Journal - Help me escape from Heroin addiction

[oggy]

Hello everyone, Swims been taking heroin on and off for the past year and a half but its now an everyday task for swim. He's been shooting it everyday for the past 3 weeks now (used to just smoke it but it was getting expensive). He's on 2 bags a day now and its costing more than swim has to spend. 1 bag here is about 100mg maybe more an 1/8th of a gram. Swim has been fighting with heroin for the last 8 months but his addiction has never been this bad. Swim doesn't even get high anymore, he just uses to stay straight.

Swim really wants to come off this evil drug but every time swim has tried he feels too depressed.

Swim is going to run out on funds again soon so what would be the best thing to do? The hardest part about coming off is the depression, swim just can't handle it.

[stoneinfocus]

Mh, fighting depression.. cocaine, amphetamine, or benzos -all might help a short time, but don´t know if this is less harsh on the budget,. bt a little 0f these might go a long way (a little! not heeps and rocks!)... might give testosterone or methandrostenolone a shot @ 20mg 2x day, which is anti depressive as hell, as I´ve heard some desperate lunatic tell... he said at 50mg/day it´s felt quite rapidly, like in a few days, where as testosterone might take weeks... there are many ways, others with more experience in tale telling might chime in.

Reputation Comments on this post:

Giving advice on how to beat an addiction by getting an addiction to something else

[Orchid_Suspiria]

Well there are those out there who have been through and probably still going through just what swiy is.Swim isn't in a position to give advice,swiy has basically two choices quit or be an addict for life.Swiy could try methadone but in the end thats picking up a meaner and crueler addiction.Perhaps swim could talk to his doctor if he has an understanding and helpful doctor?

[Frivolous248]

Has anyone ever tried using cannabis? That may not help with the withdrawals but swims friend who was going through perc withdrawals said weed helped make him feel a lot better. That could help you with the depression part. Swim is just one of those 'ganja cures all' kind of people though, but it may help you so he thought he'd post it.

[IkBenDeMan]

Originally Posted by Frivolous248

Has anyone ever tried using cannabis? That may not help with the withdrawals but swims friend who was going through perc withdrawals said weed helped make him feel a lot better. That could help you with the depression part. Swim is just one of those 'ganja cures all' kind of people though, but it may help you so he thought he'd post it.

swim cant feel any effects from marijuana durding w/ds, but as soon as he takes a shot of dope hes stoo stoned to stay awake... strange...

[oggy]

Thanks for all your replys guys. Swim can't handle ganga anymore, it makes him more depressed and paranoid. He smoked far too much when he was younger.

Swim got his hands on some valium 25 10mg blues ones, he's had 100mg's so far, its taking the edge off things a bit. Swim is tempted to buy another bag but really doesn't want to. He might be able to get some methadone later or some subs.

co-incidence please tel me more about the testosterone? Is it easy to get you hands on? Is it a steroid?

[Oxycontin]

Originally Posted by HeLpMeEsCaPe

Thanks for all your replys guys. Swim can't handle ganga anymore, it makes him more depressed and paranoid. He smoked far too much when he was younger.

Swim got his hands on some valium 25 10mg blues ones, he's had 100mg's so far, its taking the edge off things a bit. Swim is tempted to buy another bag but really doesn't want to. He might be able to get some methadone later or some subs.

co-incidence please tel me more about the testosterone? Is it easy to get you hands on? Is it a steroid?

Damn man, that sounds a lot like SWIM. Swim was looking for anything to help with the withdrawal. His friend said smoking would help but Swim doesnt like smoking anymore, did way too much of that in high school and stopped getting good highs. Suboxene worked absolutely great. Swim was blowing oxy 80's in one line and restraining himslef from doing more because of monetary issues. Swim went from about 160mg's of OC a day to 4mg's of suboxene. Didnt feel the slightest withdrawal. A week later Swim came off the subs and went into bad withdrawal, but made it through. Now swims works and stuff like that to try to keep his mind off it.



