It robs you of your very soul and you don't even notice.

[methMADMAN]

It will never cease to amaze me how methamphetamine can change a person in an incredibly short period of time. It becomes the central focus of their lives and they become willing to lie cheat and steal for it. They risk SERIOUS troubles with the law and risk going to prison, and all the while they don't even see that it has taken hold of them. Those around them, those who love them see how this evil stuff starts to steal their soul, yet most of them will never realize it for themself. The sad part is they evenutally lose their minds completely. They lose any capacity to know the real joy in life that they once could, and many times there is no turning back. It makes me really sad, and really greatful I've been through the fire and come out the other side.

Reputation Comments on this post:

forgot to swim.

[izzy31]

SWIM's father has told him several times before - "Speed sneaks up on you"

[cyndi]

All swiymm said was so true. It takes and gives nothing back but the madness.

Reputation Comments on this post:

kick the wisdom gilrie!

[methMADMAN]

Swim is clean 8 months now. Swim used to inject up to 1 gram at a time of the purest ice swim could get. Swim was connected to the biggest supplier in the local area. Swim got busted for DUI and blew a 0.0. It was a meth DUI because swim had over 100 tracks on swim's arms. Swim spent Christmas in jail and lost nearly everything swim owns, some to tweakers some to the law. All in all swim spent 26 days in December 2006 in jail. Swim firmly believes this is the best thing that ever happpened to swim. Swim now goes to AA and NA meetings and is doing well. Swim is clean since Dec. 8 2006 and is very happy. Swim gets a craving once in a while but swim remembers the hell swim was in over meth and swim gets over it. Swim is more than willing to help anyone he can get out of this living hell. Swim wishes he could help people not have to go where he has gone.

Here's something to think about: I have known heroin junkies that are scared of tweakers.....
Also....What's the difference between a heroin junkie and a tweaker? The junkie will steal your stuff, but the tweaker will steal your stuff then help you look for it!

[augentier]

SWIM has met some serious tweakers and their lives are pathetic..one threw a knife at her, which hit and stuck in a door, while he said "You tell anyone you know me, i'll finish you off" She had just met him, and was just over there to smoke weed with him. Crazy fuckers! Another one she knows doesn't know what she says half the time and lies about going to jail just to get out of seeing her children, fucks every guy she knows who will give her tweak. Of course these are the really bad people who have lost all self control and self respect.

SWIM's glimpse into that world showed her it how bleak life can be..thankfully she did not care for meth the one time she tried it. What is it about this drug that does this to people? There are crackheads and coke feinds who are probably just as bad..but it seems more prevalent with meth..

Reputation Comments on this post:

tell it like it is, thank you

[cyndi]

Swim really wishes she knew. It is the worst drug swim ever did and really regrets. Swim kicked coke fairly easily, heroine tried once blah, but meth really really is a hard one to kick. It will make one almost insane if they can't get it when cravings hit. It is hard to describe if one never was on it. Swim always tells anyone if they never tried it, don't. It ruined her life and is still taking. Swim feels she will never be the same again. It is such a hopeless feeling. Yeah swim has seen some horrible things with tweaks.

Heroine people yeah just as bad, will rob and all of that. However, never have seen a violent one. Tweaks get crazy violent especially during the come down phase. Swim was crying the other day as someone was telling her that a family member on meth hit her baby and called him cuss words. That is not uncommon actually. Swim's friend used to call her little daughter every cuss word under the sun. She was so sweet, broke her heart. Swim's friend wasn't always like that till she got on meth. It just changes people. She hates that vile drug.

[dogzz]

Originally Posted by methMADMAN

Here's something to think about: I have known heroin junkies that are scared of tweakers.....
Also....What's the difference between a heroin junkie and a tweaker? The junkie will steal your stuff, but the tweaker will steal your stuff then help you look for it!

[then help you look for it] That is so true, That statement brought back some old memories... swim had to laugh at how sad yet true it is....the list of strange, criminal, sick, compulsive behaviour is long enough to be a book when it comes to the lives of tweakers....And rather than make another post, in the myths about meth.....the one about it taking over a year of use for it to get to a person in swim's opinion is WAY off. Swim's seen and known too many people that were off and gone in a matter of weeks. What were good people....meth turned into lying, stealing, tweaks that would trade their mother, their children to the devil for a little more meth.

