Getting a relationship back after telling my girlfriend I use cocaine???

[CABS205]

Okay, this might be a little long...So I'm apologizing ahead of time.


Susan, she's my best friend. We started off friends in high school. Then senior year (at the end), we started dating. We were together for 2 years until we got married.


Seriously, the love of my life, my best friend, can't imagine my life without her.


In August, I madea huge mistake. I told her I was using Cocaine. I wanted to be honest with her. And I wasn't usingit A LOT, just key shots everyday. Then that's when she broke up with me.


3 months later, I'm still depressed about it. She's "moved" on. Rebound type of shit. I know her too well for this. All of our CLOSE friends, see us being together eventually....


BUT, it's driving me crazy. I can't seem to sleep, eat, can't focus. We haven't talked in 3 months or have seen each other. The sad thing is that, I lost my best friend. I come home from work or whatever, and just want to call her and tell her little things or whatever. I miss her.


I want to call her, but she feels so betrayed and tells me that "We will never be a couple again." That's a lie. What do I do? I'm getting clean. And I realized that she's the one for me.


I need help. What do I do???? Give her space????

[Pinkavvy]

give her some space. lose you dependency ... on coke and her. it's not healthy. perhaps if it was to work out, when you're clean, and not dependant on her, she will see that and come back .... and perhaps not.

[CABS205]

Well, the thing is that I have faith in it...And I do have to say, I did depend on her when I was into the whole drug scene. And I know, I should be more independant when it comes to that. BUT, when you say space...How much? How long? Cuz, we haven't had contact in months.

[psyko79]

Tell her that you're not a junkie, that you can stop anytime. Show her you can stop for a month, and maybe she will understand. Try to explain her why you take drugs and why you're really sad to lose her.

[CABS205]

I told her a month after we broke up...BUT, she was still pissed off...so to push my buttons, se started seeing her ex (who is a total dick) a week after we broke up...Since, then we haven't talked...I've been avoiding her...but, one day I accidently sat on my cell phone and dialed her number. Out of all the numbers, her's was dialed. I swear, that's fate. Maybe it's just me. It haven't done it, so I think I'm improving. I guess.

[Maxamillion]

Relationships can be hard, man. It would be healthy to get involved in thethings that make you happy- whatever it is (music,sports,etc)-time has its funny way of "healing" (either things work out between you two or you move on). Don't let this consume you.....I was in a very tough situation about a year ago, and I reacted very unhealthly to this....now I have learned from my mistakes,and I think I'm Dr. Phil. If you are feeling "very fucking bad"....seek out some professional help (nothing wrong with that either).......I would advise not to getyourself into a drug binge at the moment--this will cloud your mind and have you acting nutty...just slow your roll for a minute and take inventory on your life. Good Luck......

[CABS205]

Oh, don't worry...I have been seeking professional help....I don't dwell on it as much as I did before....But, there are times when I'm just thinking and thinking (man, I hate thinking sometimes) that I just get all depressed about it....


BUT, I know we'll end up together. If you were my family or best friends, you would know too. People break up....And during this breakup, I'm finding myself (I know, everyone says that)...And I'm growing as a person. So, God, faith, destiny will help us. Well, that's just me. And my relationship.


Hey, Maxamillion.. If you don't mind me asking, what happened in your situation? You don't have to answer that, if you don't want to.

[e-Thom]

you told her you were using coke and she just left you? if you were the love of your life like she was for you, she would have talked to you and would have tried to help and understand you, not leave you

[WhiteRyan]

CABS205 I feel for you man, ive experienced it alot. But it involved herb. If she said you guys wont be a couple again and you havent talked in a month or two, then buddy its time to move on. Its hard but you gotta face the facts straight in the face that she see's you as a junkie, and nothing will change it. The way it sounded how she broke up with you she was already looking for a reason to get out of the relationship. Also that she got back with her ex and their doing god knows what. You just gotta say fuck her and move on, cuz thats what she did. Arent you pissed at all that your woman is with her ex. I wouldnt fuck with it anymore, your just gonna keep spirling down or as I call it alcoholism. Then followed up by fucking as many girls as you can. You need to move on, take time, get steady with a new one.


