My Addiction & recovery story (opiates)

[OpiateWarrior]

Well this thread is for all the people who have survived addiction to any drug. Please post using swim and without your sources, what helped, what substances were used by swiy, how it was and how your are now. Hopefully we can make something that helps addicts and if they find getting clean easy-er because of this. Then we helped. All that pain brings knowledge, hopefully.

[OpiateWarrior]

Well swim might as well start, swim is not at recovery yet and is still taking 100ml methadone. Swim hates methadone as it only maintains addiction rather than freeing from it. So plans this time are that, when swim cuts down enough he is gonna try kratom as methadone replacement. Also gonna give Iboga a try as somethings gotta work this time, swim has been using H for 11 yrs. 10 yrs on and off methadone so hopefully this time he will do it? Basically cos he's finally grown out of wanting to use so he just needs to get free from being ill without opiate/opoide. Also he has the doctors offering help with benzos like diazepam, because they know how he was last time after moving home from 6yrs in Spain and 3.4 yrs on Spanish methadone. Ow so f-ing ill, but he can brake through that. Its just after, the depression and nervousness takes over. Even though swim is a very confident person, its lasts for months on end and is a real drain. Every morning, waking and feeling the world is a horrible place, when he loves life and not wanting to see/speak to anyone. Even just thinking about it, brings butterflies in his stomach. Well this has been life for swim, since being addicted to opiates. Although swim has confidence that this is the time he's gonna get his life back, and is gonna catch up the 11yrs life he's lost. Spending more time with his son, and working to get a nice house and a class motor. Hope you all add your experiences to this thread, and swim will keep you all updated how its going in his lil world, especially what helped him to brake free(hopefully) from using.

[Williams]

Hi,

I am Kevin from Washington. I read your article, itis very useful to me. I want to share my opinion with you.

------------------------------------------------
Kevin Williams

Comprehensive resources for those looking for recovery from addiction. <a href="http://www.**********************">ht...ecovery.net</a>

[UNIBLACK810]

Both addiction and recovery are topics one could inevitably go on forever about. Wether it be from personal experience or from the association of addicted persons you began to get first hand experience. But noone but the actual addict can ever tell you the story and make you feel the actual sickness depression self pity and general loss of intrest in life that we have had to deal with as long as we have been(and even afterwards) actively addicted. SWIM's personal journey was a long one and still continues to be. Even while SWIM has managed to free himself from the physical addiction of cocaine and heroin for 2 years now the mental addiction still persist's for SWIM and seem's to be a much harder aspect of the recovery than the physical. SWIM has become afraid that the 15 years of damage SWIM has done to his body VIA narcotics has done irreversible damage. As addicts we are used to instant gratifaction, which is probably the reason so many fail rehab. SWIY or me checks into rehab for 30 days and expect to get out and everythng is going to be fine now. Not the case as how can you expect to fix years of damage in just a few weeks or months for that matter. The initial feeling is very uncomfortable and even after 2 years clean SWIM still feels uncomfortable in his own skin. SWIM just craves a feeling of normalcy which still doesnt seem in reach. SWIM hasnt felt normal since stopping opiates. Swim only remembers feeling normal during and before addiction. SWIM constantly looks for answers to this problem but still has'nt found any that has any promise so far. SWIM constantly thinks about returning to active addiction just to feel that "normal feeling" but has more sense to know that it will not stop there. It took SWIM years to get to the point where he is and realizes that although it still continues to feel like hell 6 days a week on average. Going back well definetly take SWIM out of the frying pan and back into the fire. SWIM holds on each day hoping for one more miracle. Just maybe.................. I'm still waiting.

Reputation Comments on this post:

again again again