Addicted to cocaine Indeed : Trying to limit use as opposed to abstaining.

[dbjay417]

SWIM mentioned that SWIM was trying to stay away from the cocaine for a few weeks to deminish his tolerance and also to a lesser extent to to prove to SWIMs self that he could stop using if he wanted to. Well not even a week into this little venture SWIM has indeed failed. SWIM could blame his environment (living with another user) but SWIM has always been honest with himself about his short comings, and refuses to be one of those people who think everything is okay when its not. So SWIM just wanted to tell some one that swim is indeed addicted to cocaine. SWIM denied the first temptation, but fell without a fight to the second temtation.

In failing to quit cold turkey swim has desided to try to limit the ammount used per session in hopes of gradually restoring self control.

SWIMs "habit" has yet to spiral out of control though. The ammount of cocaine consumed in a single night has risen from 1 gram to one 8th of an ounce in the past year, however the frequency of SWIMs use has dropped drastically from 4 to 5 nights a week to one night a week and two nights a week on a very rare occasion (roughly once every 2 months). SWIM likes using and doesn't really care to give his use of coke up for good, but swim also needs to make sure his habit stays within his budget.

SWIM just wanted to get this all off his chest, face his issues directly, and also reach out to anyone in a similar situation. If you've read this all, SWIM thanks you.

[Heretic.Ape.]

Good luck to SWIY in his endeavor to cut down and maintain control.

[beentheredonethatagain]

I heard swim say he too would like to learn to use in moderation, good luck so far he is o for 700 in that dept.
one is too many and a thousand , well its just not enough

[cyndi]

Originally Posted by beentheredonethatagain

one is too many and a thousand , well its just not enough

Very wise words. No matter how much you get, it is never enough. I mean the original poster swiy is kidding himself. That was pretty much what got swim in the mess she is in. Oh yeah just a hit or two and swim will be ok and feel much better because all problems will go away. Who was swim kidding? She knows triggers and ignored them. Sorry kiddo, abstainance not moderation is the answer. Not what swiy wants to hear but swim hates to see swimmers fight those demons, and it will hook swiy before he knows it.

[epote]

abstainance not moderation is the answer

SWIM dissagrees, its prety much like dieting down. You cant abstaine from food, you HAVE to eat. Most hard dieters after dieting down tend to have a binge eating pattern. It CAN be controled, it just tends to become more pronounced for a few weeks every year,then back on track etc.

SWIM was/is there, and can tell you, the craving for food (bad qulitity, gonna make you fat food) is the worst think, if you can control that you can control anything

[cyndi]

Originally Posted by epote

SWIM dissagrees, its prety much like dieting down. You cant abstaine from food, you HAVE to eat. Most hard dieters after dieting down tend to have a binge eating pattern. It CAN be controled, it just tends to become more pronounced for a few weeks every year,then back on track etc.

SWIM was/is there, and can tell you, the craving for food (bad qulitity, gonna make you fat food) is the worst think, if you can control that you can control anything

Well been there and done that. About a zillion times. So good luck to swiy. In swim's case she knows she can't go there so must abstain, didn't say it was easy. It never is easy but swiy knows what is good for swiy.

Swim is chewing on the comparison junk food to meth in her case. Noooo swim can easily cut down on the junk food as she is vain. Meth is totally different, swim does it all the way or none, period. There is no middle ground in swim's case.

[pankreeas]

I think it's important in a situation like this to view your relationship with lady cola as you would one with a human partner. Is it an abusive relationship? can other people see it but still you refuse to? swim thinks of cocaine as his mistress, the opiate family as his low class prostitutes due to the physical symptoms, and marijuana as his wife. Swim indeed does love marijuana the most but also gets bored in that relationship so he occasionally calls on his other sources of fun. Heck sometimes they all get together for a good romp. But once he starts spending too much time with his mistress, good ole mary stops havin any effect... so he shows her he still loves her and they take a getaway.


THE END