How does swiy deal with depression?

[Euphoric]

Cra$h, not to sound unsympathetic towards SWIY (and I think other posters have done the same thing in this thread) but this thread is for people to share things that have helped with depression. I must recommend that SWIY and all poster's with stories about (that don't mention ways of coping) or questions regarding their own or their associates be directed to professional help or a different forum.

For SWICra$h, if you (hypothetically) are the cause, what aspect of you? Can it be changed? Most likely. With enough practice and re-enforcement those self-loathing thoughts can probably be brought to a halt.

From SWICra$h's second last post in this thread, it sounds like SWIY has a drug problem and needs to reign in and deal with his problem. With professional help if necessary.

There are many more possibilities for SWICra$h's future than the success or junky options mentioned above. The future is full of surprises. If SWIY's family is not active in getting SWIY professional help, SWIY should take that step themself.

If SWICra$h would like to speak more about this, they can PM me, or start another thread if they think the info they share will help others who may come across it. Just note that I am no replacement for good professional help. I lack any real qualifications, but I'll try to help to a certain extent if desired.

I will also mention to readers of this thread that they should familiarize themselves with the forum's policy on posts about self-harm and suicide before posting about such things if they are considering. I believe most such posts will be removed and the user will be referred to contacts for professional help.

All the best to everyone.

Euphoric added 4 Minutes and 19 Seconds later...

Oh, I also wanted to mention that I'm pretty sure that saying "Take E" is against the rules. Endorsing illegal activity is not allowed on the forum. However one could share someone's personal experience by saying that "E helped SWIM deal with his depression". This, like any treatments will not be right for everyone, and should be researched thoroughly before anyone tries it, should they have a legal way of doing so, which is unlikely unless they are part of a research study or something. Can you say run-on sentence? Anyways, I think the point has been made.

Reputation Comments on this post:

Fantastic and helpful post.

[static_vodka_420]

swim has 3 tactics all of them involving drugs as swim has panic attacks to the point of covulsing so he needs something keeping him calm while he works everything out

tactic 1- swim purchases salvia 40x and hawAIAN baby woodrose seeds , sets his mind on solving the problems, and gains insight from the trip.. repeated trips are often necessarry...any psyxhadellic will do but swim has the most experience with the aforementioned two so he is able to focus the trip more so than with other ones.


tactic 2 -swim smokes cannabis heavilly, starts drinking everyday, then begins taking benzos and opiates everyday as well..he walks around in a daze so he doesnt have to deal with reality until he fucks his situation up so much that hes forced and he gets back on top of things right before hitting rock bottom.. in a sort of afterglow he uses very little drugs in the week or 2 following this(note this is more of a recurring pattern than an actual strategy)

tactic 3- swim binges on uppers and attempts to fix everything in his lefe he fucked up that made him depressed.. swim usually ends up with outstanding marks in college, a new girlfriend, and one hell of a headache for a week afterwards(swim uses this one when he absolutelly has to get a few things done and worked out)

swim would reccomend tactic 1 the other 2 are a lot more dangerous

swim has been given around 15 different antidepressants and none of them ever worked he feels depression is a cycle that needs to be worked out one cant just fix it with a pill one has to find and do something about the underlying causes

[MrG]

Bravo to all who vouch for the "healthy body, healthy mind" ethos, it is often so very true.

Whilst I am certainly not qualified to make recommendations for the *seriously* afflicted, I will freely admit to having suffered from SOUL-CRUSHING panic-attacks and free-floating anxiety over a particular period of my life (10+ years). St John's Wort (OTC herbal remedy), three times a day, helped incredibly well to tame that beast. It needs to be taken for a few weeks, usually, before the full effects are noticed but, when they are, the relief is palpable!

A huuuuge amount can also be said for quitting tobacco, even if one can't quit the leaf, changing from the pre-made cigarettes in packs to hand rolling, loose, tobacco *does* make a difference.

Finally, get your teeth fixed. No, not Hollyweird bright white stylee, just make sure that there are no abscesses that you are unaware of, as they can leach poisonous pus into the bloodstream which *will* affect your wellbeing. Personal experience proved that one. Getting them treated by a dentist and taking a full course of antibiotics if prescribed (always the whole course btw, even if you start feeling better).

Be well.

Reputation Comments on this post:

Thanks for the input.

[Euphoric]

Why loose leaf over pre-made?

[MrG]

Wayyyy fewer added chemicals.

