I need help and advice on cocaine/polydrug addicted cousin!!

[IOFILE]

Ok. So I've been browsing this forum for a while because I feel that it has a wealth of information and provides more than enough sources of knowledge for me to make educated decisions. While not having actively posted here, I've been one of those shadows lurking among threads to steal everyone's 2 cents. Thanks for all that.


But on to something more serious. This is a very long post, I am aware, but I have a real family crisis concerning my cousin and I really need advice. I've been reading up on the cocaine and heroin forums to try to understand more about his situation. Personally, my drug experience has traveled no farther than pot and some mild psychedelics thus far, so I am no stranger to altered consciousness, but I have no empathy for harder drug users. That is probably the primary reason that I am posting this. My cousin started smoking weed around 10 and progressed tococaine anywhere from around 14-17 with who knows what inbetween. I can't exactly say that he's ever been the most honest with anyone so details are sketchy. At 18, my aunt realized he had a serious drug problem and sent him off to rehab. He resented it and it did nothing. He basically lived at his parents' house for a while and then moved to seattle with a friend from high school who became his girlfriend. I suppose they were friends because she was also part of the same crowd, but apparently she stopped using, most likely because of the effects she's seen it have on some people. His best friend died sometime ago from an overdose of mainlined cocaine. After that (and perhaps before too), he has claimed to be clean for years butnone of us can be sure. He's never able to get a job, and the one that he did he got fired from because he "did it to well." For years, he just sits lethargically at home wasting away, never contributing to rent and swindling money out of his parents to live. Recently, his girlfriend got fed up with him and told him he had to get out, and he responded violently, trashing the apartment. While she hasn't seen him using, she thinks he probably still is.


I've read lots of accounts on the forum where at least people try to accept help. I mean... an addiction is hard to break but he won't even accept us and simply resents all attempts of aid. He fluxuates sporadically between violence, lethargy, and depression. Jen (his girlfriend) also thinks he might have suicidal tendancies.


Please. I guess I'm looking for any help available. I know most people who use blow on this forum do so responsibly, or at least if not, can function while managing an addiction at some level. At the very worst, they seem to seek for help from others, or acknowledge that their life is in a downward spiral because of it. I think pure cocaine is too expensive for him, so if anything, he probably waste's his parents' money on crack. He's never admitted to using heroine, but with some of his actions, which seem sometimes like withdrawel symptoms, and with the drug exposure he's had over the years(including mainlining coke and having friends die because of ODs), and with his addictive personality, I would say that it sounds like he's probalby done everything under the sky. Could some of his lethargy, depression, and violence be more of a product of heroine use than crack or blow. I feel that it is probably important to know what he is using in order to help him. I doubt he uses meth, other amphetamines, or psychedelics, but I really wouldn't know. I mean, could he really be that f**ked up off of just coke?


Have any of you been in this position, or know people who have. What did you do? He resents us, and refuses to listen to reason. I've read plenty of posts here where people who are hardcore addicts can't face ordinary people because they feel like they are being looked down upon or judged. I suppose that is right to a certain extent, even on a subconscious level. Nonetheless... we need to get to him some how. I realize our logical step to try and help him is out of a mindset that is far removed from his. But what can we do if he will not listen to logic?


Well, I suppose this has been quite emotional for me and I babbled on a bit too long, but in summary, any help, empathetic stories/advice, and speculation on what he is using would be invaluable to us right now. At this point, you probably know him as well as I do; it's pretty hard to getclose to him when he acts the wayhe does.I hate to see a case where a gift is turned into a curse. I think my aunt is planning an intervention, perhaps followed by rehab. Is this wise or just a waste of money. Thanks for spending the time to read all of this and thank you for your consideration. This forum is a godsend.


- Warren

[AlaskanMan]

I have a sister that showed the same tendencys, she is still a little junky at 34. I think the biggest problem is people that enable this kind of behavior ( My Mom) As cliche as it may sound this guy needs to realize his life is going nowhere. Does he have any kind of hobbies, that is what cut my coke usage down to a bare minimum, I have a classic truck and it got to the point I realized I was putting what could have been a show stopper up my nose. Hate myself to this day.


Dont know if this helps or even makes any sense, just trying to show some support and let you know others DO care


Tom


PS welcome to the board, this place is really good and you will find some caring souls.

[IOFILE]

Hey alaskaman, thanks a lot! It is very comforting to know that people care, and with the constructiveatmosphere around here, I feel that there might be hope. brokenarrow_48, thanks for dropping me that message. To be honest, I think you got it actually.


brokenarrow_48 told me the side effects of meth, and after reviewing it, I think this might be my cousin's drug of choice. He tends to exhibit at least half of the long list of symptoms, and since he has such little money, its price is probably pretty enticing to him. The part about dillusions of grandeur is completely correct. Even with his current condition, he's stated that he wants to become a computer scientist and study for real professional goals.


What should we do though? Meth can take over people completely, no? Is there any way we can get to him? Thanks again for such concern... one day aftermy post I can't believe I got all of this help. I hope you all know how invaluable this is to me.


