Poetry About Pills

[thrillme]

Little Magics

one pill two pill three pill four
come on just....once more
i've got to chase this utopian revery
the entire real world is just too much for me
somehow this seems like the perfect escape
these little magics take me so far away
whether it's up or down i go
it doesn't really matter anymore
dreams and fantasy don't seem so out of reach
as i fall in love with every thing i meet
now life flows so beautifully
and slowly i'm dropping so carefully
my feet seem find the ground
the world is once again upside down
i can't seem to stop this desire
i must catch this paradise that i have finally aquired
one pill two pill three pill four
come on...just one more

Written by SWIM

What do you think? It's not SWIM's best work......

[Sick Jack]

hi,


do you know that a young french writer did publish a book called "novels under xtc" ??? His name is frederic beigbeider, I don't know if the book has been translated to english, but it's interesting to read.


Been creative is everytime a good idea, so CONGRATULATIONS !!!

[Tweak]

Bravo Vyki, well written

Id love to see some your other work! <img border="0" src= "smileys/smiley14.gif">

[TheCecil]

Pills
Blue, Purple, orange, White.
Whatever
It seems so alluring
Pop a pill…….
Flowing through your veins, your arteries….
Morphing you,
Fabricating feelings
Real feelings….
Making you Feel…..
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Whatever the Fuck you want to feel
Synthetic emotions

Take a pill
We take what we have in our brains, amplify it, put it in us……..and damn
Does it feel good, too good
We weren’t supposed to feel this good
Humans are addictive creatures, give them something that makes them feel.
We yearn for love, happiness, sex, contentment. Humans hate suffering
Sick? Take a pill
Tired? Take a pill
Sad? Take a pill
Happy? Take a pill
Take a Fucking pill for everything

Its so easy
Its so easy
I fucking hate it

Where the fuck is reality
It all seems so fake,
It all seems so fake.
The emotions are oh so real. The feelings are real
Everything you feel is real
We have mastered artificial happiness
Chemical Bliss.

The journey is real
The feelings are intense
Your brain knows no difference
Until its empty…


-Cecil

[i like wimmins]

I've never seen someone get so mad about ecstasy before.
In the poem, you seem to go back and forth about whether you like E or not. It would be cool if you developed this effect so that the piece seemed to be like a debate within yourself - at the moment its just jumbled and confusing.
Also, the way you used the word addictive, as in "Humans are addictive creatures", means that you are addicted to humans. Maybe try something like this: "Humans are creatures, prone to addiction".
I don't want to censor the way you express yourself, but there are so many words that you could use in place of the word "Fuck". Once or twice in a poem is cool, but any more seems kinda repetitive ad unimaginative.

Anyway, feel free to ignore me dude, but I hope I've helped a bit.

[TheCecil]

any help is appreciated, i like critisism it helps out alot, thanks.


i wrote it a little faded, so yeah it does go back and fourth alot. but thanks for the insight