Tobacco leaf itself is only a small part of the health problem, have you read the list of what chemicals are added to pre-made cigarettes? *shudders*

SWIM can also personally vouch that the jonesing for a 'rollie' is a lot less than for a 'straight'.

Neither are great but loose-leaf is certainly the lesser of two evils.

Put it this way, I never had panic attacks before I smoked and I have never had one since I quit. Could be a coincidence, sure.

[MrG]

Sorry for the back-to-back posting, someone asked me to expound further on St John's Wort.

This person mentioned that they have been on Klonopin for 6+ years. I did a quick check on what Klonopin is: It is a benzodiazepine.

This same web resource on Klonopin also makes the following recommendation:

Klonopin should be used for only a short time. Do not take this medication for longer than 9 weeks without your doctor's advice.

So, yet again but with a different med this time, I am left seething at the US (because it just *has* to be someone based in the US who has been put on this stuff for over 6 years!) medical practitioners' usual "pile 'em high, sell 'em high, keep 'em high" ethos.

St John's Wort doesn't usually need much in the way of guidance other than what can be found on the label/package insert. It can be bought pretty much anywhere and, apart from the most idiotic countries, is completely OTC.

Taken with breakfast, lunch and dinner in order to make sure an upset tummy was avoided, I did not experience any side-effects.

Most websites providing information on SJW nowadays are chock full of the usual scare-tactics and hysteria in order to avoid the ever-present threat of the lazy lawsuit and, as a result, I am unable to proffer further information on the substance.

Call me chicken but someone who is eager to have a patient on a 6 year K-pin script is likely to have a real rottweiller of a lawyer should their cash cow start refusing to be milked.

All I can say is that, if you are interested in a herbal alternative to your current anti-depressant and only then if you have not been diagnosed with a serious mental disorder, it may be worth researching more into the substance.

[entheogensmurf]

Originally Posted by Orchid_Suspiria

Swims love for mind altering substances came out of the need to escape hurtful things and sorrow.Ofcourse swim can not always afford to escape in this way.Swim wonders how other people deal with hurtful things and being depressed without the use of chemicals?Maybe swim can find the magic solution he has been looking for for so long with the help of other people on df?Swim certainly hopes!

My apathy keeps me pretty darn safe, not factoring other mental disciplines which may contribute to my neutral/well-being state.

My depression, if that's what it is, consists of one of the following every other year or three:
1. Excessive sleeping
2. Severe insomnia

Primarily on the latter (the first only occurring twice). I mention this to explain that it's possible that I lack a point of reference in a sense.

Here's how I deal with shit:
Accept reality.
If I fuck up, I admit it to myself. Denial rapes the nerves and wears the body/mind out in my opinion.
I've found that exerting any energy to suppress what I know is true, tends to bring about quasi-neurotic behavior (nothing dangerous).
Be aware that negative/depression may not always stem from a rational source.
Example: PMS or the male equivalent

Just being consciously aware that it's not coming from a rational source (i.e. a gun pointed at your head) is not the remedy itself but a tool to lessen the grip that shrouds the psyche.
To not be aware allows the mind to wander and find reasons which are not necessarily there. I imagine a person with even minute paranoid would start to create conspiracy theories

Not last (I feeling a bit distracted to ramble on) and not least:
Exercise! I bike to work every day, weather permitting (it's nearly all ice here ATM which = bus, so by default I'm getting at least 5.5-6 hours of fairly workout type fun.

I have noticed in the past a direct correlation to inactivity over a course of a few months to a decrease in well-being.

Oh wait, I can't forget to throw this out:
Introspection and a touch of meditation (I'm borderline if not ADD endowed so "meditation" is normally impossible)!
That shit helps curb issues before they flower and spread their seed.

Life is just a ride!

More to come (later) probably and be well.

[insomnizombie]

yes drugs do work but they work to well. i'm finally giving in and gonna try legal anti depressants as its just to much for me and its been that way for too long. i just want to say that anyone considering suicide please think long and hard about it and try to really make sure you understand the depth of such a decision. when i tried to end my life i did not want to live anymore but once i got to the edge of death i realized that it is possible to not want to live and also not want to die either and luckily i was saved but it was a horrorific experience and it is true what they say about suicide not being the answer. at least its not a good one and if you can stop trusting yourself and trust me, an answer will come along if your pacient even though it doesn't seem like it

[Dreznik]

this may sound totally stoopid .. but it is not a joke nor am i fukin around. #1) your diet. YES i know ... just stay away from all fried + shit food, pm me for details.... eat CLEAN*****...no fast food, huge portions. YES i understaNd your ...

