fool-proof method of passing a piss test

[DXM expert]

Reply if you would like to learn a fool proof method of passing a piss tests. A little messy but is 100% effective

[cyalume]

lol injecting someone elses urine directly into your empty bladder?

[white_lighter]

i think he is going to try to sell us somthing boys

[Pinkavvy]

nothing is 100%

and if you're trying to spam this board by trying to sell some superclean product, go away.

[dastardlymonkey]

it's misleading to say that you have a "fool proof method".there are certain things you can do,like:take lots of Niacin,drink LOADS of water,piss frequently,eat lots of red meat to get crenitin,when urinating into the cup,only get the mid stream of your urine in there,and make sure it isn't your first piss of the day.these things help your chances but there's no absolutely certain way to pass a drug test unless you happen to be clean.(hah)

[AZMEO]

I have a poratble heated unit. I works great if you are into chems with a short half-life. The only major draw back is that it is a pain in the ass walking around work all day with a warm bag of piss in my pants.

[club222]

I know this is kind of gross, but can't you just get someone else to
piss in a little cup for you before you go and then use that? like just
have them piss in some tube that you can seal and carry with you and
then dump that into the cup that they give you. Every time I've taken a
piss test they always let me go into the bathroom by myself and do it
so it's not like someone is watching over me. Shit, I was so worried
about it once I noticed the person before didn't flush, I almost put
the damn cup in there and took his piss. lol I didn't risk that though,
just used my own and passed anyways

[Eirias]

For employment purposes, which involve unsupervised UAs, the
above substituion should be fine, so long as the urine is at body
temperature. Almsot all drug screen places check the temp
immediately after you provide a sample (I fucked this up once and ended
up in jail as a result of tampering with a drug test).

For probation or government type UAs, especially involving the
justice system, they all almost ALWAYS SUPERVISED (meaning some asshole
who hates his job watches you pull your pants down and often watches
the piss exit your genitalia). The only way to pull of a
substitution in this situation (for males at least) is to have a bag of
body temperature pee with a tube (hopefully flesh-coloured) that
runs along the bottom of your penis. Often the bag will require
some kind of heated jacket to maintain the proper temperature, think
electric or those "hand-warmer" things that you shake up to activate.

Good luck, and if there is any question, be sure to be kinda
pissed off (no pun intended) and irate if complications arise.
The lackeys at the minimum-wage drgu testing site will be a lot more
responsive to someone who is upset because "they" can't seem to get the
test over and done with correctly and is increasing the inconvenience
and humiliation of the situation (and treating them like a loathsome
druggie)-- as compared to someone who is meek or indifferent (read:
scared that they're are going to be caught).

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[PYITE]

i'll let you ALL know an absolutely fool-proof method for passing piss tests FOR FREE -



dont do drugs

[par excellence.]

Originally Posted by PYITE

i'll let you ALL know an absolutely fool-proof method for passing piss tests FOR FREE -



dont do drugs

WOW, REALLY??? I DIDN'T TOTALLY LIKE KNOW THAT!!

[Woodman]

Actually, urine is relatively sterile so if it is passed
immediately from une person to the next, in a sterile
environment and within minutes of testing time, you
CAN safely p[ass a drug test.

This technique has been used by atheletes in the
olympics and the NFL, though I'm sure its been
widely used elsewhere, too.

Don't try this if you haven't the proper tools or
experience.

[smilla]

PEOPLE!!!! NIACIN DOES NOT WORK, PLEASE STOP SAYING THAT IT DOES....IT
MIGHT HELP SPEED UP YOUR METABOLISM BUT ITS NOT GOING TO FLUSH OUT THE
DRUGS

[Muirner]

The way that you can pass a drug screen is easy as this:
- Find someone who dosent smoke pot at all, make sure they havent smoked for a long time, and they arnt going to smoke for a while. Also make sure that they are clean from all other drugs.


- Get Trojan Non Lubricated condoms from a local store


- get your buddie to piss in the condom filling it up 1/2 way or less... take the condom get the air out of it, and tie a knot in the very top.


- Put the condom in hot water, i used an digital pyromitor (sp) to check my water temps and i found it to be successful around ~110*F.


- Keep the water hot and change it as necessary. When you are going to your drug screen if you have to drive a lil while make sure to change the water. Dont EVER use boiling hot water or the hottest water that you can find because it'll make your sample to warm.


