Experiences - Terrifyingly Bad Trip, My Own Fault (Mushrooms and Bipolar Disorder)

[ManicFishkeeper]

Hey guys... I'm not sure where else to discuss this and I stumbled across this forum.

First off I"ll say that I certainly am not new to shrooms. Secondly, I'm extremely bi-polar and unmedicated.

For those of you who don't know, this disorder can really throw your mental state off kilter, paranoia, mood swings, all the things you are afraid of in your ex girlfriend.

Anyway, about 6 weeks ago I bought a few ounces of dried shroom for 4 of us. I dusted em by running them through the ol coffee grinder and capped em all in 450mg gel caps. Long story short, 3 friends did about 15 capsules.. I did 30...

I don't know what the hell happened to me... My only guess is that I had a manic episode going in to the high, and it launched me into the single most terrifying experience I have ever been a part of. It started off ok.. but 3 hours in... Everything got.. well.. weird...

I got paranoid.... And I don't mean like.. shh was that a cop paranoid... I mean my heart was pounding so hard you could see my shirt moving... My adrenaline kicked up.. I started pacing.. and thrashing about... I thought my friends were dying.. I thought I was dying... I was out of my mind.

Thankfully one of my buddies was ramping up very slowly... And was able to keep me restrained, and from completely losing it... And, the little bugger kept me conscious. I stopped breathing at one point and he had to tell me to breathe as I turned blue. Thankfully that only lasted about 30 minutes...

The hallucinations started kicking in at that point and coupled withte paranoia had me so scared I was a gibbering idiot. I got into a fight with my toilet bowl (I was dry heaving) and broke my hand and sprained my wrist... My basement suite twisted on me.. like I was in a fun house.. and threw me off balance... then it twisted the other way and I ran out of the house screaming.

I sat outside in the freezing rain with myface in my hands because I couldn't look at the stars. The stars were fizzling out.. and popping.. and I could actually HEAR them. The sky was alive with activity and it was simply too much... I was overloaded... My buddy found me outside before I stuck my head into the wheelbarrow that was full of water (I was trying to clear my head apparently, I don't really remember).

2 more hours go by of this intense experience... They almost dragged me to the hospital.... It was horrible...

After another hour we were interupted by several friends stopping in.. and that just pulled me out of the ether... I was HIIIIIGH as hell though.. I hallucinated for another 14 hours.. although at the endit was very subtle...

It was the most terrifying experience of my life.... So much so that I"m really afraid to do mushrooms again. I probably will.. but I'm going to need to think very carefully about how much, and when I am doing them (in relation to my manic cycle).

Have you guys ever had something like that? I'm just curious... I mean this has really been life altering for me...

Oh and just so you know... the 30 pills.. was pretty damn close to 14 grams dry.

Dumb... dumb... dumb...

[D.U.M.B]

Well I don't know what to say.

I think it was your own fault as you said, really all I can say is in the future do a smaller dose.

[HippieD9]

This is a perfect example of why people with mental issues should not be taking psychedelic drugs!





D.

[ManicFishkeeper]

Originally Posted by HippieD9

This is a perfect example of why people with mental issues should not be taking psychedelic drugs!

I couldn't agree more... I was simply shocked at how much my mental state had affected the direction of the trip. It really steered meinto this strangedangerous mental state. I have never taken as many as 14 grams before either.. But taking 7-10 grams isnt unheard of for me.


This is definately one of those.. "I've learned my lesson" things... and I'll have to be more aware of my mental state before indulging again.

[jatzstoned]

yea, thats why they say things such as dont do acid if you have multiple personalities, or your psyche will crumble like pieces of a puzzle

[WhiteRyan]

I havent personally flipped out on mushrooms, didnt think it was possible. And I am diagnosed as bi-polar, massive amounts of the fungistill yeilded pleasurable, and extremely giggly trips.


Guess it goes person to person. Or the species of mushrooms you used could of had something to do with it

[blue jammer]

Sounds very scary, but to think you'd even consider doing it again, at smaller amounts puzzles me somewhat.

I did 2-ct-7 the other night, and didn't like a lot of the effects that I felt with it, and so won't ever do that again.

I'd say, only indulge in the things that make you feel good, and just be very wary of amounts.

We're not here for a long time, so enjoy what you can while you can, and be safe

[fiftyseven]

sounds shitty, reminds me of the manic/psicotic episode i had a while ago, it was deffinatly not drug related though. i was walking along a path in a forrest and i could not go any further because i realized that i was surrounded by the leaves on the ground, i leap on to a rock and stayed there because i thought that if i tried to walk on the leaves i would fall through them and not ever return. i stayed there for the better part of the evening and into the night, to terrified to move. my girl-friend finaly found me and brought me a glass of water. i literaly ran to my house about a mile away and did not go out side for a week. im deffinatly less crazy now, that was only due to insomnia and migraines

[dmax]

Some of those effects seem desirable to me... most drugs don't affect
me very hard, but that sounded cool. Except, of course, for the
paranoia. An experience that powerful in a positive direction
would have been truly awe inspiring, I think.