[humdroid]

It's depression, which is currently keeping Y off base.

It's easy to say 'stay off the chems' but some people are chem prone when depressed. Others fight, or bawl out people, still others gamble, others get stoned, some steal, some get drunk, and so on.

We all have our particular vice.
Y turns to chemicals when depressed, but as the first line of this post says, it's the post chemical depression which has deterred him from using, as it hasnt gone away, since the last useage a couple of months ago.

Diet is the most important. What we put in our bodies. Sleep also.
We make our own chemicals.
Y would suggest looking at supplements and herbs. Different things work for different people.
L-tyrosine was one which Y used, and he hasnt been able to get hold of any for a few weeks. He noticed the depression worsen.
Y would suggest googling about, but the usual health precautions apply.
SSRI's are an option, but Y feels, some of the issues which cropped up with his past mdma and speed use would be too much, so Y opted for supplements and herbs.

It's about getting the brain to make good neurotransmitters, and doing the things which precipitate that. Afterall, that's SWIM's take our beloved naughty chemicals, so the brain makes friendly neurotransmitters.

I've made a few words bold, for you to have a google on.
Y took some time to collect information, read other's experiences of various herbs and supplements, and chose my own, I'm still experimenting, but have somehow survived a couple of months without my beloved chemicals.

humdroid added 13 Minutes and 18 Seconds later...

Originally Posted by SuprSonik

SWIM enjoys opioids very much, but has been able to keep his use under control so far. He finds himself getting dangerously close at times to a serious addiction however, and fears that it's almost certain he will end up a junky with enough time. SWIM also has a bad habit of drinking too much and using too many benzodiazepines. Without them SWIM constantly feels like just killing himself, as it seems there's no other permanent solution to dealing with depression.

SWIM was happy when he first started using drugs, as finally there was a solution. But now, it just seems like he's postponing an inevitable breakdown. SWIM can take higher doses and different drugs, but that will only lead to worse places. SWIM would rather be happy, or at least content, and live a short life than be miserable and live a long life, though. It's sad that those seem to be the only 2 choices SWIM has.

humdroid added 1 Minutes and 25 Seconds later...

Originally Posted by SuprSonik

SWIM enjoys opioids very much, but has been able to keep his use under control so far. He finds himself getting dangerously close at times to a serious addiction however, and fears that it's almost certain he will end up a junky with enough time. SWIM also has a bad habit of drinking too much and using too many benzodiazepines. Without them SWIM constantly feels like just killing himself, as it seems there's no other permanent solution to dealing with depression.

SWIM was happy when he first started using drugs, as finally there was a solution. But now, it just seems like he's postponing an inevitable breakdown. SWIM can take higher doses and different drugs, but that will only lead to worse places. SWIM would rather be happy, or at least content, and live a short life than be miserable and live a long life, though. It's sad that those seem to be the only 2 choices SWIM has.

Y didnt get an addiction to opitates, but he did get an addiction to amphetamines.
Y had depression and breakdowns long before any drug.
Post-comedown depression is what is currently keeping Y of the speed at the minute, it's that bad, even speed is shunned, it's been like this for weeks ???.

Experience tells Y, however, that if we expect to be depressed and never allow ourselves to consider our lives turning out otherwise, depressed we will be.
This is because, no matter how low we go, luck always seems to depend on which way we are facing.
Y's experience tells him, that when he is feeling lower than low, life has only got better, on those occasions, when Y was facing, towards improvement, whilst sat down, in his low pit.
If Y faced towards further doom and deterioration, while down there, down life turned.
Im no scientist, or mysticist, but Y thinks its some universal law.

Too depressed to take speed, hmm, funny how life works out.

Reputation Comments on this post:

some good info here!

[Euphoric]

I think it is worth mentioning to those who rely on supplements for serotonin (5-htp or tryptophan) and dopamine/norepinephrine (tyrosine) that so long as the body is getting a sufficient amount of complete protein (animal or soy) intake then the body will get its essential amino acids and can synthesize its own non-essential ones.

It's been said in this thread and in many other things regarding wellbeing before, but a healthy diet is very important!

[stephy171072]

Swim has been suffering with depression for 6 years now and swim has tried lots of things chemical and non chemical to try and pull her out of it but nothing has really worked. Some things for a short period of time but swim always falls back into it again. The only thing that has brought swim any unchemically related joy in the last few months was putting effort into my familys christmas gifts and really going out with them even wrapping them in really expencive fancy wrapping paper and stuff and just doing things that bring happines to other people swim finds makes you feel a bit better about your self.