Madman...congrats on 8 months...awesome job at gettin your life back... to all the people that have had meth take over their lives...and took it back...congratulations.. Only another meth addict in recovery knows what a bitch it is to stop....Take a little pride in what you've accomplished, then give some support to another addict....to swim, it is kind of like, a way to get swim's soul back.....might as well put all those years of abuse to good use...

Swim gets spam about using real life experience to earn college credits towards a degree.....Swim wonders if we could use our pasts for a degree in substance abuse counselling....a degree in "methology"? LOL...

[methMADMAN]

Swim has worked all 12 steps. Is still working 9 and does 10-12 daily. Swim has gotten a gift swim never had before as a result. For the first time in swim's life swim feels "as good" as anyone swim meets. Swim never in life had that feeling and swim is greatful. Swim also doesn't feel "better than" anyone. Swim feels "right sized". Swim works with other addicts and alcoholics and swim finds great rewards in doing so. Swim's one and only hope is that swim never forgets where he came from and never walks away from this lifestyle.

[Police Officer]

Originally Posted by methMADMAN

Here's something to think about: I have known heroin junkies that are scared of tweakers.....
Also....What's the difference between a heroin junkie and a tweaker? The junkie will steal your stuff, but the tweaker will steal your stuff then help you look for it!

LOL

This is probably one of the best threads on all of the df forum. Congrats for kickin the meth madman. I meet people everyday who wish they could do what you've done. I sincerely hope you stay the course. I am not trying to talk down to you when I say this, but I am proud of you. GREAT JOB, AND KEEP IT UP!!!!

Reputation Comments on this post:

	What do you think we're doing? This is education.
	I am not one to believe there are many good cops, but from what I've seen of you, I feel somewhat hopeful!

[methMADMAN]

Thanks Police Officer it is appreciated. Ironically, I am very greatful to a few deputy sherrifs and a judge from around here for seing to it I got busted and got help. They set it up, and pretty much railroaded me but it's been one of the best things that ever happened to me. At least they cared, and I live in a small community and I see them all from time to time and they never fail to ask how I am doing or tell me I am looking a lot better.

[Sky Walker]

Originally Posted by savingJenniB

I am embarrassed to go back to this restaurant, which is in my walking neighborhood! What can I do? Because I know the jacket is stolen - it has become my karma as well as hers.

Jeeez-us! Calm yourself, it is just an item of clothing and encase you're forgetting, your niece is homeless and greatly in need of extra layers. If anything, Karma will have you for not buying her a jacket in the first place or at the very least, for not giving her one you already own. Do you know how horrible it is trying to get to sleep outside when your're near freezing? No amount of embarrassment could ever warm you on such occasions.

[tanz]

You guys should get together and make DARE commercials together.

Reputation Comments on this post:

	lame
	theres no need to belittle people for sharing good advice
	Zing! LOL. My word what a bunch of whiney idiots. "It's the drugs what made me do it your honour."

[Codehead]

Meth won't make you a bad person (violent or that…) unless you already were a bad person. It's same with the alcohol, alcohol won't make you violent unless you really are violent...

[methMADMAN]

Originally Posted by Codehead

Meth won't make you a bad person (violent or that…) unless you already were a bad person. It's same with the alcohol, alcohol won't make you violent unless you really are violent...

That's a load of horse shit if I ever heard one. Meth most definately can make a person angry and violent and I know scores of people who never were theives before meth but now they steal everything that isn't nailed down. Obviously you don't know a heavy tweaker scene like is found in this country.

[runfrom MURDER]

Originally Posted by methMADMAN

That's a load of horse shit if I ever heard one. Meth most definately can make a person angry and violent and I know scores of people who never were theives before meth but now they steal everything that isn't nailed down. Obviously you don't know a heavy tweaker scene like is found in this country.

I agree.

SWIM is now extremely more cranky now since he started using meth. SWIM flys off the handle easily, and will yell at a moments notice. SWIM hates it, and doesn't even notice it until too late. It's causing lots of unneeded fights and arguements with family.

SWIM will be working on controlling his anger now.

[chrisbx]

Methmadman I disagree. I am a quilified drugs worker in th UK.

The AA and 12 step programs have there place and work for some people.

Addiction is not an illness that can not be cured. There is no evidence for this as an absolute.

Swim took e's like smarties, snorted a ton of peruvian marching powder and opened the doors of perception way to far. Swim no longer has that lifestyle choice and does other things because in the end drugs are boring and people on them become boring which is why most people grow out of them. without ever getting into any problems.

