Bad trips and the stories you know.

[asplinteredfawn]

I’m working on a short story called the tryptamine kid. I need some help making the story make sense. I've searched over many trip reports and have found very few that describe what I want the character to have experienced. Now I'm not trying to make this character be a reckless drug abuser, He is far from that. He treats psychedelics w/ much respect and he trips quite often; not for idiotic kicks. The character feels at home when he has consumed hallucinogens and they help him to come to terms w/ many underlying themes of the novel such as death and the obvious poisonous insanity that our species has brought upon this world and its creatures. The ideas of possession take and conquer. Build, form, and expand your ideas and your ideas only. Hallucinogens let him understand these ideas and see the points of views of others w/ out me becoming hopeless and lost in depression. Anyways, enough about the character development and his philosophies.



I mention in the book that he has taken many different hallucinogens; Synthetic and non. But his favorites happen to be DMT and Psilocybe Mushrooms. I never describe him have had a “bad trip ". The only trips or “bad trips” I describe in the chapters entail him having extremely unpleasant ideas, feelings or the thought that he can’t handle what is being show to him by the psychedelic entities and his own demented subconscious. Usually in the end of the experience he is still glad and pleased by what was shown to him and none of the other characters that are w/ him during these sessions even knew that he was uncomfortable or on the verge of deep emotional distress. Except perhaps the occasional dark odd ball thought or theme to the conversation. But in the later chapters that I’m working on he has an experience w/ some liquid LSD that he believes may have been some sort of DOX substance. He knows deep down that he took a large dose and probably should have been wiser on planning the situation. But he planned on going back to his girlfriend’s house for the rest of the night and just taking it all in.



Another friend of his took 1 hit and he came to protagonists’ girlfriend’s apartment. We all arrived home and he was sitting in bed in the dark just relaxing when he started coming up. His friend said that he was tripping really hard and very nervous. The main character was tripping very hard, to the point I describe that he was seeing black static and huge waves of highly saturated colours among other very complex form constant fractals. Then w/ out knowing his body became ridged and he sort of popped up and smacked into the wall he was leaning on. This was very scary for the other people in the room and they told him it looked like he was becoming possessed; But he didn’t remember this at all. He begged them not to worry . Then both of them and the room disappeared and he was laying there in a dark abyss. Looking at himself from a third person perspective. These distorted patterned faces hovered around him and they kept mocking and laughing saying all of these pop culture terms and mentioning all of the things most people on earth take as regular life. But he now saw them in a whole new light. Thinking about earth seemed like the most foreign thing ever. It would be like: if a child could see everything on earth the minute he was born. Yet knew all about every detail of it in that instant. But what he knew before this enlightenment was nothing like earth it was part of a completely different existence down to the idea of gravity and mass; these were now odd concepts to him. They tell him that this existence was a joke and that it was time for him to come back home to where he really existed and that the joke was over basically.



His friends later tell him that ended up running around saying the six same words and lots of other gibberish words. He also keeps asking for a drink of water but never ends up even drinking the man glasses they pour him. Mostly because he is running around or flopping on the ground making geometric hand gestures and circles in the air. They told him that his eyes were crossed and he looked crazed. He ended up running outside and kneeling in the snow and heard many voices and conversations of people who weren't there. As this happened he could see behind of the snow that was falling the sides top front and bottom. He feebly tries to explain this “4d” vision in the book. This is all the character remembers and it was very distorted and blended into the psychedelic dream he was having while he was blacked out or whatever state he was in. Then he woke up in the hospital.



When he was in the hospital he was completely out of his mind. He believed that his future life ( like a past life ) time traveled back in time to come visit him in the hospital and he told him all this stuff that he discloses in the book but won’t go into because you'll just think he is crazier than he already sound. But after this experience he wonders and searches for an answer or for someone w/ a similar experience and cannot find one. He wonders quite often if anyone has had one of these black out sort of bad trips. It was similar to his subconscious took himself completely over. He had no control or recognition of what he was doing. He was stuck in this dream state the entire time except for small fragments of lucidity but he would then relapse back into insanity.



He takes more hallucinogens in the later chapters. But he started at very small dose and built up to the same sort of doses he was taking before this happened. But he usually sticks to no more than a 1/4 of Cubensis or 2 to 3 hit's of LSD. He’s been fine since then except that he describes little flashbacks of the things he saw while he was trapped inside his mind. Do any of you know any other characters in any other books who have had any experiences like that? Or have you yourself wrote any stories where the character in it has had a similar experience?



Thank you,
Matthew

Ps. Sorry for before my apologies.

[asplinteredfawn]

No one has written anything similar to this character? he must be out of his mind?

[asplinteredfawn]

he wishes someone could comment / help him...

[grandbaby]

Your character is most certainly not out of his mind. What he experienced in this chapter sounds similar to a number of trip reports I've read (particularly of higher-dose DO* trips).

I'm not sure what you're looking for, here. Because everyone's +4 experiences are different in some way (due to psychology, substance, set, setting, and myriad other factors), you won't find an account that's exactly the same as your character's. Particularly because it seems to have affected him quite strongly. Until he integrates the experience fully, he will likely have little "flashbacks," as you call them, when he takes other psychedelics.

Without knowing more about him, I can't really give much advice, but intuitively I'd say that if you want him to develop optimally, he should take up meditation, cut down his psychedelic usage, and maybe get out of the city for a weekend (without psychs) for a one-on-one cool-down man-with-nature getaway. But that's much less dramatic than having him spiral further into the depths of his own private hell — makes for dull reading!