And figure out if shes cool with it. heh personally ive never dated a girl that has done drugs yet ive done drugs since I was a little shit disturber. Life can blow sometimes ya know.


sorry if this post pisses you off at all but I mean it in a good uplifting way.

[OneDiaDem]

If she left, and started seeing someone else right away, the relationship had more problems than you realize. If it was a wakeup call for you, she would not have ran into another mans arms right away, if even at all. The Coke isnt that serious, if she had no clue until you told her. Her actions say to me she was looking for an excuse to get away.

I could be wrong, but I wouldnt count on getting back together.</font>

[CABS205]

Well, you all would have to understand our relationship...Which is fairly complicated. She "told" me up front, "If you cheat on me or do any drugs. It's over." Honestly, I don't remember her telling me about the drug part.


In high school, I was just smoking weed and she was just so upset with it....that I quit for her. Then, weed wasn't cutting it anymore...so coke...then, I told her. She doesn't have the best history with people doing drugs (her family, friends...so I guess, that's where she's coming from). She felt betrayed. I understand that.


She went back to her ex, or is hanging out with him because she knows what's getting to me. I'm pissed off. BUT, I'm learning to be forgiving about it.


Our relationship was actually very good. The only reason, she broke up with me is because of the drugs. She HATES drugs. You don't understand, SHE HATES IT! And I didn't listen. Ugh. I'm stupid.


Well, this time is growing time for me. I'm still young. And no matter what people say,we'll eventually be together.. I know, everyone must be thinking "Get over it." but, you really have to know us, to understand this relationship. IF you really knew what we've been through or how great the relationship was, and you were telling me "It's over." I'd listen, but it's not over.

[manda]

I think you know deep down you know what's going on- and are very scared to lose her.
In the long run, it's gonna be up to her, if she stays with him, or returns to you.
You could have a beautiful flower arrangement sent, and write "Friends?" on the card with a smiley face.. You could get a beautiful ring or diamond earrings for her, gift wrap it at the store and send it to her house. (Note: If in this much trouble, never hand deliver flowers, have them delivered- it shows class.) Pretty jewlery is a great apology gift, again sent or delivered. But don't do this cheaply. I'd say 200.00 minimum on the earrings or ring, or three dozen roses,or both. A gift lets her know that you're sorry.

[OneDiaDem]

Well, good luck to you. I hope it does work out, it seems to be something you care a great deal about, and I wish you all the best. I would save the forgive me presents until she is back at home tho. No sense in throwing away good money after a bad situation. If she was that offended by drugs, with you having knowledge of this, why would you risk losing her to begin with?
I myself would never yeild to another in such a fashion. At least I dont believe I would, and I would never ask anyone else to either. I wont be blackmailed by love. But then again, I have never tried to hide who I am, or what I do. If people cannot accept me for all I am, then who needs it? Life is just too short, and peace rules. When you are true to yourself, you are capable of being true to others........and all that jazz, lol.

Good luck my friend.</font>

[manda]

I was trying to help- if she's done with you, a gift won't help, but if there's still a chance- it might get you in the door. "Oh, how sweet!"
Myself I have never received such an elaborate make-up gift...

[Woodman]

Dia's right.

That girl was apparently looking for an excuse to
trash the relationship.

I strongly urge you to consider the following:

1.) Shitcan the girl. She's probably cheated you and
is exploiting the situation to make it seem like YOU
are the guilty party.
Put this relationship past you.

2.) Don't go back to coke.
If you've been doing good then keep it up, but don't
blow it and risk hurting yourself and pissing away
your money.

3.) Save your money.
The cash you would spend to buy her gifts or
otherwise woo her back could be better spent on
finding yourself a good hooker; a much better bargin
without all the grief.

That's it, in a nutshell.

[P!MPJU!C3]

But how can it be that she hates drugs more than she loves u? Isnt that the base? Isnt that wrong? I know how u feel. U think none know or understand. But in fact everyone goes through the same and doesnt think anyone else understands. All realtionships r complicated, if their not, it cant be serious.
I know this sounds horrible but u really might wanna look out 4 someone else. Their r lots of beautiful girls round.
I know u think none can compare 2 her. Ur wrong. Their is no such thing as the one. Should their be a one she wouldnt brake up with u over a coke problem.

