Interesting cannabis experience

[Egnarodude]

So Swim has taken an opportunity to smoke pot the other day and noticed a wierd feeling... Swim got wierd headaches like a cranial headache and felt as if swim was ... forcing myself to relax? I dont know... I know smoking weed is probably not such a good idea for swim at the present time going through an existential (yes i am no im not) stage of life, but the opportunity presented itself... And naturally, it was a bit wierd, very interesting, but very wierd. Things while stoned seemed to make a bit more sense, however the cranial headaches made swim worried a bit. Something that Swim also finds intriguing was the fact that he could tell that these cranial headaches seemed to be caused by him not allowing himself to fall into the whole debate between the yes I am no Im not train of thought. It was kind of mentally exhausting but proved rewarding. The almost frightening part of the experience was the thought of well... I guess this makes things simpler... But then when the weed started to wear off, Swim found himself wanting more, which isnt necessarily bad, but if it is being used to mask symptoms of an unstable emotional state, it could worsen the situation. Swim definitely is grateful for the fact that he recognizes this fact. The creepiest part of the experience was the next day, Swim was doing community service and just felt a little bit more together... he didnt fight it(much) but the thought of wait... is this because I smoked weed yesturday? crept into swims mind... Its funny, because although I did not enjoy the high that much, sitting down and writing about it seems to interest me. So I guess that I wrote this for two reasons, self enjoyment and to see if anyone else has an interesting experience like this or anything.

ciao!

[augentier]

is this swiy's first time smoking? it's normal to get headaches every once in a while from smoking weed..sometimes when you think too hard about something when your intention is to relax and unwind, the headache will start and the high won't be very enjoyable. when my cat Toonces is going through this self-conflict like you describe (which is currenty an ongoing process for her too) ..smoking puts her mind into a neutral perspective if she begins analyzing whatever issues are at hand..it can be confusing when the high wears off because then you're back at your previous mind set, but it helps later on to be able to remember back to the neutral point of view and get a better idea about something from your own temporary unbiased view. does that make sense at all? if this is swiy's first time smoking or if he doesn't smoke often, maybe the high is more intense and inducing some sort of confused/paranoid mindset?

[Egnarodude]

Well, this is definitely not the first time Swim has smoked pot. However Swim had not smoked for quite some time and Swim did not get stoned like this for quite some time. The idea of being put into a paranoid mindset induced by the marijuana was what i think was causing the headaches.... I was not allowing myself to be paranoid... which in my mind is a good thing, a powerful thing... However I am seeing a therapist at the moment and have been for quite some time... so this thought process of "well if i HAVE to smoke weed to be okay....." blah blah blah... but when I was stoned it was like ... I knew I was stoned but I wasnt stoned... you know what I mean? I was able to figure out everything in a very neutral mindset, like you said. The interesting part is the fact that i WANTED to feel bad about smoking... but I didnt let myself... do you understand what I mean? I mean I felt like I was supposed to feel bad about smoking... Which is obviously not the case, however I have been on probation for such a long time that this has been hammered into my head as something that I am supposed to feel. So at the time i felt a little off.... a little unstable as if the slightest thing would put me off... so I was particularly careful.... anyways... The most intersting part of the neutral mindset idea was the fact that I acknowledged the fact that yes... I think this... but what am I going to DO about it?....

It was at this point that i realized that yes smoking pot mellowed me out let me analyze things in a neutral mindset, but realized smoking pot does not make the problem go away.... (id been doing this for a while lol) It wasnt like a big epiphone or anything, in fact it was quite annoying to realize mainly because I thought, well shit... that means i have to... DO stuff lol

i am getting off of probation in a week or so... thank god!