Swim realy wanted to quit just to no longer be physically dependent on it. His plan was to get off them for a few weeks and then go back to doing it occasionally. Everybody says this is a bad idea and you just pick up right were you left off, but everyone is different. Honestly swim wouldn't want to go through the rest of his life never doing this thing that makes him so happy.

Swim prides himself on being strong physically and mentally, and his answer to the problem is this:

"If you spend the rest of your life trying to avoid something, then it still controls you."

Moderation is key. its one thing to quit drinking, smoking, drugs, etc. forever and plan to never touch them again, but learning to do them in moderation is far more difficult but rewarding.

[Orchid_Suspiria]

Swim highly doubts testosterone is some miracle cure for opiate addiction.Does swiy want to risk something and spend money on something that may not even work?The only viable solutions swim knows are poppypod tea and maybe methadone or buprenorphine.

[oggy]

Swim bought another bag of heroin today (half of what he would normaly take) and got 2 pins out it. He also managed to get 180mg of methadone, he's taken 30mg 3 and a half hours ago and another 25mg 15 minutes as he was still feeling shite. Swim knows it takes about 2 hours for the full effects of the methadone to come on but he was starting to feel a bit shit.

Swim has about 125mg of meth left, he will try 25mg tomorrow and see how he feels. He has 12 10mg valium left. Maybe the 25mg of meth plus 1 valium 3 times a day should see him through the day.

Swim has heard it takes methadone 3 days to start working, is this true? Swim is thinking of dropping the meth by 5mg per day. Now if Swims calculations are right, 125mg left 25mg tomorrow, day 2 20mg, day 3 15mg, day 4 10mg, day 5 5mg. That would leave swim with 50mg so he could stay on 5mg per day for 10 days then he's clean

Does anyone think swim could use the methadone in a better way? Is swim dropping the meth too fast?

Maybe 25mg will not be enough tomorrow? He could maybe take 40mg then drop by 5mg per day? Any other idea's?

[cyndi]

Could swiy possibly see a therapist and get on a sub maintenace program or would be willing to go to rehab? Swim is not preaching but doesn't want to see young swiy get that bag.

Darn swim was too late for swiy to see her post as she is kicking a monkey herself but of a different kind. Swim still says please get professional help. Don't try to do this on your own if swiy never went to rehab or any type of therapy for this. There is no shame for getting help if swiy really wants to kick. Otherwise, Swiy will continue buying those bags of death and feeling worse everytime he buys it.

[English_T]

Methadone - it will work and it will takethe edge off of things, you should start feeling the effects of it after 30mins and it will be fully in after an hour. How much you take is dependant on how much gear you use a day. I was a heroin addict for 10+ years and lost absolutely everything because of it and my failure to get things under control - I tried and came off and on again and again. It truly is a bad news drug and is not something to be toyed with. EVERYBODY begins the EXACT same way - a bit on the weekend - maybe a Friday or Saturday night, most throw up and don't really like it to begin with but they try again and can handle it a little better, it is soooo strong to begin with that a very small amount is all one needs.Anyway, just Friday nights becomes a weekend thing and may stay as such for many months, inevitably comes the day when one is feeling a little too shite to go to work on Monday morning so one gets a bag, 'just alittle to make you feel right and then you'll be fine', it may work once or twice, however, usually that Monday bag that lifts the shite Monday feeling leads to a worse feeling on Tuesday but you worry about getting another bag on Tuesday as wel, that is alittole too much....maybe you suffer through it once or twice and start thinking that you should control things a bit but you start looking forwar ALL week to the weekend when you can have a hit and the weekend becomes the highlight of the week,not the going out and seeing friends, the scoring the bag and getting fucked. INevitably that Tuesday bag ends up getting you through Tuesday but leads to a worse Wednesday and so you get a bag on Wednesday and swear you'll only have half, maybe a quarter - you have the 1/4 and it makes you feel alittle better, you convince yourself that a bit more won't harm and before you know it the bag is all gone and you get another bag because you can't face Thursday feeling real shit and you really do promise yourself that you will 'do it properly tomorrow' and so you're addicted and on a daily bag, hell, it's not that bad!!!...as long as you have one bag a day you're A ok and good to go....it leads to more and more and the never ending chasing money to score and going out to score and having a dig becomes a daily schedule that is the do all and end all of your life. Yiu start shooting it up as it's cheaper that way and so saves you some $$$$'s in the beginning.....You're an addict.