This feeling never last for long with swim though. Most days swim dosn't get out of bed untill about 8pm. Not that swim can actually sleep, swim just lyes there wishing everything would just stop because she is sick of feeling like this. Swims depression has led to drugs and alchol addiction and she had even managed to move away to university but now is back at step one living in her parents house and barley saying a word to anyone all week. Swim has tried councelling and a number of diffrenet antidepressents, excersise, nothing seems to work So now swim just relies on heroin to escape from all the pain of the world. Addmitadly it has just made swims life worse but it is the only way she feels she can cope with life and if the first thing she finds herself looking forward to in years.

[BuriedinFrost]

So swim's been reading a few of these posts and when he has the time he will read them all, because for once swim felt a little happier without being under the influence listening to all of you, knowing he is not alone. swims been dealing with depression for a while now, swim don't know how it started, but swim's been dealing with it for a long time now. he had a rough childhood (but didn't we all in one way or another?) parents hooked on meth, fighting, beatings, everything always broken and look like shit. Swim started with marijuana and it took him away instantly to a heavenly place. Since the first hit of pot, swim used psychedelics alot to put himself into other realitys, and then one day swim got a big bottle of Vicodin. Now swim finds himself with a ridiculous tolerance, using heroin, oxy, whatever he can get his hands on. He has been through painful withdrawals, come almost out of the deep dark woods and gone back in again all because of the depression...he fears the inevitable future of his junkydom but still feels like he can control all this somehow...he just wants to be happy, but everyday life isn't worth living and he just wants to die, swim will need to move out soon and then he will most likely be homeless for a while until a roommate is secure, and swim is too embarrased to room with anyone with such an addictive problem. Recreational is one thing, using it on a semi-regular basis to unwind is one thing, (swim smokes pot on the daily tho, he doesn't mind that, it works quite well for him) but swim has a big problem with opiates and he is too weary of going on psychiatric meds or talking to a doctor, fearing they will realize he has clinical depression, anxiety, and possibly slight bi-polar disorder (the first two are certain, the third is iffy) and an addictive personality like a mofucker. If they know this, they will be very weary of ever prescribing swim the things that make life worth while when the end is near, or just when swim is sick or hurt. They will be weary of opiates, benzos and many other nice medicines with an addictive risk. Swim also does not want the chemical balance of his brain altered with pills every day because sometimes he fights the depression for the sake of his own mental health, but generaly only when no drugs are around. He wants a chemical that he can take when he is having anxiety attacks and suicidal thoughts and is freaking out breaking stuff that will simply sedate him, swim also has major insomnia...i've been droning on for a while...and of course the best thing would be if swim could just achieve the euphoria and peace of mind he so desperately seeks on his own force of will.

[jakored]

swim has attempted suicide as a youngin, and nearly "killed" himself (jail time) with a very bad mushroom trip which involved police officers and a few paramedics, nerve damage and a giant tranquilizer.

This was mostly centered at anger at ones self, and his father, which the issues are unresolved. Luckily, being a larger guy, Swim was more intent on destroying his Own body rather then the police officers, garnering a hospital stay versus prison time.

Swim still has peaks and valleys, but mostly is a constant low-level stress.

Swim needs to eat well, exercise, and accomplish at least half of what he needs too in order to feel "complete" otherwise, will Binge on almost anything: watching tv / playing computer till 6 am for three nights in a row, drinking himself to sleep, taking any pills available etc.

Swim needs a councillor, because he has found that NORMALLY, if you have somone uninvolved whom you can speak of (even typing on a random forum such as this can help swim), you can get out of funks sometimes.

Additionally, when depression hits home, try to think "why am I ___ why do I think ___ why does this cause me ___" you will eventually find out why swim IS actually depressed, which can lead to realizations that could help the depression.

[RFIM.]

SWIM doesnt deal with her depression well. SWIM would say Valium is a good answer, but thats not really natural.
But SWIM would say that exercise, and fresh air really help. Going for walks outdoors is always fun. Or writing can help. Anything creative can get rid of bad aura, if you ask me.

[ronaldo]

What it boils down to is being yourself, respecting yourself and accepting the bad stuff. Do the things you love but are too frightened of chasing. SWIM loves acting but he is way too scared to drop all his commitments in the hope of becoming Al Pacino. What is it that makes you happy. Do it lots and you will notice the difference.

