I came to DF for advice. Anyway, here's what he said. He sounds a lot like me, minus the smoking part. I would never do drugs, they're illegal and that would be wrong.

Originally Posted by the strange man in my dream

I've been smoking regularly (maybe once or more a day?) for about 2 years now, mostly because of chemo. The thing is, a few months ago I noticed a dramatic change in personality. I've completely introverted into this person who is constantly anxious and paranoid, and I've gradually lost all or most interpersonal skills I once had. My memory is fucked to say the least; sometimes I can't even distinguish whether something really happened or I just dreamed it. On top of that, I've realized my willpower is completely gone. Getting out of bed feels like climbing mount everest, studying for an exam always turns into a night of procrastination, and I've even gotten a lot dumber.

When it comes to my highs, I'm not the positive, talkative, laughing person I always was. I become completely quiet and severely paranoid. And my tolerance has gone down instead of up.

I know this just sounds like an emo rant, but I just want to know, is this shit permanent? I fucking hate the person I've become. I'm fucking up my life pretty damn quickly and losing my friends. (Or maybe it just feels like it because I'm paranoid, I don't even fucking know...)

I've cut down on weed significantly for the past 4 months, smoking around 2-3 bowls a week. Still, it feels like I'm either getting worse or not changing. Is there anything else I can do? I'd really appreciate any advice you've got.

Reputation Comments on this post:

Do not self-incriminate, do not disregard the Rules

[Jiggles]

try smoking different strains to see which one is best for SWIY. SWIM personally likes a a good bubblegum strain for his anxiety.

[Swimmortal]

Originally Posted by Jiggles

try smoking different strains to see which one is best for SWIY. SWIM personally likes a a good bubblegum strain for his anxiety.

Sorry for bumping up an old post, but SWIM just wanted to say White Rhino is amazing, it feels like his very first high. He gets talkative, laughs uncontrollably and just feels like a child (in a good way).

However, I told him that he must cut off the weed. He tells me he only does it in combination with other substances such as molly or shrooms, but has otherwise cut himself off completely from it.

[merecat]

Give it up completely for three months, It will allow the mind fog to lift. Then take it from there.

I'm afraid you are going to have to let go of he weed for this continuous amount of time - there are no shortcuts, although engaging in healthy eating (of course) and regular heart raising activity - fat burning exercise, will get the thc out of your body quicker.

You need to feel what it's like without the cannabis cloud. And what's the worst that can happen? If you hate soberness, then you can always go back to smoking.

SWIM is dealing with similar issues.

[stoneinfocus]

Yeah, same with swim, he cut down the dose and frequency and once or twice a months deosnßt seem to hurt in anyway.

Huge differeces with different hash and MJ-srtains.
Some very brown-oily and hard shit with an very dense structured piece he had made his mind clearer and relaxed him, while with grass he edges a psychedilic/psychotic high... maybe hash not grass is worth a shot, if swiy is on chemo (cancer?) therapy, maybe other substitutes for the condition can be found, like said before, maybe staying away for a given period of time is the best for swiy... I mean swim couldn´t complain to be being druken too often like 3x a week and then complain about it.
He´s like swiy, the tolerance is only going up slightly so hitting a bowl every night and working the next-day job routine really is possile and proved to be well working with swim, if this was what he wanted, but with college, he´d in his wildest dreams mabye smoke one-three times a week with some weeks pauses inbetween, or just the leaves of cannabis, which hardly is the high one gets form a bud... it´s a bit confusing as jsut a little too much might get him confused, and introspective and dumb, while other seem to tolerate much more and are clear headed, which is a kind of frustrtatign, so maybe swiy, is like swim, that a little too much messes us up big time.

[old hippie 56]

Would it be possible that the chemo is causing the change in your personality?

[Matt The Funk]

Take a break. Check yourself, before you wreck yourself. SWIM still applies, even if legal.

[cyndi]

Swim would say abstain if it is causing swiy that many problems. That way swiy could see if it is the weed or chemo that is causing the issues. If swiy is still using weed, even if a little bit, it would still cause issues if indeed weed is the cause. It could also be issues going on in swiy's life. If swiy needs chemo, it certainly could be. Hopefully swiy is getting some counseling. Swim wishes swiy the best.

[snapper]

SWIM was wondering what kind of chemo SWIY is on ? It could be medication related, esp if corticosteroids are involved. Otherwise, this can happen with too frequent use. Because THC has a long half life, it takes a while to build up in the bloodstream / tissues and takes time to wear off. In the end, stopping is the best way to test this theory.

[AddyCrazy]

SWIM would also recommend cutting down or stopping all together for a while. Like someone suggested before it could be chemo and a lot of times cancer can make one depressed and introverted(which is very understandable). The weed could possibly be dulling your emotions and you might not realize its partially or maybe mostly from the cancer or chemo.