Meth is the same as any other drug and the cycle is the same experimental, recreational and problem use. Which one you take the ride on depends as was mentioned before on this thread on people not taking control of there own lives and making poor decisions that may or may not be as a result of drug seeking behaviour are the issue not the drugs.

Meth like all drugs illicit or leagal have dangers attached to their use, People need to be educated with facts in order that they can make informed choices of the risks they take in life.

[methMADMAN]

Originally Posted by hit12

Methmadman I disagree. I am a quilified drugs worker in th UK.

The AA and 12 step programs have there place and work for some people.

Addiction is not an illness that can not be cured. There is no evidence for this as an absolute.

Swim took e's like smarties, snorted a ton of peruvian marching powder and opened the doors of perception way to far. Swim no longer has that lifestyle choice and does other things because in the end drugs are boring and people on them become boring which is why most people grow out of them. without ever getting into any problems.

Meth is the same as any other drug and the cycle is the same experimental, recreational and problem use. Which one you take the ride on depends as was mentioned before on this thread on people not taking control of there own lives and making poor decisions that may or may not be as a result of drug seeking behaviour are the issue not the drugs.

Meth like all drugs illicit or leagal have dangers attached to their use, People need to be educated with facts in order that they can make informed choices of the risks they take in life.

Heavy use is not all that makes up addiction. If it just got "boring" obviously you have never been addicted you do not understand addiction and therefore in my mind have no business spouting opinions on it. Most likely if you do not believe in addiction then you are probably also rather worthless at conseling addict on how to stop. The same goes for you psyche, and I really mean no offense to either of you, but if you haven't been an addict and lived closely with addicts you just aren't qualified to talk shit.

I know scores of addicts who use and bad horrendous things happen due to their use over and over. They go to jail, prison, get robbed, beaten, stabbed shot, lose their kids, lose all contact with their families that once loved them, yet they continue to use. They admit it's long past the stage where there is any fun involved in it, but they can't stop because miserable as they are stopping is unbearably painful to them. Without professional help (which often the refuse to take, or simply aren't offered, they cannot stop on their own. That is addiction, simply using a lot and getting tired of it is not addiction. Addiction is over diagnosed, and this is why so many people who do drugs can just stop on their own.

Not everyone who is addicted needs AA or NA, but a recent study shows that they are up to three times more likely to succeed with such a support group. What makes me mad is when fools try and tell me what AA and NA is about who do not know. The reason why it makes me mad is because I know a lot of people out there desparately need that kind of help, and people who go around trying to debunk it that either didn't need it themselves or just don't know what they hell they are talking about perhaps are ruining the chances of those who might be helped, that need it so badly.

Reputation Comments on this post:

	Whiney and rude. Stop hanging out with so many junkies. Maybe that is part of the problem.
	Everyone is entiteled to an opinion,

[Police Officer]

Originally Posted by Codehead

Meth won't make you a bad person (violent or that…) unless you already were a bad person. It's same with the alcohol, alcohol won't make you violent unless you really are violent...

I dont think I could disagree more.

Originally Posted by methMADMAN

That's a load of horse shit if I ever heard one. Meth most definately can make a person angry and violent and I know scores of people who never were theives before meth but now they steal everything that isn't nailed down. Obviously you don't know a heavy tweaker scene like is found in this country.

I dont think I could agree more.

Originally Posted by fnord

Methmadman,no offense but maybe your just going on a tirade against meth due too your bad experience with it and the fact your a substance abuse consular?drugs arnt the problem drug laws and stupid people are the problem.

I wouldnt call it a tirade, I would call it an opinion. I also think that his opinion counts more than most because he's lived the life and knows alot about the subject from first hand experience. Bad or good. And of course since it is meth that we're talking about, and no one ever has a good experience with it (overall, not the momentary high), he probably is talking about a bad experience.

Hell, you don't intentionally quit something if its good for you. You dont "recover" from good things.

Originally Posted by methMADMAN

Swim has seen hundreds of people ruin there lives because of addiction to this drug, and incidentally swim never stole or anything like that. I knew a lot of people who didn't, but swim knows a lot of people who never stole before meth and did as soon as things got out of conrol. If you people honestly believe that there a lot of people out there doing meth responsibly go hang out int he tweak scene and stick with it a while and see what happens to people. There are a few people that don't get crazy with it, but they are a small minority.

