How does swiy deal with depression?

[SuprSonik]

Originally Posted by Euphoric

To the above two posts: time can be a great healer. SWIM is unfamiliar with the history of depression for the two above, but SWIM's depressions tend to wax and wane, sometimes feeling like they will not end and that things cannot get better. But they do. Can SWIY think of times when they've felt similar, though perhaps not quite as low as they do now when they have recovered, no matter how fleetingly?

SWIM suggests to let go of guilt for feeling the way one does. That is a viscious circle. Try to accept the way SWIY feels. If there is an issue to be resolved, try to do so. If it cannot be fixed, try to let it go and find enjoyment despite it. If SWIY has read up on battling depression not only here but elsewhere and feels that they are making no progress, perhaps a visit to a doctor is necessary.

Don't forget there's always 1-800-SUICIDE

That's the thing about SWIM's depression, it never lets up. He's been depressed for a long time; at least 8 or 9 years, and SWIM can see signs of it when looking back even further. At times it can be less intense, such as when using drugs or being with a friend that he hasn't seen in a while, but it still lingers even then. After that, SWIM's depression seems to rebound and it gets even worse, because if SWIM is still depressed while doing the things he enjoys and being with people that he cares about, he knows it's never going to go away. When SWIM isolates himself from people to avoid his rebound depression, he starts to get lonely and depressed for different reasons. SWIM thinks it's not so much a reason or a thing (although some things can certainly make it worse) that makes him depressed, but that he was just born this way. Depression affects many people in his immediate family, and doctor visits never seem to do much for any of them. SWIM has pretty much lost hope, SWIM has been trying to avoid triggers which might make his depression even worse, but he can't do that forever.

Originally Posted by ~lostgurl~

doggy hat and suprsonic, have you guys tried antidepressants? They really do work for some and if they don't work for you try something else. It is a chemical imbalance in your brain that you may be unable to correct without medication. don't give up hope, because seriously things will get better in time but sometimes you need to help yourself if you want help, and this can be a very difficult thing to do when you believe 100% that you can't be helped.

Hold on, stay strong and fight the black dog, you are worth it and I'm sure your family and friends think you are worth it too, even if they don't show it.

SWIM has tried several anti-depressants (prescribed and not prescribed), and has been somewhat vocal about his disappointment with SSRIs on these forums. SWIM has given other anti-depressant drugs a try as well, such as amphetamine (in therapeutic doses), but those are just temporary solutions at best, and depression always seems to come back 10-fold unless he continually increases dosages. SWIM has very bad insomnia as well, and using amphetamine or other uppers required him to use benzodiazepines and other downers to get to sleep. There are constant contradictions with anything he tries which makes it impractical for use as an anti-depressant.

[~lostgurl~]

I think the reason there is so much teen suicide is because it is in the teen years where one usually suffers their first bout of depression, this can happen anytime in life but for many the first time is during their teen years.

I had my first bout of depression at 18 and I honestly could not see any happiness in my future whatsoever, and it wasn't that I wished something were different, I had everything but I wasn't happy. As in the 2 posts above, I felt extreme guilt for even being depressed when so many had actual reasons to be depressed. Guilt makes depression 10X worse.

I was 100% sure that I would never feel happy again - 100%! People would tell me things would get better but I didn't believe them cause I knew for me they wouldn't. But I held on anyway and guess what? Things did get better. The next time I felt this low was when I was 20 and although in many ways this depression felt worse, at least I had the knowledge in the back of my mind that it would get better even if I felt it wouldn't. This difference was what kept me going, those going through depression for the first time just don't believe it when people tell them this.

doggy hat and suprsonic, have you guys tried antidepressants? They really do work for some and if they don't work for you try something else. It is a chemical imbalance in your brain that you may be unable to correct without medication. don't give up hope, because seriously things will get better in time but sometimes you need to help yourself if you want help, and this can be a very difficult thing to do when you believe 100% that you can't be helped.