[Swimmortal]

Originally Posted by Jiggles

The first thing that pops into SWIM's mind is the blonde joke about the blonde walking into the doctor and going "it hurts when i do this!" as she purposely contorts her elbow. If something is making you feel a way you don't want to feel, stop doing it! But aside from that, if stopping really isn't to be considered, try smoking different strains to see which one is best for SWIY. SWIM personally likes a a good bubblegum strain for his anxiety.

He's tried bubblegum for the past week now, it seems to be a little milder on him but he usually smoked this past week privately so he doesn't know if it affected his interpersonal skills or anything. He might consider quitting altogether, but he doesn't think a bowl or two a week is that bad either.

Originally Posted by merecat

Give it up completely for three months, It will allow the mind fog to lift. Then take it from there.

I'm afraid you are going to have to let go of he weed for this continuous amount of time - there are no shortcuts, although engaging in healthy eating (of course) and regular heart raising activity - fat burning exercise, will get the thc out of your body quicker.

You need to feel what it's like without the cannabis cloud. And what's the worst that can happen? If you hate soberness, then you can always go back to smoking.

SWIM is dealing with similar issues.

You're right. I think he needs to clear up his system a little, maybe shut off his supply for a couple of months and see how that goes.

Originally Posted by stoneinfocus

Yeah, same with swim, he cut down the dose and frequency and once or twice a months deosnßt seem to hurt in anyway.

Huge differeces with different hash and MJ-srtains.
Some very brown-oily and hard shit with an very dense structured piece he had made his mind clearer and relaxed him, while with grass he edges a psychedilic/psychotic high... maybe hash not grass is worth a shot, if swiy is on chemo (cancer?) therapy, maybe other substitutes for the condition can be found, like said before, maybe staying away for a given period of time is the best for swiy... I mean swim couldn´t complain to be being druken too often like 3x a week and then complain about it.
He´s like swiy, the tolerance is only going up slightly so hitting a bowl every night and working the next-day job routine really is possile and proved to be well working with swim, if this was what he wanted, but with college, he´d in his wildest dreams mabye smoke one-three times a week with some weeks pauses inbetween, or just the leaves of cannabis, which hardly is the high one gets form a bud... it´s a bit confusing as jsut a little too much might get him confused, and introspective and dumb, while other seem to tolerate much more and are clear headed, which is a kind of frustrtatign, so maybe swiy, is like swim, that a little too much messes us up big time.

I know what you mean, a bowl will give him a nice buzz but too much will often make him quiet and paranoid. Thanks for the insight.

Originally Posted by old hippie 56

Would it be possible that the chemo is causing the change in your personality?

I've thought of that as well actually, but the chemo's been over since end of August. Unless it permanently damaged him it's probably not the issue here.

Originally Posted by cyndi

Swim would say abstain if it is causing swiy that many problems. That way swiy could see if it is the weed or chemo that is causing the issues. If swiy is still using weed, even if a little bit, it would still cause issues if indeed weed is the cause. It could also be issues going on in swiy's life. If swiy needs chemo, it certainly could be. Hopefully swiy is getting some counseling. Swim wishes swiy the best.

He will try to abstain. And thank SWIY for the kind words for him.

Originally Posted by snapper

SWIM was wondering what kind of chemo SWIY is on ? It could be medication related, esp if corticosteroids are involved. Otherwise, this can happen with too frequent use. Because THC has a long half life, it takes a while to build up in the bloodstream / tissues and takes time to wear off. In the end, stopping is the best way to test this theory.

He was on ABVD for Hodgkin's Lymphoma, the drugs were adriamycin, bleomycin, vinblastine and dacarbazine.

Originally Posted by AddyCrazy

SWIM would also recommend cutting down or stopping all together for a while. Like someone suggested before it could be chemo and a lot of times cancer can make one depressed and introverted(which is very understandable). The weed could possibly be dulling your emotions and you might not realize its partially or maybe mostly from the cancer or chemo.

Maybe it's the combination of the two. I've never heard of anyone having a personality change from chemo and weed though, I mean wouldn't they report it? Hope he doesn't have an underlying mental illness in there...

[stoneinfocus]

It´s a very major change in swiy´s life and thus it will change your personality, or have an influence on it, but there´s something positive to everything.

Those chemotherapeutics aer very toxic-hey, they cill cells of living organisms, in this is their main job to do.

Be strong!All the best wishes from here!

stoneinfocus

[snapper]

SWIM was thinking more along the lines of prednisone since people get really weird on that. Adria usually just makes people really sick (called red death by many in the oncology biz). The others are also more known for sickness / nausea and all are immunosuppressive. However, who knows how they interact THC, much less when factored in with the benadryl injections and other stuff they give during administration of the drugs and for the aftereffects.
SWIM felt a similar way when using lots of weed at a turbulent period of his life along with lots of psychedelics. SWIM stopped for a long while and it improved. SWIM thinks weed can amplify good as well as bad feelings and may be reflecting a phase (most likely a bad one from SWIY's diagnosis) SWIY is going through. THis may may make it a poor choice for the moment. Slowing down usage after an initial period of abstinence may also change things.
Good luck - cancer sucks but fighting through it instead of giving up can make all the difference. Keep optomistic and good luck!