Well spoken.

Originally Posted by hit12

Methmadman I disagree. I am a quilified drugs worker in th UK.

Now, I'm really not trying to argue, of pick a fight...but... If I told you I was a Police Officer, and I misspelled Police Officer, would you believe me?

[izzy31]

Originally Posted by Codehead

Meth won't make you a bad person (violent or that…) unless you already were a bad person. It's same with the alcohol, alcohol won't make you violent unless you really are violent...

a few months ago, SWIM was completely identical to Al Pacino in the second half of Scarface - you wouldnt be able to tell any difference in SWIM's behavior or Tony Montana's.

(btw that was great acting)

[fnord]

i agree i know many a hard core tweekster and there not bad people.swif used heavily for a long time and his only problem was staying awake too long and thus loosing contact with reality.meth may add to a persons thievery/violence just like alcohol.its not the drugs fault its the persons for being too week to control there hobby in the first place.

methmadman,no offense but maybe your just going on a tirade against meth due too your bad experience with it and the fact your a substance abuse consular?drugs arnt the problem drug laws and stupid people are the problem.

[methMADMAN]

Swim has seen hundreds of people ruin there lives because of addiction to this drug, and incidentally swim never stole or anything like that. I knew a lot of people who didn't, but swim knows a lot of people who never stole before meth and did as soon as things got out of conrol. If you people honestly believe that there a lot of people out there doing meth responsibly go hang out int he tweak scene and stick with it a while and see what happens to people. There are a few people that don't get crazy with it, but they are a small minority.

[fnord]

once again,addiction and silly actions are caused by people not drugs,if someones driving down the road sober doing 110mph and they crash and die its there fault not the cars.the car is only a vehical of there destruction.

people are responsible for there own actions,what your saying is that people have no free will while under the influence.this is a common theme among rehabs and drug consulars i STRONGLY believe this will only lead to failure among those that want to quit and also takes the responsibility away from there actions,which is where they should be focusing on, not trying to place the blame on an inanimate object.

[methMADMAN]

Of course people are responsible for their actions and what you are saying about recovery is absolute nonsense. Treatment teaches people to be accountable. What's most ridiculous about what your saying is that you seem to think that people make sane rational decisions when they are under then influence and that's absolute crap as well. Why do so many people who swear they won't end up driving drunk? Why do so many people have sex with people they wouldn't have had sex with sober? And meth is no different. When a person has had no food or sleep for two weeks they don't make sane rational decisions. If you actually believe they do, then I don't believe you've ever really done a good run of meth, because it just aint so. People are responsible for taking the drug and responsible for abusing the drug, and therefore they are also responsible for their actions on said drug, but it is an absolute fact that abuse of these substances impares peoples judgement. Am I clear?

[fnord]

yes substance abuse impares peoples judgment no doubt,and yes rehabs like AA tell people that they are powerless over alcohol/whatever.this is takeing the responsibility off the person and putting it on the substance.why cant people just admit,im weak and i let my drug use get out of control,i shouldent use drugs?if i stick my hand in the toaster should i claim toasters are dangerous?or that im stupid?i just feel that people should take responsibility and not ignore there problems.if you drink a bunch of alcohol and turn into a asshole you should be smart enuf not to drink or find a way to fix your problem,not just say alcohol is bad and turns everyone into a raging violent asshole.remember to play nice,no need for our argument to get the thread shut down.

[methMADMAN]

Because what you are saying is your interpretation of what AA says, and not what in fact it really says. A person who is addicted is powerless over what alchol/drugs/fill in the blank does to them and their lives. AA is all about accountability, but it is not in fact weakness. Addiction is considered by almost every reputable medical organization worldwide as a disease. And if you don't think it's a disease, then fine it's a condition, call it what you will, but the point is, that once a person is really truly addicted, there is no coming back from it. It's true some people can quit their drug of choice and recede into alcohol and perhaps Marijajuna, and lead a somewhat normal life, but the pathologicalrelationship with mind and mood altering substances remains. In the event that the person returns to using their "drug of choice" they can perhaps maintain some control for a while, usually just long enough to feed their denial sufficiently that they can justify continued use. Inevitably their disease/conditon/whatever you like to call it, will worsen.

So before you start telling me about what AA is all about why don't your read my signature and heed it's implied advice?