[ex-junkie]

hmmz. swim has some social issues still after all this time, however they are simply a result of spending too much time alone, and being isolated where she lives. this is not her hometown, and she doesnt enjoy the same things as other people that live here.

to deal with depression, swim found that eating fish often makes her brighter, more productive, more creative, and all around happy. she doesnt take anti depressants, because in her experience, shes been worse whilst taking them.

keeping your fluids up is also worth a mention, as dehydration can play an important role in the feeling of shitness. getting sunlight in the morning is equally as important. sometimes its the little things that work the best.



its also a good thing to take note of things when they make you feel good/happy, and then turn to these things (preferably not drugs) when youre feeling down. sometimes photos, funny youtube links/websites, pictures of serene environments can be great for that little boost when you need it the most.

[duG22]

just try to keep busy.. like someone else said just watch movies or pick up a hobby like music or something, music is great.

if that fails ask the doc for some adderall.. thats what swim did

yeah people are gonna disagree but swim thinks adderall helps me with his deppression.. disagree? tuff shit

[rhcpeppers1234]

Adderall and ritalin may be good, until you come down, then you will probably be more depressed. Swim really liked adderall until he weighed himself and he was like 12 lbs lighter than when he started takin it. (keep in mind swim has ADD pretty bad)

Take melatonin before you go to bed, better sleep means a better day.

Also there are many herbs that one can take. aka damiana valerian root, scullcap, passion flower. These are in no way ment to replace real drugs, but they can be very calming and uplifting. Hope this helps

[duG22]

ok swims going out on a limb here but he says you should try morning glory. the trip sucks very bad but when you return back to your normal self its very uplifting

just an idea, swims on mg right now

[beemac]

SWIM has had problems with depression since being about 15. It runs in his family on both his mum's and his dad's sides.

In school swim never really acknowledged what the problem was and just thought he was lazy. It was diagnosed at 16 and swim has been on and off SSRIs over the 7 years, mostly off though, I hasten to add.

Swim finds that SSRIs are NOT a long term solution at all, but can be what is necessary to bring him out of the deep dark hole that he sometimes ends up in. I would thoroughly recommend lots of excercise, spending lots of time socialising and with friends and ROUTINE. For me this is the biggy

[Lady Codone]

SWIM manages her "depression" (really chronic fatigue/low motivation) by balancing work/responsibilities with fun/recreation and allotting plenty of time for myself to just be alone and chill. Of course SWIM uses substances to help her escape from her bad feelings temporarily, but never in dangerous or reckless doses; just enough to get the job done.

SWIM has also been on anti-depressants for the past 9 years--Luvox, Lexapro, Effexor, Risperdal, Anafranil, Elavil, Wellbutrin, and currently Prozac--but finds that she's actually much "happier" without them (AFTER the withdrawal period of course). They make her feel dull and emotionless, but quitting causes SWIM to gain too much weight too fast and she can rarely endure the w/ds, which make her feel like an out-of-control crazy lady. So she's stuck.

For SWIM, it's all about balance. Work comes first, then alone time, and then "fun" time, which consists of me going out with friends, being social, etc. Making To-Do lists is a lifesaver and helps keep SWIM on track and lowers stress.

[beemac]

Originally Posted by Lady Codone

but finds that she's actually much "happier" without them (AFTER the withdrawal period of course). They make her feel dull and emotionless, but quitting causes SWIM to gain too much weight too fast and she can rarely endure the w/ds, which make her feel like an out-of-control crazy lady. So she's stuck.

For SWIM, it's all about balance. Work comes first, then alone time, and then "fun" time, which consists of me going out with friends, being social, etc. Making To-Do lists is a lifesaver and helps keep SWIM on track and lowers stress.

Your bit about feeling emotionless and dull swim can completely agree with. Its a very strange feeling and only seems to be present after being on prozac for 4 weeks+. Whenever swim gets prescribed them, he takes them for 4 weeks, gets to this point and then has to stop taking them as it actually makes things worse.

Swims doctor is useless though - been on a 12 week waiting list for councelling twice this year, which has not materialised and he refuses to prescribe or consider and other kind of treatment, cbt etc.

Swim has also found recently that he feels within himself a very strong link between his depression, anxiety problems and his insomnia. Thankfully swims self confidence issues have been sorted Hopefully get the rest of it sorted at some point in the future, swim just needs to keep focussed and look forward and be as positive as possible.

Excuse the rambling here, a little under the influence, hope I've made sense.

Swim always used to have a really nice doctor but he has since retired - do other swimmers think perhaps swim should try and change doctors for someone who might be a little more proactive and understanding?