- Wear sweatpants with shorts on under the sweatpants. When you are close to your destination take the urine out of the water dry it off, and tie it to the string in your shorts, just like you'd tie your shoe. Make sure that if you lift up your shirt you wont see the shorts under the sweatpants.


- Go into the building where you have to give your screan, tell them that you have to pee really bad. Go into the bathroom drop your sweatpants, untuck the string that is on your shorts from inside your shorts and untie the condom.


- if there is a possibility that there is someone in the room next to you then caugh when u do this. take your fingers, hold onto the bottom part of the condom, squeeze the part that has no piss in it and rip the knot off (usually hold right under the knot) take the warm piss and pour it into the cup. flush the condom down the toilet.


- now walk out with the cup and give it to your person if it has a tempature sensor on the outside you keeping the piss in the water will show it to be warm. Just know that your piss comes out of your body at 90-100*F any lower and your suspicious, and any higher and your suspicious.


- this method is one that i started to do on my own, no one thought it up for me. I have had only one problem where the water was a lil chilly on the way up to my test so i took the condom and i set it on the defrost vents on the dash of the car. turn the heat onto recycle and defrost at as hot as it gets, and most defrosts are ~140*F and will warm the temp of the piss up with out going much over 100*F. remember that the piss has to be the same temp through and through, and that not all of it will be exactly the same temp... i have had it with both the water and the defrost have some of the piss be 97* and some 94*F... any questions just post them i'll be back to answer


Muirner

[DXM expert]

Muriner's system is what i was talking about except instead I heat the sample in 150 degree water before leaving and then I put the sample in a sock that has Hot Hands about 4 stuck to the sides (wool socks) this is a little more convinient and consistently puts the sample at 92-96 degrees everytime. Even with the sample being out of the water, and in the sock,for as much as 2 hrs. I also came uo with this system by myself cause I know that the only way to disquise a tainted sample is with a clean one. Just make sure you don't get a sample from a pregnant female.

[Muirner]

Damn i never thought about socks and the hand warmers, they dont do anything to the condom? and 150* water isnt that like the hottest tap water that you can get from your sink, i know it's close at least.


As for the pregnant female i got a story:

There was a guy who worked at EB (Electric Boat) in Groton, CT. He was told by his company one day that they were giving him a random drug screen, but the thing is that he could take the cup home and pee in it at his own convience. So he goes home and he knows that he is dirty so he has his wife pee in the cup because she dosent use and she hadnt used in a long time. He returns with the cup the next day and he hands it to the guy who was going to send it out. He walks out of the office, happy, smiling, not a single care. Well the next day they call him into the office, and he's like "was their a problem?" They said, Good news "You were clean." Bad news "You are pregnant" pack your shit up and leave asap.


So not only did the guy lose his job but he also found out his wife is pregnant before even she knew. what a shitty day that was


p.s. that story is right from a drug councelor.


Muirner

[miller77]

[neoken]

where SWIM gets drug tested he said he had a mirror infront of the
toilet and the officer watches u the whole time. good look with that
one =\

[austin]

I WOULD!!!

[Muirner]

you would what??


Muirner

The best way to pass a piss test is to just not do anything at all.

[Isochrist]

Originally Posted by Muirner

p.s. that story is right from a drug councelor.


Muirner

I've heard the same story, sans the drug counselor. In fact, I continue to hear this story told time and time again. It doesn't make sense to me that someone who is testing urine for drugs would also test for pregnancy. I searched around the web and found this http://www.snopes.com/pregnant/drugtest.htm


Unfortunately it was last updated in 2001.

[Muirner]

Originally Posted by Isochrist

I've heard the same story, sans the drug counselor. In fact, I continue to hear this story told time and time again. It doesn't make sense to me that someone who is testing urine for drugs would also test for pregnancy. I searched around the web and found this http://www.snopes.com/pregnant/drugtest.htm


Unfortunately it was last updated in 2001.

If your working for Electric Boat, your working for the government, that is the reason why i say this is true. I also have a few friends who hold high security cards at EB and they confirm this story. True maybe it is a way for most councelors to try to get u to not get fake urine, but this time it was for real, the place i went to for my program was a place that specialized in rehab for companys.


Muirner

[austin]

I DO!!!!