[DTRiPz]

yea man,i have the same thing.My boy was going out with this girl for 3
years and she had a friend,so u know everything was ok,like me and her
were just friends.Then i started to like her and we went out then we
broke up and I started to do drugs again,so she told me : "If you want
me back stop doing drugs".

I love this girl and i dont know what to do,I mean I cant quit. =/

[Maxamillion]

You, DRiPz, might have to make a decision girl or drugs......In that situation I hide drugs for awhile...but eventually she asked "Why are your eyes rolling around in your head"......if it's a hard decision then you might want to find an understanding girl.....but sometimes a straight girl can balance out productivity and drugs....but she will probably blow all the money you save from not doing drugs on pointless shit........Listen to woodman

[OneDiaDem]

What would be the point of going out with her if your still using after she has said, no drugs? All that is going to do is hurt the two in the long run. If you want to do drugs, find someone compatible, who enjoys it as much as you. Dont waste peoples time, or their hearts. This too is another reason drugs have a bad rep.</font>

[CABS205]

Yeah, totally...I know that it's up to her in the long run. Space is actually good for us. And plus I've been clean for a while...Well, on the coke...Even though, I still havelots in my stash...What do I do with it??? I don't want to give it away and I don't want to throw it...


Well, right now we don't talk to each other. Even though she knows I'm taking care of her things right now (long story)....Well, I did buy her this present a while back, I'm thinking about just sending to her for Christmas. BUT, I don't if she'll be pissed off her anything.


Well, I know what I can do...She told me I'm allowed to smoke weed, shrooms, and I can drink....BUT, as long as I keep off the hard shit it will be alright...

[Bored]

I'd tell her to piss off for a while, and that your coke problem is something unrelated to her, you are dealing with it, and for that you should be proud of yourself, to quit for your own good, and not the limitations she's set. I feel like people who haven't been addicted to or even enjoyed coke occasionally, just don't get it, and therefore judge, when they have no idea. I always thought I was the person who could try anything, and never feel the need for it after. I could smoke for 2 weeks and then just stop without it bothering me at all, don't really care to drink, I like a painkiller once in a while but don't feel compelled to use them all the time. Then I naively thought I would react the same way to coke, and I was fiend after my first rail. It consumes me all the time, I think about why I want it so bad, why does it have this crazy grip on me, and so I just stay away from it to avoid being in that personal hell of knowing coke is controlling me. It's hard, and sometimes I just want to give in to it, but I remind myself of the awful guilt and self-loathing feeling that comes with a crash. Keeps me motivated, and then I feel confident and strong a little more all the time. But get off that train for yourself, and not because of someone else's demands on you.

[Woodman]

Originally Posted by CABS205

...Well, I did buy her this present
a while back, I'm thinking about just sending to her
for Christmas.**

I hope you saved the reciept. Maybe you can still get
a refund.

If not, then you're probably better off giving it to
someone else, T'is the season you know.

Originally Posted by CABS205

BUT, I don't if she'll be pissed off
her anything.

Geez!
If she's THAT tempermental why the hell would you
want anything to do with her?

... and did you find yourself a hooker, yet?

[CABS205]

Yeah, I know...It's annoying...The only drug she even tried was weed and she claimed she didn't inhale. LOL! Whatever...She's just judgemental about things that I do....I didn't think coke was a bad thing, until she started lecturing me. Oh, well.


No, I got the present off the net. A while ago! Damnit! Oh, well. I'll save it and wait till we're friends again. If that will ever happen. I'm still pissed off with her!


LOL! Nope, didn't get a hooker yet. I've seen the hookers from where I'm from and ugh...Gross....

[PleasuresGuilt]

hmmm... sry to hear about that man... i knwo how ya feel but i was fortunate enough to get a second chance... maybe if you hold out you will two. but dont wait to long... that aint healthy...

[msumegi]

I think you should try to accept that you two may never be togeather as a couple and move on with your personal life. That way if you don't get togeather then you will have accepted that, but if you do get togeather then it will be a wounderful suprise.