Hold on, stay strong and fight the black dog, you are worth it and I'm sure your family and friends think you are worth it too, even if they don't show it.

Reputation Comments on this post:

	Nice post.
	Just came across this post; very interesting. Of all the posters here, your responses make me think, in different ways, ...

[doggy_hat]

Originally Posted by ~lostgurl~

I think the reason there is so much teen suicide is because it is in the teen years where one usually suffers their first bout of depression, this can happen anytime in life but for many the first time is during their teen years.

I had my first bout of depression at 18 and I honestly could not see any happiness in my future whatsoever, and it wasn't that I wished something were different, I had everything but I wasn't happy. As in the 2 posts above, I felt extreme guilt for even being depressed when so many had actual reasons to be depressed. Guilt makes depression 10X worse.

I was 100% sure that I would never feel happy again - 100%! People would tell me things would get better but I didn't believe them cause I knew for me they wouldn't. But I held on anyway and guess what? Things did get better. The next time I felt this low was when I was 20 and although in many ways this depression felt worse, at least I had the knowledge in the back of my mind that it would get better even if I felt it wouldn't. This difference was what kept me going, those going through depression for the first time just don't believe it when people tell them this.

doggy hat and suprsonic, have you guys tried antidepressants? They really do work for some and if they don't work for you try something else. It is a chemical imbalance in your brain that you may be unable to correct without medication. don't give up hope, because seriously things will get better in time but sometimes you need to help yourself if you want help, and this can be a very difficult thing to do when you believe 100% that you can't be helped.

Hold on, stay strong and fight the black dog, you are worth it and I'm sure your family and friends think you are worth it too, even if they don't show it.

SWIM has had problems with depression before, when he was a child. in fact he almost successfully committed suicide when he was 11(He hanged himself with a lamp, and to secure the lamp he threw it over a door and closed the door. Sometime after he lost consciousness his weight pulled the door open. He dropped and regain consciousness, and barely survived.) The root of all of SWIMs depression was/is social isolation. When SWIM started going to school, he remembered always trying hard to conform during kindergarten and 1st grade, but was constantly rejected. He eventually decided that even if they would accept him, he would rather be himself than conform to have friends, and he grew to hate the kids at school more and more over the years. SWIM never had a friend until the 8th Grade, when all of his depression was alleviated and he finally knew what happiness was. he is know in 10th grade and has recently moved in October 2007. When he first heard the news he was moving he was outraged, and very sad. But then viewed it as a good experience, because he would be able to meet new people, see new places etc. and thought of it as a kind of adventure and became optimistic. However when he actually moved. He become extremely homesick and hates everyone he meets. He wasn't expecting the transition to be difficult because the move was of relatively small distance(about 60Miles). However he now lives on a country road, down the street from a corn farm in a town with a population 1/8 the size of the city he lived in, and the average income is also about 4X that of his old city. He hates everyone at school, everyone is just different from the people he used to hangout out with, and can't find anyone that he can get along with(which is strange because SWIM used to enjoy going to parties and used to get along with everyone he talked to, regardless of what kind of person they were.) It's like elementary school all over again. SWIM now just spends every single day alone with nothing to do, and can't find joy in anything. amongst the hobbies SWIM has dropped since moving includes Guitar, Drums, Lyric Writing, Drawing, Reading, and Cooking(every respectable stoner loves to cook!) SWIM is just waiting for the day he can leave and go back to his old friends.

SWIM has tried Antidepressants, normally SWIM would be very hesitant to take prescription drugs because he hates how there is a medication for everything, and feels like people over medicate everything. and he also feels that they are a forms of mind control by the government. However SWIM was willing to try anything. They do absolutely nothing except for negative side affects(SWIM gave them about a month). So SWIM just pretends to take his pills and spits them out when his parents aren't looking.