It never gives, it always takes, takes, takes. You become a shadow of the person you once were. You lie so as not to 'hurt' those close to you, in the end you're lying to cover the lies you've told - you no longer have contact with your old friends, you have new friends who aren't friends at all just 'people you know', people who in the normal scheme of things you would never have anything to do with, people you cannot honestly trust and who would rip you off in a second, you know them because they can score, they know dealers you don't and so you have regular contact with these 'new guys'...

Anyway, I digress....

Methadone WORKS, end of. It does take a few days to work to its full potential but you will feel it on day one and it will take away withdrawl symptoms. Normally, methadone is in the liquid form of 1mg/1ml. 40 or 50ml is normally a good dose that will take care of most people, however, if you have a real bad habit, it will need to be increased. 50ml is enought to kill a 'normal' person. I am on, presently, 110ml daily. I do not think of gear anymore, it does not bother me at all. Sure, I'm addicted to methadone but this can betaken care of through gradual, controlled reduction ending up with subutex and valium.. I, myself, prefer methadone al the way through and finishing with valium. It takes weeks after your final dose for it to come out of your system.

Apparently, KRATOM is quite successful in treating opiate withdraml and is seriously worth having a look at. If you have got a big habit though, see a doctor as soon as you can (if you seriously want to come off it or even if you want to maintained by methadone that is fine - better taking methadone for free and living a pretty much normal life than leading the life of an everyday junky, believe me). Some Dr's are good, some are shite - get a good one who is understanding of your situation and who is interested, genuinelly, in helping.

GEar will take you nowhere fast, don't let it. I have no veins left at all because of gear and if I want to bang anything up (I used to do crack in the pin with gear but occasionally do just crack now) I have to use my feamoral vein, it is the ONLY one I can get - I used to spend up to 5 hours trying to find a vein DAILY, it was a f'ing nightmare! Get out of it, and stay away from it, it will do you NO favours. WORD.

Reputation Comments on this post:

	...::: informative post!! :::...
	wise words. even though you should say how methadone must be used in the right way

[oggy]

Originally Posted by English_T

It never gives, it always takes, takes, takes. You become a shadow of the person you once were. You lie so as not to 'hurt' those close to you, in the end you're lying to cover the lies you've told - you no longer have contact with your old friends, you have new friends who aren't friends at all just 'people you know', people who in the normal scheme of things you would never have anything to do with, people you cannot honestly trust and who would rip you off in a second, you know them because they can score, they know dealers you don't and so you have regular contact with these 'new guys'...

That was so true man, Swim did lie to himself and others to not hurt them. Good thing is Swim is starting to talk to his old friends now and doesn't even go live or even go near his old but much loved house. He's rented it out now and some other people are living in it and I do hope they enjoy and not destroy my old home. Its a real shame as it is a lovely place to live but he met the wrong people. Swim lives 10 miles out of that wee town and back into Edinburgh and is not living in hell no more as its a lovely place.

Anyway just an update the detox is going well trying the lemonade diet out a full 2 days and bit and going strong. Been completely methadone and benzo free for a full 24 hours and 6 hours 30 minutes.

I think it would be sensible for Swim to count the time off drugs mostly opiates and benzodiazepines. Swim is not feeling too bad.

I think Swim's make it out to be worse than it really is. Swim was on 120mg's even 1 week ago he did drop it some days before and never picked it up. Swim has to be really strong today and not pick it up as they the chemist will write the script off.