[Swimmortal]

Originally Posted by snapper

SWIM was thinking more along the lines of prednisone since people get really weird on that. Adria usually just makes people really sick (called red death by many in the oncology biz). The others are also more known for sickness / nausea and all are immunosuppressive. However, who knows how they interact THC, much less when factored in with the benadryl injections and other stuff they give during administration of the drugs and for the aftereffects.
SWIM felt a similar way when using lots of weed at a turbulent period of his life along with lots of psychedelics. SWIM stopped for a long while and it improved. SWIM thinks weed can amplify good as well as bad feelings and may be reflecting a phase (most likely a bad one from SWIY's diagnosis) SWIY is going through. THis may may make it a poor choice for the moment. Slowing down usage after an initial period of abstinence may also change things.
Good luck - cancer sucks but fighting through it instead of giving up can make all the difference. Keep optomistic and good luck!

Thanks, he told me he's cured btw

Oh and shit I just remembered, he took like 3gs of shrooms last fall, do SWIY think one trip is enough to fuck one's mind up?

[Swimmortal]

Originally Posted by snapper

SWIM was thinking more along the lines of prednisone since people get really weird on that. Adria usually just makes people really sick (called red death by many in the oncology biz). The others are also more known for sickness / nausea and all are immunosuppressive. However, who knows how they interact THC, much less when factored in with the benadryl injections and other stuff they give during administration of the drugs and for the aftereffects.
SWIM felt a similar way when using lots of weed at a turbulent period of his life along with lots of psychedelics. SWIM stopped for a long while and it improved. SWIM thinks weed can amplify good as well as bad feelings and may be reflecting a phase (most likely a bad one from SWIY's diagnosis) SWIY is going through. THis may may make it a poor choice for the moment. Slowing down usage after an initial period of abstinence may also change things.
Good luck - cancer sucks but fighting through it instead of giving up can make all the difference. Keep optomistic and good luck!

For sure. If weed is that harmful to his personality then he doesn't need the fucker. SWIM will just stick to DMT.

[snapper]

SWIM doubts the shrooms have anything to do with it. Back off the weed, see if things fall back into place, then decide what to do after you figure out if it is even the problem.
Good luck and congrats on the remission!

[AddyCrazy]

SWIM WOULD NOT use DMT it is one of the most powerful psychadelics naturally occuring and altogether too. If you do use any hallucinogens be prepared for a probably stressful trip but it may also change your whole perspective on life. If you have a club or something for marijuana I would ask them for their strongest sativa or maybe the most clearheaded high. Also try hashish because it seems a lot more clearheaded to SWIM than straight marijuana same with kief which is pretty much hashish. Also you could try edibles because those seem to not affect ones cognitive abilities as much but still gives you quite the body high and make SWIM giggle for hours literally. Congrats on being cured too!

[stoneinfocus]

the problem with THC/canabis is, that it accumulates very quickly.So if one had problems, than probably because of this and a low tolerance to THC/CBD etc. .

Swim toked onced after nearly 10 years of abstinence and while facing problems with even 1-2joints he met an old pal and he toked like crazy and for sure the first 2 joint didn´t hurt, but he should have stopped then, as it was gettin´ more later that evening.

Don´ßt know about DXM but shrooms might not hurt... if one´s seeking a psychedelic high, why stick with cannabis, get a real trip and for some swimmers no "reefer´s madness" as defined in this thread, so to say.

Swim thought you were taking it against the sides of the chemo, anyways, so if you feel it hurts in this situation swiy´s in, one more reason to get off, or cut down the use.

[burgerman]

good luck

swim is off for 3 weeks and intending 40 days break, and its been good for swim so far. swim's brain still hurts when he thinks of puzzles and brainteaser stuff though - but thats probobly years of binge drinking

[Ididnotinhale]

Often those who have been through chemo or other long hospital stays will cause some post traumatic stress disorder. Swim was in the hospital for a long time and it was very traumatizing, afterwards he was very scared, introverted, and just felt like he couldn't really get his thoughts out, which made him slightly embarrassed and even more embarrassed.

Swim would strongly suggest starting to see a psychiatrist, this helped swim a lot. Additionally, an ssri may help bring out the you in you. Suprisingly when swim was put on an ssri he found that he felt more comfortable socially, felt tons better, and felt like it was easier to get out of bed.

Benzodiazepines may be helpful, but be warry studies have found that they can impede the healing your brain is likely doing. S