Opinions - Help SWIM with (irrational???) fears.

[unfitwellhappy]

Basically, SWIM is incredibly silly... SWIM suffered from a period of depression about 4 years ago which was treated with Prozac (Fluoxetine). SWIM I know was off this after 6 months and stayed clear of drugs.

Last Saturday, SWIM did 3.5 e's for the first time since the late nineties. SWIM had a pretty good time, took 0.5 at 10:30, 1 at 13:00, 1 at 18:00 and 1 at 23:00.

SWIM went home and passed out at 2am.

Anyway, SWIM woke up on Sunday and couldn't find his shoes - SWIM felt OK went to the cinema and got on with things.

Monday, SWIM worrying (and really focussing) on losing his shoes.
Monday night - SWIM found shoes and slept OK

Tuesday - SWIM woke up at 5:45 for work and was OK for 10 minutes then got a feeling of dread, anxiety, guilt - Took some St John's Wort and slept OK

Wednesday - SWIM experienced more of the same but worse in morning - OK in afternoon, few beers in evening and felt really really down. SWIM took 150mg of 5-HTP before bed with SJW. Sleep interrupted every hour with very vivid dreams (SWIM not sure if they were dreams as SWIM not sure if he was actually asleep).

Thursday - SWIM feels like crying. SWIM still has feelings of anxiety, guilt.

SWIM very scared of falling in to depression again.
SWIM just wants to feel better
SWIM would like some feedback - SWIM never touching E again.....aparently.

[Euphoric]

Sorry to hear about this mess. SWIY must not feel guilty for trying to enjoy himself. But as such things are oft deeply psychologically rooted, it is recommended that SWIY doesn't take drugs that he will feel guilty about taking for whatever reason.
SWIY should try to put it out of SWIY's mind as best you can, keep SWIyourself busy and get on with life as usual. SWIY should stay with friends (who won't be doing drugs) to help keep SWIY's mind off the subject and keep SWIM social. Try to keep busy, exercise, go out, read, learn a foreign language, fall in love. Keep up with the 5htp. Eat healthy. Do things that make SWIY feel good about swiyourself. Volunteer somewhere. Take a homeless person out for a meal. Hopefully one of these suggestions can make SWIY feel better. Oh and Rhodiola Rosea does help some people.
And remember, what's done is done. You can't take back the past. Learn from mistakes and don't let the past ruin the only important time, the present.

[meep]

Could be the tuesdays blues. You took a fair few pills so sounds reasonable.
Hold tight, they normally subside. Keep on the fruit and try to get lots of sleep (helps swim) Normally the blues clear within a week. Give it a little more time and keep us updated.

[unfitwellhappy]

SWIM thanks you for your quick replies..

SWIM felt good a little while ago, then lay down on couch and felt the dread...

sux.

SWIM will keep you all updated...i'm sure work tomorrow will be hard for SWIM..

[spiderpig]

Swim has had a similar period after taking pills four days in a row sometimes as much as four a day... He felt very guilty and paranoid, swim was afraid that he was hallucinating and felt scared of talking to people because he was so paranoid. Swim was also getting random headrushes which felt like a seretonin surge but were rather pleasant ... The feeling passed in a week or so, swim guesses the pills were laced with methamphetamine. Just give it time, swims advice should swiy ever take e again is not to swallow so many. Swim usually doesn't exceed 1.5...

Hope swiy feels better soon, cheer up mate .

[.Infamous.]

SWIM has had major experience with Fluoxetine and E and would just like to remind anybody out there that taking X whilst being treated with Fluoxetine can cause uncurable mental scarring. Back on topic, maybe SWIY was just feeling low because of the comedown and the thoughts of depression just amplified this and made him anxious? Depression is a barrier that can be broken/fixes by thoughts alone, so i'd advise SWIY to keep thinking happy things but also to take his E in moderation.

[Nagognog2]

What goes up - must come down. Until one understands the underlying dynamics involved. Read some books. Take some walks. Watch your dreams. Above all - relax. Everything becomes clear.

[Merkury]

Having dealt with a great deal of emotional shit anyway, whenever SWIM crashes from speed or E, SWIM always knows that its because of the drugs. It's like what you have to think when you start having a bad trip, this is only because of the drugs, I'll be sober soon (or in the case of your E crash, you'll stop crashing soon). Next time you crash and you're depressed just try to think if you have any reason to be depressed besides the E? If it's nothing else, then look at it as a illegitimate emotion, and don't let it bother you.

If the crash is too unbearable SWIY may want to try some benzodiazapines to come down easier.

If you're still feeling shitty for a few days afterwards there may be something else going on. SWIM's not sure if 3 + 1/2 rolls is enough to be seriously neurotoxic.

And also there's always the question of if it was MDMA or not, you can't know what's in your rolls unless you made them or you have a kit.

And if you're really worried about the neurotoxicity, taking fluxeotine three hours or so after the E will prevent the neurotoxcicity.

Reputation Comments on this post:

Self incrimination is a no no. Please use SWIY and SWIM throughout the ENTIRE post.

[Nagognog2]

Originally Posted by Merkury

And if you're really worried about the neurotoxicity, taking fluxeotine three hours or so after the E will prevent the neurotoxcicity.

The jury remains out on this one.

Knowing what you are taking is the best bet. A test kit can tell you what is there - but not how much of what. Pure MDMA crystal would be ideal. 120mg. to begin. Then another 40mg. one hour later if one is enjoying the ride. If one takes too much - one will pay the piper later.