[GDxCAT]

Myabe im wrong but i think even with you manic depression you would
have been fine had you stuck to 3.5 grams like most of us do.



Personally i think the majority of people would completely flip out on 14g. Ive lost my mind on 2.5 before.

My only advise is dont be so reckless with your doseing next time.

peace.

[Muirner]

Originally Posted by ManicFishkeeper

I stopped breathing at one point and he had to tell me to breathe as I turned blue. Thankfully that only lasted about 30 minutes...

You had mulitpal times where you would stop breathing and start to turn blue? i think this might be a bad thing and if this ever happened to me i woulda called 911 and had them pick me up down the street. if you turned blue for 30 minutes, then i think this is highly unlikely, because if you were any shade of blue for longer then a few minutes then major brain damage would occur due to lack of oxygen in your brain.


Muirner

[bubaloo]

shit, that sounds bad, i had "the fear", on shrooms, but that sounds, bad....

[billbong]

Any dose above 7g is heroic or idiotic depending on the person, set, setting ect,. I think ppl should be extra carful with doseage. like a 7g trip won't be 3-4 times more intense than a 2g, i find them to be in a TOTALLY different league.

[butter]

anything over 3.5 is pushin it especially if their damn good. Their is no need to be over doing it with these babies. The worst thing that could happen is that they will kill you. A high where you won't come back. Stick to low doses and eat them in their original form.

[GDxCAT]

butter dont spread mis information.



Mushrooms will not kill you in high doses or drive you insane (unless
you were insane to begin with than it will bring out underlying
conditions.)



If you show evidence of anyone dying from mushrooms directly i will retract my statement otherwise this is complete bullshit.



peace

[hellion]

I've had a similar experience ... the first time I took acid ....

Everything was amazing for the first 2-3 hourse, but after that it was insane. I started panicing and walking around the house while everyone was asleep. Suddenly I was seeing scenes from the gladiator in the dark space. It felt as if I was part of it. I would be responsible for the destruction of the entire world unless I run 7000km in 21 seconds. (I remember the numbers precisely) So I started to run around the house and I hit the wall, and fall down. Then I started hearing a countdown, and suddenly I, myself were THE universe, and I couldn't handle i, so I died ....

The next morning I woke up with my forehead bleeding (probably from hitting the wall)

In such cases all you need to hear is "Dude, this is all in your mind; you're forgetting that you're in charge here"

That was definitely a HORRIBLE trip but I did acid again, and at this point it is my favourite drug.

[cactus]

i always keep a valium handy incase of this sort of emergency. i really like to do around the 5 gram mark, theres nothing like it. But along with this, every so often you have something upset your trip and you need to pull the handbrake on.


With bi polar psychedelics are a no no, and it usually falls back on your mates to pick up the pieces when they are tipping balls too.

[Oi Mush]

There's always other people to consider if you're not completely sure that you cankeep it together. I worried my friends a while ago when I was taking increasing doses of mushrooms to relive an intense moment whilst using some mushrooms from the Phillipines.
I've never experienced a panic attack (which is common when using psychedelics...and most probably what you experienced.) But if you can't see the signals of one approaching (which is hard when your brain is being bombarded) then it will just get worse. My advice is use lower doses, (if any) and train yourself to look for signals of an approaching attack, that way you can take measures to stay calm before anything escalates.
After a long relationship I went on a kind of psychedelic quest (if you like.) I had an experience (although very fleeting) of shooting down a tunnel and flying off into space. I was surrounded by stars, colourful gases...in fact it was the most beautiful sight I've witnessed, I felt as though I was part of the very fabric of the universe, and I was communicating with a billion minds at once. I was told without words...it was as if the information was being directly fed to my head, that consciousnessexists outside space-time and rests in a dimension that has not yet been equated...yikes.
After this intense enlightenment I was taking increasing doses, and the experiences became very stressful for my body, I would contort sometimes...have out of bodies, and my eyes would judder. BeforeI started calming down I took 70gms of some stodgy black Thai shrooms, and was actuallyconvinced (whilst on the trip) I was an omni-potent being...time to stop.
What's interesting is that now I've had a break it's opened my interest in the sciences...especially physics and neuroscience, as I'm determined to rationalise this encounter. I'm keeping it as purely subjective for now, but there is serious research into the unique properties of consciousness, and some very interesting theories and mysteries...though you have tobe careful what you read, there's a lot of nutters out there...or sitting in front of my pc
Anyway that's my 2 cents for now. I certainly don't recommend taking your brain to those limits...on a number of occasions I felt out of body experiences when straight...which is bad, thankfully they've passed. I'm opening my mind trying to get my head round quantum entanglement at the moment...though San Pedro next week...it's me b'day

[mcozzy]

I don't think I've ever done less than 7 grams.


I heard that Terrence McKenna said that you can't take too much - that if you're worried about taking too much, you should probably double the amount you're that's scaring you. He says the whole idea is to lose control in the right setting with the right people around to guide you.

[mrpickles88]

Yeh man, mental issues plus alot of psychedelics is not going to treat you too well...