[Euphoric]

Originally Posted by doggy_hat

However when he actually moved. He become extremely homesick and hates everyone he meets. He wasn't expecting the transition to be difficult because the move was of relatively small distance(about 60Miles). However he now lives on a country road, down the street from a corn farm in a town with a population 1/8 the size of the city he lived in, and the average income is also about 4X that of his old city. He hates everyone at school, everyone is just different from the people he used to hangout out with, and can't find anyone that he can get along with(which is strange because SWIM used to enjoy going to parties and used to get along with everyone he talked to, regardless of what kind of person they were.) It's like elementary school all over again. SWIM now just spends every single day alone with nothing to do, and can't find joy in anything.

SWIM had a very similar moving experience in regards to city/town size, moving to a farm road and people being much richer around the new house. However SWIM was in grade 6. Don't know how many people are in SWIY's school, but I would be surprised if SWIY can't find one person who's company SWIY enjoys. If SWIY likes a certain type of music, are there concerts of that sort in the area? If SWIY plays music, put up an ad in the local music store to start a band, or if there isn't one, maybe up in the school or some public place where it will be noticed. Music is usually sound connecting ground (bad pun). But if SWIY's school is really so small or so lacking in variety of people, perhaps it's better that SWIY spends his time away from school at lunch and other breaks. If SWIY's school is in town/city then try to find someone in the city SWIY can relate to, not necessarily someone from school. SWIM found he spent his last year of high school alone much of the time. There were people there that liked him and that he liked, but he was very absorbed in understanding the world and his place in it and spent many of his lunch hours alone, reading. Anyways, looks like there is very possible fix for SWIY's situation: moving back to the old city or at least a different one from the present. So if it's really completely awful, SWIY could drop out and try to work and live in the old school, or try to support their self while going to school. But it may be best to stick it out through high school. If SWIY has free lonely time at school, use it to ace courses so SWIY can get scholarships and get yourself to a kicking city. Just some suggestions, hopefully helpful.

Wishing things get better (for everyone reading this thread)

[tryptamaster]

swim has been clinically depressed since age 10. when he was 13 he started using drugs(mainly weed) to cope with his depression. While it did make him feel happier it also let him meet alot of new people. Swim is 16 now and still depressed but feels getting a gf and making new friends helps ALOT. swim also weight lifts now. despite all tis however swim stll feels very empty. an ocasinal psychedelic trip renews swims faith in life itself. Swim also gets relif from seeing other people happy, swim is jsut glad they can go throuh their days and feel normal.

[meaculpa]

swim has suffered depression and anxiety for as long as she can remember. when swim was a teenager she used to starve herself as a way of feeling in control, but never developed a full blown eating disorder. swim decided at age 14 [after reading a book called Alice] that she liked the sound of all drugs and would try them at the earliest oppertunity. swim didn`t go looking for drugs but if they found her she took them, she dabbled in acid, speed and cannabis, she didn`t get much from acid, didn`t like speed or cannabis [paranoia] but then she discovered cocaine and ecstasy which swim loved, and went on a 18 month binge as well as drinking heavily. swim got into a lot of debt and had to make herself bankrupt. swim could no longer afford coke and e`s but discovered codeine, cheap and easily available and effective in curing swims depression/anxiety. swim sought help for her mental health problems before getting into hard drugs and was prescribed AD`s, they didn`t help, hence 18 month binge and subsequent codeine addiction. after 5 years of popping 30 pills a day swim had had enough so asked her gp for help, swim was sent to a DTC and was prescribed methadone to help her beat codeine addiction and had a course of CB therapy for depression/anxiety problem. neither helped and swim was then addicted to both meth and codeine. after 18 months swim decided to go cold turkey, swim went a bit nuts but then was clean for 1 year, then swim fell back into codeine addiction, although not as bad as before swim currently takes 10/12 codeine pills per day, 1 5mg diazepam and drinks alcohol most nights. swim wants to stop but anxiety problem is now worse than ever and swim is lost. swim would hope that younger members who suffer from anxiety/depression will seek proffesional help rather than self-medicating , as swim has found that drug abuse has only added to her problems rather than solved them. swim wishes everyone peace and happiness [preferably without the use of drugs]

[lostmente]

swim kills off the ego

Reputation Comments on this post:

what?

