In need of help with addiction to methamphetamine, cocaine and other drugs.

[cyndi]

Swim will give some background on herself basically. She has been addicted from coke-meth-all kinds of pills and after thinking she hit a bottom, went into recovery several years ago. Well about a year ago the insanity starts again ever larger than before. Swim was on so many pills and smoking meth on top of that, she lost it totally. She went to rehab again in Sept. and things went well till recently. First the job loss is taking it's toll on her mentally. It is harder than she thought to get another one. Yep the dope caused her to lose her job. Then she has a teen son in full blown addiction that is in jail all the time. If that isn't bad enough, her youngest son just got kicked out of school for some stupid stuff. The marriage really falling apart. Swim isn't seeing a bright side right now and really really wants to use. It is totally wacked and she doesn't get it considering what hell she went through. Is she just stupid ,a hard learner or what?

[moda00]

Am sorry to hear things are so rough. Swim has struggled with similar addiction issues, and while she now knows that things do indeed get better internally (stability, emotional state, etc.) with continued sobriety, sobriety is no guarantee of other things going well in life and the temptation to use never completely ceases.. If it is any help, we have to know the "darkness" to appreciate the "light," and things will get better eventually.. it's a cycle of sorts.. but she knows firsthand how hard it is to stay sober when faced with such obstacles.. it gets easier, but that immediate solution to any and everything becomes so ingrained through addiction that she doubts it will ever entirely disappear.. she has found that for herself, a huge part of recovery was not only abstaining from her drug of choice (heroin) but learning completely new patterns of emotional processing and behaviors.. she has had a long period (for her) of sobriety, and of course she has struggled and relapsed.. that's part of this whole thing.. but now more than ever, it is so important to have things that can replace what the drugs did for you- volunteer work, physical exercise, hobbies, friendships and sources of support and unconditional love can hopefully get you through this and serve the same purposes the drugs once did (sense of purpose, sense of belonging, comfort, stability/consistency- whatever it is.. or all of the above..) Also, swim has found that natural ways of doing what the drugs did on a physiological or neurological level- not substituting one drug for another, but learning to feel good from within one's own body- physical exercise, meditation, stretching, etc. I know this may sound overly simplistic and even ridiculous in the face of what you are going through, but what seem like huge and insurmountable obstacles can be best overcome in small and strategic steps. Wishig you peace in this difficult time- feel free to ask for whatever support you may need!!

Edit for spelling. Also: Don't blame yourself! Addiction is not a choice and swim knows that she is stronger for having struggled through it.. keep up the struggle.

Reputation Comments on this post:

	Great advice and help :)
	excellent post TR

[cyndi]

Thanks Moda, swim had a long period of sobriety years ago but didn't seem she had all the problems facing her now. She also had a lot of sober friends then and now with the new sobriety, well none. It seems all swim's issues hit in a very small time period with a jerk of a husband hounding her on top of all of that. Swim supposes this is just life and trying to deal with it without taking a pill or hitting a pipe. Which really makes stuff worse in the end. Good suggestions, swim will look into some of them.

[Metomni]

Everything SWIM could say was just said, just wanted to say good luck in SWIY's battle. SWIM has no children or husband, he can only imagine what SWIY must be going through. Just remember, the real tough times are when it's important to stay sober when fighting addiction.

Good luck.

[cyndi]

Those are very wise words too. During tough times, what makes things work, getting high of course. That is when addiction becomes illogical, cunning, and baffling. Swim's issue is that she can't be around any speed type of drugs, well she has an add son who was on meds. She is taking him off due to issues with the meds. But that bottle of vyvanse is calling her name, actually called it. Swim should throw it away but justifies that the kid may need it blah blah blah. What does she do? Toss it and hope the teachers won't insist he be on meds then spend a small fortune for the stupid pills? A pickle this is.

[Metomni]

SWIY could go get their child's script changed to an ADD medication that they would not crave as much.

SWIM was on Strattera(sp?) for a while, and while it did not help him very much with his attention, it is supposed to be really helpful for some. Also, it's not an upper so SWIY would have no urge or motivation to take it.

There are also probably other medications for ADD out there similar to Strattera, with the outcry against Ritalin and Adderall and such, more and more of these alternative medicines will probably continue to pop up.

Reputation Comments on this post:

Thank you for good suggestions TR