cocaine has completely taken over my life.. damn

[JaWill88]

swim must admit cocaine has COMPLETELY taken over swims life. swim used to think the heroin was the main problem but thats bs. heroin isn't even damaging to the body at all. swim was able to finally quite shooting heroin by getting on suboxone last year the day after christmas. swim always thought the opiates are what was destroying his life. but when swim thinks about it... its cocaine. cocaine is such a worse drug. soooo much more psycologically addicting it's rediculous. it is an obsessive compulsive disorder. swim hates it so much. every morning when swim wakes up he thinks about how hes gonna get his blow. swim used to only shoot it. that was the only satisfying way. but then swim started to rock it up so he could get needles out of the picture completely. now swim has even gone back to snorting it like he did years ago. but its still completely destroying him, his family, and his relationship with friends and everything else. swim used cocaine tonight and regrets it so bad. swim has to turn in an employee handbook tomorrow and will be getting scheduled to work for the first time ever. swim finally got the job he always wanted. electricians apprentice. swim really wants to become an electrician and if he screws this up, he is screwing his whole life up. anyways swim is mostly just trying to vent as its really bothering him more and more each day (his addiction that is) and is wondering if anyone has any advice. swim really dislikes 12 steps and would rather use than be one of the more miserable with the false sense of hope. and swim does not believe in any certain higher power or anything but doesn't really hate on it either. basically swim is wondering what others have done at the very beginning of quitting cocaine to get through cravings and stuff. swim just CAN NOT do this shit anymore. thanks for letting swim vent. any help or suggestions would be greatly appreciated. thanks.

[Fight Club]

Congratulations on getting a job and wanting to stop. There are lots of options that don't involve 12 steps and a higher power. NIK has some success with SMARTrecovery for a while. This is a CBT (cognitive behavioral therapy) approach, that works well for some people. Most importantly, which ever approach you choose, you need to stay away from people places and things that will fuel the temptation, and accept the fact that you will be dealing with cravings, and possibly both depression and anxiety for quite some time, but they will get better.

The most important thing to do if you find yourself having a strong craving is to get to a safe place, and call someone for support. Telling on yourself to someone you trust has an amazing ability to make the craving go away.

Consider inpatient treatment if you have trouble doing it in the "real world".

FC

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[JaWill88]

thanks for the reply FC. since swim last posted he has used a lot. he used today. he smoked crack. swim hates this and is destroying his life. his family is sooo close to kicking him out of the house. swim is proud of himself for completly giving up heroin as well as using needles but for swims parents that is not good enough. and swim hates using more and more each time he does it. and swim is supposed to start work this week and just doesn't know what to do. swim is either going to straight up tell them he has a problem that he really wants help with and maybe go to an inpatient for like a month and see if they will let him work when he gets back, or just start work and really focus on everything he can do to not use cocaine. anyone got any advise for swims situation? this is a really life/future threatening situation for him. very serious. advise would be great. thanks.

[Fight Club]

^^^
Unfortunately, a new employer will probably not be sympatetic. I'd keep that one under your hat. Maybe the change of scenery will help. Make sure you are occupied, and not bored. Hang around other people that don't use and see if that helps.

Quitting crack is not easy; don't give up.

FC

[JaWill88]

thanks for reply. coke sucks. it takes up all of swims everything lol. his time, money, mind, ect. lol. but really swim hates it with a passion now. he is using a little less and a little less as time goes on. today is the first day he didn't wake up and start thinking about how to get some money. turns out swim is starting his job middle of next week from now. swim wants to stay clean so he can have a life. as swim said before he really doesn't like 12 steps but is thinking about an outpatient type treatment that focuses on self empowerment and finding the right path in life specifically for that person, not go to AA forever or die with this horrible disease bs lol. sorry if that offended anyone. but swim thinks he will do that if he can't stay clean on his own by lifting weights frequently and just more positive thinking and stuff. swim is perscribed clonazepam for anxiety and last month his doctor also prescribed citalopram (SSRI) and said he could take that as well if he wanted to. swim may even go with this. is there any reason swim should not go on this medicine? anyone think it will help with overall better mood and maybe even help with cravings a little?