[Marty McFly]

depression and the mind are tow complicated things and hard to understand eaver. Some one on here has probably said this already but it can be next to imposable to pin point the reason SWIY's dearest! It could be for no specific reason and this person may wont to consult a doctor as Clinical depression is very common.

As for the drugs SWIM thinks they should be strictly for fun! If SWIY takes them to deal with with any problems in there lives then that could lead to more problems.

[HumansAre]

Social activity... SWIM thinks being social is THE BEST and MOST IMPORTANT THING SWIY can do to cure depression. social activity with people who arent in the same addictive depressed state. "Only make friends with those that are better than you" -I forget, lol. exercise... also another thing someone told swim is to take drama out of swiy life/thought... Drama doesn't exist! don't exagerate emotions, don't make up your own drama from emotions, that includes making drama out of physical/world problems. get it?

swim has been sober for 5 days, and off and on for the past 2 or 3 weeks. right now swim feels great sober, and just keeps thinking that SWIM has already learned disiplin of using drugs. So when swim gets an urge swim just says "Oh hey, i don't need to do that because It hasn't been a week yet, and I KNOW i got the disiplin thing down so I just can't!"

Stay busy, and swim doesn't mean sitting in front of the computer surfing forums or surfing things that are depressing or communicating with depressing movies, and music. Balance is key. Balance everything about life. food, drugs, tv, computer, books, social activity, happy things, sad things. The truth for some people(?) is that being sad feels good but you can't OD on that happy sad feeling. It may be tricky at first... swim is still learning.
peace and luck

HumansAre added 1 Minutes and 33 Seconds later...

also like other people said regular self respect.

[Catnap]

I cant really add to the advice already given.

Having been depressed for years SWIM has come to understand that anti depressants are just like a sticky plaster. They dont deal with the real issue. Also the term 'depression' is very subjective. SWIM mistrusts the medical profession to a degree - they have told SWIM she is clinically depressed and has a chemical imbalance but they have never tested SWIM so how do they know? SWIM feels they just picked the diagnosis out of the air and wrote out the usual prescription for SSRI's and sleeping tablets. While they have helped SWIM to a degree they are not the answer.

SWIM has realised that she just feels sad about the amount of hatred and cruelty in the world and has strong empathic tendencies. SWIM does not fit in to the little boxes that society wants us all to fit in under the label of being 'normal'. What the hell is normal anyway? When SWIM looks at the history of mental health and the way it is 'treated' she sees a different picture to the one mainstream society wishes SWIM to see. This knowledge is helping SWIM adjust her feelings and outlook.

SWIM is sorry she cant be of more help but wants anyone who feels depressed to know that they are not alone.

Catnap added 9 Minutes and 1 Seconds later...

SWIM forgot to add that therapy has been VERY helpful - much more so than the SSRI's (and SWIM has been on a few). Definitely worth a try and a huge help with the right therapist.

[podge]

There's so many people talking about needing drugs to alleviate their depression .... maybe that was the initial reason and logic. But at this stage i dont think its stupid of me to say perhaps drugs are now maintaining or aggrevating yer depression.

Quit all chemicals for a month and then see how you feel....if suicide is on your mind then what have you go to lose ?

[SuprSonik]

Originally Posted by podge

There's so many people talking about needing drugs to alleviate their depression .... maybe that was the initial reason and logic. But at this stage i dont think its stupid of me to say perhaps drugs are now maintaining or aggrevating yer depression.

Quit all chemicals for a month and then see how you feel....if suicide is on your mind then what have you go to lose ?