I do think that heroin IS harder to come off as it IS stronger and many Swim's are lieing to themselves but Swim wont be a hypocrite because he was lieing all the time back then and needs to face the facts and believe them, then he will have success in his journey in life.

Love and peace as my Mum always says.


Quote:
"Swims make it out to be harder than it is" Notice the dates from this post to my next 30-04-2008, 21:39. Well Swim was in for a shock! Swim couldn't do anything apart from panic attacks, paranoia, no sleep for 5 days, muscle spasms plus zoned out mental trips.

[oggy]

Thanks cyndi. Swim is from the UK in Scotland and he's been on the waiting list to go on a maintenance program for about a year now so swim needs to sort this out but swim just can't wait any longer, he wants off this evil drug now!.

Rehab costs about 10 to 30 grand and swim doesn't have that kind of money.

Swim has been trying to get professional help for a year and a bit.

Unless you've got the money its a long waiting game.

I like to say thanks to everyone that has replyed

[English_T]

Are you saying you have been waiting for a year to get on a methadone maintenance program?
If you have, then your council (it is an area thing) is shite, seriously, call one of the many Helpline numbers they will help you.
One council area (I was on the border between two councils) next to me had a 6 month waiting list and then they would put you on 35ml of meth a day and would urine test you weekly, 3 positive urine tests and they would kick you off. They had a 95% failure rate. They were absolute idiots.

However, the Oxfordshire council, were totally different - I got put on a script within 30 minutes! and that was after walking into a drop in clinic! I had no urine tests unless I wanted them. I continued to use and they knew I continued to do so but were happy to support me and this enabled me to reduce it at my own level - they were and are, amazing. I still see the same councellor today , once amonth and recently stopped takinggear altogether after 2 years on just using at weekends. I haven't touched anything for 2 months, opiate wise, and do not miss it at all. However, I do not stress myself out by saying 'never' because I know how easy it can all begin again. I don't use today and I'll take tomorrow as it comes.

[CHEMDUDE]

Originally Posted by English_T

Are you saying you have been waiting for a year to get on a methadone maintenance program?
If you have, then your council (it is an area thing) is shite, seriously, call one of the many Helpline numbers they will help you.
One council area (I was on the border between two councils) next to me had a 6 month waiting list and then they would put you on 35ml of meth a day and would urine test you weekly, 3 positive urine tests and they would kick you off. They had a 95% failure rate. They were absolute idiots.

However, the Oxfordshire council, were totally different - I got put on a script within 30 minutes! and that was after walking into a drop in clinic! I had no urine tests unless I wanted them. I continued to use and they knew I continued to do so but were happy to support me and this enabled me to reduce it at my own level - they were and are, amazing. I still see the same councellor today , once amonth and recently stopped takinggear altogether after 2 years on just using at weekends. I haven't touched anything for 2 months, opiate wise, and do not miss it at all. However, I do not stress myself out by saying 'never' because I know how easy it can all begin again. I don't use today and I'll take tomorrow as it comes.

2yrs is disgusting..
ps.english t,please readyour pm's.swim is running out of space..peace c_d

[oggy]

Yes its crazy here, swim is very pissed off. Swim has been waiting far too long and he did get an appointment with them but the woman said he wasn't using enough at the time so she stopped seeing me, crazy bitch. My doctor said any amount is a problem and should be treated seriously.

Swim will have a phone around and she what help he can get.

Thanks for your kind replyes

[oggy]

Does anyone have any of the helpline numbers swim can call?

[oggy]

Swim can get his hands on some more methadone, hopefully. Swim got 20 x 20mg temazepam tabs but will keep these for when he's low on meth so he can get to sleep. He should be getting more Valium very soon.

Swim doesn't want to take enymore heroin ever again.

Today swim has had 30mg of meth, 120mg valium and 140mg of temazepam and he feels ok.

