Journal - Saying goodbye to methaphetamine

[cyndi]

Congrats on the year!! That is quite an accomplishment. Swim almost made it to a year, then relapsed so it is back uphill for swim again. She hopes next year she can say the same.

[jduba]

I am so GLAD I decided to log on after so long and read this. Paco you are right! If you re read my post I just talk of all the crazy things that go on and become normal in a tweakers life. I had spent so many nights and days posting on this board and that was a way for me to say goodbye. I shared all my other drug tales so why not my goodbye? It wasnt a "look at me" post it was meant to be real, scary, and therapeutic for me. Thanks to those who gave positive feedback cause YES it does feel good but I think you may have missed the intent of the post. It then evolved and I could not be happier about the way it did cause it shows both users and addicts WE ARENT ALONE AND THERE IS HOPE.



P.S. I am a ICE free man since 05'!

[lovelyuy]

Isn't it odd how we can blow good soberity on a whim? I guess what matters is to stay clean today and as long as we can. All is not lost unless one commits suicide. Then it is truely over. Oh the problem is the cravings are huge and the using people are calling again so swim has to fight those things to stay sober which she must to pay bills, etc.

J-Dub as in my son? Or someone else.

Edited to add later, this is a crock, she will die without help. The addiction has gotten so bad she has lost a lot of her self, mind, soul. sick of herself for letting this happen, wants to just end it but wont, She is getting worse each day. Will go in rehab Tues.

Glad that swiy had decide to quit the addiction. Swim too suffer a relapsed before, life was worst than the previous one. till one day swim had realize he had miss so much of his time spending on drug, accept and face the fact that he can't save his marriage and calm down and think what to do to put swim's life back on track. Learn to love yourself so in future swiy wun commit again.

[jduba]

Lovelyuy Thanks love to hear inspiration

[lovelyuy]

The depression come from meth is scary especially when u start to isolate yourself from friends and keep everything to yourself and those confident that u put on in front of everyone were fake.

Most people when feeling sad or moody tends to rely on drug or alcohol to get over the pain, sad to say eventually it make everyone get deeper and deeper into the hole.

Hope everyone when feeling moody, share your unhappiness to your close friend or family, if no friends and family that you can't share with, you still have DF to share with

[Regaining_My_Soul]

if this is the stuff people go through with a having a METH addiction, then the hell with it, I AM NOT ABOUT TO GET INVOLVED WITH THIS GARBAGE.

AMEN!

[funkateer]

Congrats on the cleanliness my friend

[thefish420]

I wonder how your doing man, would love to hear how things are going

[ex-junkie]

wahey keep that positive attitude a gwarn, cause thats what will help you to get through this next journey!

oh, open swiy's blinds up! maybe not at first, but when swiy wakes up from the slumber period, swiy will need the sunlight.

sunlight is very healing and has many positive affects on your mood and motivation. after all, eventually swiy is going to have to clean all the sticky bits up around the house. trust, swiy wont wanna do shit with the blinds down.

[dogzz]

Hey Cyndi,.....almost makin it a year is an accomplishment in itself,.....Like Johndough said,.."it aint nuttin but a thing". Swim has more years of failed attempts at quitting than most of the kids here have been alive. It's all a learning experience if you always choose to grow,....to take a grain of experience and knowledge to make it a bit further the next time if not finally getting it totally right.
After bein a slave to meth for 35 freakin years,.....and a ton of self doubts and feelings of failure and worthlessness,.......Swim found himself to be in a position to help others who have been whipped and beaten down by meths incessant BS freakin grip. The one thing that really seems to help meth addicts recover the most is giving back!. Sharing experiences,.....lettin those going thru tough moments know they aren't alone in what they are feeling. For the first couple years,...Swim was/is so greatfull for those who kept telling him it would get better. Swim had a one bag relapse ON his 366th clean day. HA! what a way to celebrate eh?? So is swim coming up on his 4 year clean date? or his 5 year clean date with an extremely valuable lesson learned on day 366?? That "almost" year was not in vain Cyndi,....Every other person who was meth's bi tch knows ya done good,.....
Swim is wondering how JDub is doin nowadays as well,....and congrats to those of you who have gotten clean,.....and to those who have chosen to never start using ,.....and to those still in the battle,.....find what works for you,....never quit trying and KNOW that it does get easier, it does get better.
Aint it amazing how much easier life is with legal drivers licenses,...insurance,....the bills paid,.........Though at times it feels a bit lonely without the company of all the shadow people. guess they moved on hehehe.

Reputation Comments on this post:

Always sage advice. Thank you

[cyndi]

Isn't it odd how we can blow good soberity on a whim? I guess what matters is to stay clean today and as long as we can. All is not lost unless one commits suicide. Then it is truely over. Oh the problem is the cravings are huge and the using people are calling again so swim has to fight those things to stay sober which she must to pay bills, etc.

J-Dub as in my son? Or someone else.

Edited to add later, this is a crock, she will die without help. The addiction has gotten so bad she has lost a lot of her self, mind, soul. sick of herself for letting this happen, wants to just end it but wont, She is getting worse each day. Will go in rehab Tues.