SWIM has taken breaks periodically, and it never helps. Even if SWIM has no addiction that he needs to feed, he still feels more depressed without them than with them. He begins to feel how he did before he started using drugs, which is even worse than he feels now.

SWIM thinks that drugs may be a cause of depression for some people, but not all. SWIM thinks that the very reason many people start using drugs is because they are depressed, and because they can be used to help with depression.

[podge]

Originally Posted by SuprSonik

SWIM thinks that drugs may be a cause of depression for some people, but not all. SWIM thinks that the very reason many people start using drugs is because they are depressed, and because they can be used to help with depression.

And does swiy know what was the cause of his depression was? What does swiy do with his time when he's not on the internet and what would swy like to do which he isnt doing ?

[aerozeppelin123]

What about going to talk to a therapist? Might help to get things of your chest and possibly resolve problems. Also I don't think this has been mentioned so far, but the dietary supplement 5-HTP taken once or twice daily will raise serotonin levels, which can often lead to improved self-esteem.

Hope things work out OK in the end for you

[jakored]

Originally Posted by Orchid_Suspiria

Swims love for mind altering substances came out of the need to escape hurtful things and sorrow.Ofcourse swim can not always afford to escape in this way.Swim wonders how other people deal with hurtful things and being depressed without the use of chemicals?Maybe swim can find the magic solution he has been looking for for so long with the help of other people on df?Swim certainly hopes!

SWIM can't do psychadelics while depressed, or, as before, he almost went to jail fighting with numerous police officers...

Instead, in a bad frame of mind, think avout 1) things you can change, and start slowly, bit by bit making an effort to change the situations you hate.
2) realize what you cannot change, and accept this as fate, life, karma, God, whatever.
3) Find, or use swims good friends too talk minimally about this sort of thing, if possible. Swim only has 1 actual friend who understands the same sorts of demons which are prevalent in him, and, just confuses or freaks out his other friends...choose wisely.

Unfortunately, swim has had dysthymic (long term low-level) depression for ~8 years, and still struggles with it. Writing, even if noone ever sees swims feelings, or doing something he loves, is an outlet, and can help.

[Capita]

I believes that depression can also be treated with a lot of less evasive things like.
1 A healthy diet
If you look at the correlation of people eating crappy food and depression its pretty surprising. Our dies consist of more saturated fats and less polyunsaturated omega fats. The lack of omega's is believed to contribute to depression. Eating a good diet can do wonders for your body.
2 exercise
Makes more of endorphins come out and just makes you feel better and make me go to bed better at night
4 sleep
eight hours is recommended and exactly what i like to get any less i feel miserable any more i feel groggy still for over sleeping.
5 stop drugs
Cleanse your body

Reputation Comments on this post:

some great points

[~lostgurl~]

Originally Posted by Capita

The lack of omega's is believed to contribute to depression.

This is very true, I've been taking omega 3 supplements for about 6 months now, I ran out once for a week or 2 and I really noticed a big drop in my mood which improved again once I had restocked.

[klonopinz]

Swim would like to point out some curious facts about anti-depressants.

After Lilly Co. completed the development of Prozac (Fluoxetine) and started clinical trials, it had to go through 5 trials, before actually showing a "positive" result in the required two before being accepted by the FDA. The makers of paroxetine (Paxil) had to do even more to get their 2. While at this, placebo consistently show marked improvement for depression in all trials, involving all different drugs. More so, after taking placebo therapy, significant changes in the same parts of the brain that are thought to control important facets of mood took place while antidepressants did not.

From this and many other accounts and facts, Swim has come to the following conclusions: Swim should not take a drug that cheated on its midterms. It just seems that since already billions have been invested for a drug class to exist, these chemicals had to, at any cost, exhibit the desired effects, in order to permit sale. And that the single most tested method (and most safe) for depression is placebo, which is assesed every time any one drug is part of a trial study.

