Why does life without coke seem so miserable.

[stoneinfocus]

.. why is it, that just when you´re about to think it´s better without, you find that this was just an illusion ?

You were thinking you were stressed because of coke, but it was the situation throughout and without coke you do just miserable.

[cyndi]

Because my friend addiction is a nasty little beastie that makes little or old swimmers think they just can't be happy without their drug of choice. It is an illusion or a trick that makes swimmers want to continue dancing with the devil.

Hmmmm making swim think with 1/2 a brain on the second point as swim is kicking those lovely amphetimines that young swiy who posted above loves so much. Swim is lucky to at least have 1/2 a brain and not going yayayaya in a nursing home at least. OK back to pondering something profound, no the situation will be there with or without the coke, it is how swiy handles the situation that makes it bad or worse. The coke may make one feel on top of the world when indeed his reality is messed up. Stress is another thing that makes addiction rear it's ugly head. One will feel stress as addiction or kicking is unpleasant as hell, swim is going through this now so knows this. What swim sees are excuses to use. Yeah so could swim if she wants to die. She has no choice but to kick. Peace!

[nleksan]

SWIM was put on Zoloft while trying to come down off a cocaine addiction (to battle depression and severe panic attacks, not the addiction itself; bupropion would be more effective at that) and noticed that while his depression subsided, the panic attacks did not. He eventually quit taking the Zoloft after about three months on it, still intermittently using cocaine, but noticed that after stopping the antidepressant he no longer had urges to use the drug.

SWIM has experienced many drugs, from the mild (marijuana) to the incredibly powerful and reality-shattering (LSD, DMT, 2C-E, etc) and has found that addiction is a mind game. If SWIY wants to quit cocaine, SWIY will. It is the first step that is the hardest. The first couple days are going to SUCK, but after that SWIY will start to appreciate the sober life for what it is. Everything will get its color back, and SWIY's addiction will be a thing of the past. Beware of relapses, though, as they can and do happen. Just realize that it is a part of the process; the occasional line or bump isn't going to throw SWIY down the addiction spiral once again, but it is a slippery slope.

SWIM and the rest of the community wishes you the best of luck!!!

[cyndi]

Yes while swim was detoxing, she was also put on zoloft. It didn't help swim and she felt her artistic ability was detered which is was really. Swim agrees with swiy 100%, if you want to kick you can. Swim is in her right mind today as it has been several days since her last meth binge. She feels much better as she is a part of life not in a little room hitting on a pipe and torch all day. Yes also good advice, don't let relapses make you say f it, they are more than likely going to happen. You learn from them and move on. Don't allow them to give you an excuse to use.

[marysofthesea]

co-incidence- I was having some very similar thoughts tonight, and I'm sure you know very well all that I'm about to write, but bear with me, because I'm telling myself this, too.

It's because c. is as deceptive as it is rewarding. The truth is it DOES make things more bearable, because it's instant confidence, an instant burst of strength. But fast forward to the crash and you know it's false strength, that leaves you so much weaker and worse off than before.
At least that's my experience. You have to come down sometime, and the come down is a price i don't want to pay. Because all the things that were hurting/stressing you are still there, and now you're crashing on top of it all.
So is it really worth it?

[cyndi]

Today is another day. Swim isn't doing good. Clean but feeling the insanity. But does agree that coke/meth is not good for swim anyway. No matter how much you get, you must always crash and fiend. It is a vicious cycle that keeps addicts using or wanted it. At first some say yeah it is good, swiy can handle it. Swiy usually is kidding himself as the stuff will get him in the end. Swiys that can't live without, hmmmm, well that is their personal opinion. Swim at this moment has the same feeling and is going nuts but could lose job, kids, and home in the end. Knows many swimmers that have and still can't stop. Vicious cycle, vicious dope.