- Warren

Yes, it is possible that he's mainly doing coke and this is how he reacts to it. Is there anyone that can get close? It's hard to really see the situation as is, because the stakes are high. It seems as your aunt is on the right track. Check out the drugnews forum. There is a newsitem there about a one shot treatment. Try to find more on this. Maybe it is possible to get him into the project. All in all it is a shitty situation and I hope that it gets a little better in time. I am very curious for the opinions of Freeyayo and Hollywood.

[str8ballin]

IOFILE


I can tell you exactly what your cousin is going through because I,myself am going through the same shit right now with coke.I havent had a job in 6 months,and the last job I had I got everybody hooked on it including my managers.It was the perfect job.I was delivering pizzas and getting high everyday while on the job.We would make "fake" orders and pocket the money to buy some coke.Now it's 6 months later and everybody has gotten fired.I've been through 5 jobs this yearso its hard to keep a job when all you think about doing is sitting at home and doing coke.


Coke will make you steal,lie,cheat and make the most respectable people throw their life away.You said he fluxuates between lethargy,depression,and violence.Coke will make you very depressed when you dont have any,and depression leads to violence.You can tell when he's been doing coke,he'll be kinda quiet and aggitated,and will snap at the least bit things you say.This is when he's coming down.


I,too also lost my girlfriend do to coke and am now living back with my parents.I used to sit at homeand do/sell coke all day to support my habbit.Even though your cousin doesnt have a job doesnt mean he's not getting money someway or another.He could either bedealing or stealing.I just seen a friend of mine go away to prison cuz he was dealing it.He was in and out of rehab twice and that did nothing to him.That was a real wake up call.It made me cut back alot more than what I was doing.


I really dont see myself quitting anytime soon and I bet your cousin feels the same way I do.The best thing to do is talk to him about it and try to understand where he's coming from.He has to identify he has a problem before anybody can help him out.He probably feels he's all alone right now after losing his gf and moving away and the only way to get his mind off shit is to turn to coke.Thats how I felt after I lost my gf,I did coke every single day during the summer just so I didnt have to think about things.


Now,I am able to control myself better.I'm about to get back with my girlfriend and she is the reason why I'm trying to kick the habbit.Your cousin just needs to find something or someone that he loves so much to take his mind off coke.If you have anymore questions you can pm me and I'd be happy to answer them for ya.


fy

[str8ballin]

If somebody calls in an order,we just make the pizza and not ring it up.So when they come to pick it up or I deliver it,I take their money and put it in my pocket.We had the managers,the cooks,and all the delivery drivers all in on it.Im telling you we had that place on lockdown.Best job I've ever had in my life.I was making so much money by just being a pizza delivery guy.With all my tips and all the money we were scamming,it was crazy.It's not something Im proud of,it's just something coke will do to you.

[IOFILE]

Hey guys. I just wanted to thank everyone for they're input. Sorry I haven't getten to say anything for a while but we were busy trying to plan this intervention thing. Sadly, I can't be there because of college work but I hope things go smoothly. I'll letyou know, but to be honest, I'm kinda pesimistic.





- Warren

[mhy003]

Just watch requim for a dream and it'll quit any drug addiction cold turkey. It scared the crap outta me that it wasnt even funny.... I wont be doing blow for a while....

[Woodman]

IOFILE,



If your cousin is going to quit, he needs to come to that determination of his own volition.



You may need to exercise tough love with your cousin. You can't allow him access to any generosity reserved exclusively for your family because he is susceptible to exploiting that privilege to feed his addiction.



Wait until he voluntarily seeks recovery. In the meantime, consult with other family members to develop a progressive schedule that will allow him back into the fold of your family as he recovers. Better yet, consult a professional on how to go about it.



Your appreciation for this forum is warmly received, but please be aware that there are one or two people who will respond to posts such as yours for no other reason than for the sake of trying to appear knowledgeable (I don't know why other than to exercise a warped sense of self-importance).



Use your best discretion, select wisely, and consult outside sources (especially professionals) to confirm any decisions.

[str8ballin]

Originally Posted by mhy003 on 28 January 2004

Just watch requim for a dream and it'll quit any drug addiction cold turkey. It scared the crap outta me that it wasnt even funny.... I wont be doing blow for a while....

I wish I could just watch a movie and it would cure my addiction.Thats totally absurd man,get real and dont believe everything you see in the movies.

[Guilt]

True freeyayo, trust me, being scared won't cure addiction.

I think daily to myself that I am goin to die. I went to the ER ALMOST twice 3 weeks ago, I have low potassium (which helps the heart to beat, or keep a steady beat? somthing like that), I have a heart condition which causes an irregular heart beat, I have asthma, malnutrition (because i eat 2 times, 3 times a week if I am lucky) and continue to use.

Ifthis shit is less scary than a movie than you're mindset is f**ked up and you shouldn't touch any thing that's goign to effect your sense of judgment except some medication perscribed that will allow your neurotransmitters to work better and give you more of a clear perspective of everything. No offense.

aperson needs to be in great pain before he will get clean! Let him hit bottom or raise his bottom by section 35-ing him(mass law)