Swim saved the most interesting fact for last. The moment the 73% of improved depressive state patients learned their treatment was a hoax, symptomps quickly returned in most, if not all patients.

Reputation Comments on this post:

this is hoew fluox was for me

[humdroid]

Drug wise, ecstasy opened swims mind and facilitated a lot of anti-depression actions and attitudes, thus indirectly acting as an anti D.
LSD and mushroomy stuff could be seen as one too, as long as they are taken in smll doses and sensibly.
They made swim more sensible.
The laughter off them is also therapy.
Deit and suplements though, for the main.

Waiting it out.
sharing, if you can, but please ensure you share with the right person, as a problem can become doubled and not halfed if not.

Avoiding triggers, life changes.

Y wants to add later: Kanna Kanna and more Kanna (precautions apply as for SSRI though, as Kanna acts like one) Kanna aka Sceletium tortuosum.

[ripdas112]

-Keep your mind off issues (go out with mates etc)
-Exercise
-Stop taking drugs for awhile (your body might be dependant on it, mood etc)

[cra$h]

Swim thinks he's developing a chronic depression, since this is going on for a year or so now; here's the story:

Swim was always a good student, but then grades started to slip, just because he was more focused on his social life. Then grades started to go down, but not bad. He's used to B's, and a couple A's, and it went to B's with a couple C's. Then the grades went A, B,C, D, but never, and still has never failed a course. Swim didn't care though, he has friends instead, they're more importaint for now. 1 1/2 years later,Swim starts using drugs, and becomes a pothead, grades don't improve, swim brags about how great and fun marijuana is, and starts drinking. Then he gets in an exploratory age, and figgures, this drug must be fun, and I'll do it once for the experience. then swim gets hooked on opiates and alcohol (not combined, of course) but keeps it under control. Meanwhile this girl is a HUGE tease, and it seems like we both love eachother unconditionally, but we never get our time, and still havent. This has been happening for almost 3 years, and is the worst it's ever been. To make a long story short now, swim's broken up with his girlfriend (not the one mentioned before) because he's out of control with drug use, and drugs ar his priority. one thing swim never wanted to hear was "wow, all you think about is drugs", and within the last week, he heard it, and was heartbroken. Now family is embarassed from swim drinking, after getting smashed infront of close friends, to everyone's ignorance of swim's drinking. But the last year or so, swim just isn't generally happy. It hurts to smile to big, and realizing that, is a hard pill to swallow, plus the drugs, plus the women, plus the tight rope swim's walking between a sucsessful, educated professional pschiatrist, or a drug addict, living on the streets just lookin' to get high. There's no in between, and it all seems to build up. But swim has been given everything he wants, materiallisticly, but still feels like he's missing something. Companionship would be increadable, but just like the drugs, it's just a distraction from constant reflection of how everything is turning to shit, and most of the time it's out of my control.

Swim's never seeked out for professional help, but when he asked for a psychoanalysis, family just said, yea sure, and never persued; atleast not yet, this was 3 days ago. This could be the blues, but the blues don't last years.

So, being generally unhappy for over a year sound like depression? Throughout swim's life he's always been told he thinks differently, and more frequently will hear voices, especially while listening to music, and hallucinate bugs, or words being mixed up, etc. to the point he has to double take and scrutinize the surroundings for the truth.

[kerang]

Dealing with depression? Swim plows thru it and shutters it of afterwards. He is in a situation where he can afford to crawl under the blanket for some time and is not dependant on filling a job.
Even tho it sucks while it peaks, if swiy imagine a negative peak, he feel like he picks up some valuable pieces of knowledge each time.

[ScorpioSunshine]

Swim has various ways she copes --today, she's crying her eyes out. (no sympathy needed ... swim is upset and needs to cuss and cry and bang her fists)

[humdroid]

Identify and remove the cause,

[cra$h]

what if you are the cause?