[cyndi]

Oh that is so messed up. Swim forgot there are people that are not from the states here. You are willing to get help and your government puts you on a list? That is messed up and makes swim mad. OH Man I wish I knew what swim could do for you. I don't know about methadone except it can be abused too so be careful. Hopefully someone that has some h clean time can enlighten swiy on what to do. Swim can't take opiates, thank God, so she doesn't know how to advise. Swim really gets the money issue,she thought your government had free medical help or is swim misinformed? Well hmmm swim will think and advise. Please don't buy that bag if swiy can help it.

[oggy]

Swim bought that other bag The guy that sorted swim out with the methadone asked swin if he could score him a bag so swim couldn't resist and bought a bag for himself. The guy is an older chap and he doesn't have a vain left to shoot so he smoked his bag. Swim was on 50mg of methadone 120mg valium and 210mg of temazepam. He got his bag and cooked it all up, he wasn't even rattling he was doing it for the high.

Swim shoot it all in one go and the guy he was with said swim just collapsed at the table, he said swim's face went blue. The older guy thought swim was dead but he shot back up and was falling about for about a good 5 minutes. Then swim got his head together enough to realise that his flatmate just walked in but all the tin foil and used needle stuff was still all over the table, they just cleand the mess up in time.

Swim never new what day it was, he had plumbers coming round to do work on his house, they knocked on the door and swim was all confused to why they were here so early in the morning when it was still night time, doh must have looked a right tit.

Now swim bumped into an old school mate who is now a smack head, swim got talking to him and he said he could get swim a half teenth (about 0.9 of a gram) for a price he just couldn't say no to.

So swim is back on the heroin.

Swim really wants to go to a mthadone clinic asap before his habit gets worse, cause the more swim has the more he'll use.

Swim has a lot to lose, he's got a mortgage and lots of good friends that don't know about this side of swim and most of all his mother!

[Rio Fantastic]

Oh boy, your guys are really not nice people. Offering you a bag of heroin when you were trying to quit...that's really bad. Perhaps you should just go cold turkey and forget using opiates, and just stick with the benzos to get you off. Good luck.

[cyndi]

Sweetie I agree with Rio, swiy needs to move away, disassociate from fiends not friends, they don't sound like real friends. Real friends support and help not enable. It will be as uncomfortable as hell but kick it cold turkey if swiy can't do rehab. Swiy will feel really really bad for about a couple of weeks, but can be done if swiy is serious. Methadone here blah, government in swims neck of the woods gives that crap out and the junkies never stop using the methadone. Thus never really clean. Also the more swiy uses and the longer swiy uses, the worse it will be. Heroine is not good, swim does not care to listen to garbage about the therapudic benefits of that crap not from swiy, others giving bad advice. One gets smack, shoots up, and is in lala land, hmmm therapudic benefit, no way in hell. It is dope just as bad as meth or coke. Swim is just giving a reality check and is sad swiy got that bag when swim thinks swiy is savable.

Also get some benzos if kicking ct, they will help. The stomach stuff, get oh something over the counter like I can't spell it forgive me, keyopectate? Swim is sounding it out. LOL

[oggy]

Thanks for your reply cyndi. Swim is going to try to get into the links project whick is a 6 weeks rehab detox. Only problem is there's only 12 beds in edinburgh swim's sure he read. But the waiting list isn't as long to get in.

http://www.turningpointscotland.com/...isuse_services


Swim will try not to get that other bag, he has enough methadone to do him for a while and he has valium to take the edge of things.

Thanks for your support

[Danzig47]

go forit cold turkey likei am right now i have a few 10 vlaiums codine that i have been extracting from otc meds works quite well been an heroin addict for 10years iam only 27 so here iam dying reading all these posts anyway good luck

[Danzig47]

sorry ment to say 10mg valiums ,and the codine that i have been extracting from the cold water method is easy when u had a habbit like mine u dont expect not special but even shoot a bit stopped legs nd arms aching at lest and not gonna ne s hard as commin of a 1g a day