cocaine : Intense cravings start to show up... (help)

[dcrn]

SWIM Wants to sniff that LINE so bad but SWIM doesn't want to sniff that line... SWIM doesn't know what the F...he wants...he is going insane out of his mind. SWIM swore he would quit cocaine permanently and the last time he used was Nov 16th...he hasn't done any since then...but now the cravings are just horrific. Swim is doing everything he can to get his shit together but its hard as motherfucker. he works out, and does all of the shit to keep his mind busy but its very very hard. He was clubbing this past Saturday and drank a little bit than he wanted to do some coke to the point that he paid $XX for a gram to this guy who gave him some very good shit...swim went to his hotel room... chopped up his shit...made a nice line...and when it was time to sniff REALITY CHECK kicked in...swim then blew that line on the floor and the rest of the gram threw in the toilet and flushed it down ..just lost $XX on not even using it..swim did taste it...a little pinch and that was it...whenever swim has a good time or is at a club he wants yay...he would do yay but is scared about his hyperventilation syndrome that coke caused him and whenever he's using it he gets shortness of breath and has to breath with a plastic bag over his mouth... thinking he wil die...THIS IS ONE MAIN REASON WHY SWIM QUIT COCAINE...IF IT WASN'T FOR THIS... HE WOULD BE DOING IT..SWIM LOVES THE HIGH COKE GIVES HIM...HE USED TO KISS HIS GRAM BAGGS BUT HE JUST WANTS TO QUIT...AND HE HAS BEEN CLEAN SINCE NOV 16TH..

ONE SHOULDER SWIM HAS DEVIL AND ANOTHER ANGEL... SO FAR I'M WITH ANGEL....BUT DEVIL IS JUST CALLING ME INNN

[Paracelsus]

AND HE HAS BEEN CLEAN SINCE NOV 16TH..

Congratulations! That is more than a full month. A great accomplishment. SWIY should somehow reward himself. Fuck the Devil. You're stronger. Don't ever give up.

[Kodi]

Have you been checked out by a doctor, someone swim knows used to have problems with hyperventilating eventually to find out it was caused by a deviated septum.

[Fight Club]

Congrats on 30 days. Don't be upset you flushed the C; next to not scoring at all it was the next best thing you could do. Addiction is a downward spiral, and recovery is an upward spiral.

Cravings and other stuggles in recovery tend to occur however at regular intervals, like 30 days for example. Recognize that it's the coke talking. Your cravings will diminish, your mood will get better, things will get easier, so long as you don't use.

Getting high might provide temporary relief at best, but you just reset the clock with all the other shit.

When you feel that way, get out of the club, away from people partying or doing "things" that might impede your progress. Get to home or another safe place; read a book, play a game, watch a show, etc. Get a good night sleep, and tomorrow will be a better day.

FC

[dcrn]

Thank you SWIMMERS for all the kind words and all the advices. This really helps a lot. One month without that evil shit is something to be proud of.

[tinytom]

30 days partner well done!
one day at a time. next time you really need that line promise yourself that you will have it tomorrow. hopefully by then you will be back on track.

good luck

[dogzz]

It's more than just a plain addiction to coke. It's an entire experience,....the partying, the clubbing, scoring , doing lines....it all connects in swiy's head as a "good time" Coke was the first substance swim quit, he had to. It began to cause swim severe anxiety, a paranoid type of feeling which caused almost every muscle in swim's body to tense. Would even realize swim wasnt breathing properly.....all of which kind of seems strange considering swim's real DOC was meth. Never wasted any time trying to figure it out, just realized not using coke things were ok. Back to what swim was first talkin about.....there is the addiction to the drug, but there also gets to be an addiction to the "rituals" ...all the little things involved in the use of said drug. Does swiy get these crazy cravings while out clubbing?? probably yes, what about while just kickin it at home by yourself doin nothin? swim's guessing no, or at least not as severe. Going a month is huge.....blowin it off and tossing it is huge.....swiy has that desire to no longer be a slave to coke. Hang in there.....pay attention to what precedes and causes the cravings..... possibly go clubbing a little less untill swiy has some more clean time behind him. One can not just decide to stop using and expect to instantly get over it.

[dcrn]

to all of you that replied goes a big thanks for everything that you wrote. Swim still remains sober and clean and feels a thousand times better. Finally in such a long time - swim has money in his wallet that he can use for other things other than buying coke. Swim really regrets his past use and wishes that he never tried it. Swim started to avoid certain places or even clubs that will give him that push for a coke cravings. Swim wishes more people quit that way we have a better, cleaner sober society instead of making some lowlife criminal in Colombia rich.

Be safe.

[Emptyhands222]

Just wanted you to know that if you have any future problems, there is always Ibogain or psilopybin those 2 chems have worked well from my cousin in helping her treat her own Cocain addiction

[cganon]

Well done on your great achievement. Every time you manage to fight those cravings you become one step closer to the freedom that you desire.

In case you lose your head one time, don't beat yourself up! I don't believe that you are starting at day 1 again. It's cravings you overcame that should be counted! (When - SELF-EDIT) If you succumb this can be deducted from your count.

Again - well done! SWIM will see you at the finishing line (stupid pun was an accident!).

[dcrn]

Thanks guys... MUCH APPRECIATED... now lets all get clean ...

SWIM still remains clean and the cravings are completely gone.

[Paracelsus]

Bravo! Have a clean 2008!

[MiMoMo]

It has been my experience that those who demonize cocaine with derogatory name calling and try to 'fight the evil shit' with physical exercise gyrations, they are doomed. Until one comes to clearly view their own anxieties in the reflection of cocaine's mirror, there will be no peace. As the saying goes, 'what you resist, will persist'. Having lurked in many recovery forums, I've witnessed the perpetual agony and regretful relapses that haunt those that demean their drug of choice with vulgar slurs. The inherent self sabotage of such a stance resides in that the true direction of slander is really the user's very own self. Such thinly veiled self condemnation is bound to sour the sweet cream of life.

Just take a look at this personal blog that someone started in order to 'fight the ivory devil', using journaling and gym workouts. The way it ends, says it all. Go to the older posts that begin the blog and read how successful this fellow's fantasy battles were. I can sympathize.
http://geekedcokehead.blogspot.com/

My own success in recovery rests in the gratefulness for the drug experience and all its consequences, however dire. It has stretched my body and mind, albeit with a few rips and tears in the process. Comes a time when you realize you are just repeating the same old/same old and that its time to just move along. I am warmly secure in the knowledge that all the cocaine in the Universe is patiently waiting for me if I ever want to chop again. Any cravings are welcomed as rumblings of a hunger that needs healthy and proper feeding. You are what you eat, but more so, you are what you think.

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exactly