Hey everybody, Jerry Falwell is DEAD!

[augentier]

And he probably flew into the cosmos and met God, who happens to be a black lesbian pagan riding a motorcycle.

[Sitbcknchill]

I can just see Larry Flynt's grin from ear to ear.

[lulz]

Originally Posted by Sitbcknchill

I can just see Larry Flynt's grin from ear to ear.

I would have thought the same thing. So my jaw hit the floor when I read this op-ed in the LA Times.

Larry Flynt: My friend, Jerry Falwell

How the pornographer found himself in the embrace of the reverend who sued him.
By Larry Flynt, LARRY FLYNT is the publisher of Hustler magazine and the author of "Sex, Lies and Politics."
May 20, 2007



THE FIRST TIME the Rev. Jerry Falwell put his hands on me, I was stunned. Not only had we been archenemies for 15 years, his beliefs and mine traveling in different solar systems, and not only had he sued me for $50 million (a case I lost repeatedly yet eventually won in the Supreme Court), but now he was hugging me in front of millions on the Larry King show.

It was 1997. My autobiography, "An Unseemly Man," had just been published, describing my life as a publisher of pornography. The film "The People vs. Larry Flynt" had recently come out, and the country was well aware of the battle that Falwell and I had fought: a battle that had changed the laws governing what the American public can see and hear in the media and that had dramatically strengthened our right to free speech.

King was conducting the interview. It was the first time since the infamous 1988 trial that the reverend and I had been in the same room together, and the thought of even breathing the same air with him made me sick. I disagreed with Falwell (who died last week) on absolutely everything he preached, and he looked at me as symbolic of all the social ills that a society can possibly have. But I'd do anything to sell the book and the film, and Falwell would do anything to preach, so King's audience of 8 million viewers was all the incentive either of us needed to bring us together.

But let's start at the beginning and flash back to the late 1970s, when the battle between Falwell, the leader of the Moral Majority, and I first began. I was publishing Hustler magazine, which most people know has been pushing the envelope of taste from the very beginning, and Falwell was blasting me every chance he had. He would talk about how I was a slime dealer responsible for the decay of all morals. He called me every terrible name he could think of — names as bad, in my opinion, as any language used in my magazine.

After several years of listening to him bash me and reading his insults, I decided it was time to start poking some fun at him. So we ran a parody ad in Hustler — a takeoff on the then-current Campari ads in which people were interviewed describing "their first time." In the ads, it ultimately became clear that the interviewees were describing their first time sipping Campari. But not in our parody. We had Falwell describing his "first time" as having been with his mother, "drunk off our God-fearing asses," in an outhouse.

Apparently, the reverend didn't find the joke funny. He sued us for libel in federal court in Virginia, claiming that the magazine had inflicted emotional stress on him. It was a long and tedious fight, beginning in 1983 and ending in 1988, but Hustler Magazine Inc. vs. Jerry Falwell was without question my most important battle.

We lost in our initial jury trial, and we lost again in federal appeals court. After spending a fortune, everyone's advice to me was to just settle the case and be done, but I wasn't listening; I wasn't about to pay Falwell $200,000 for hurting his feelings or, as his lawyers called it, "intentional infliction of emotional distress." We appealed to the U.S. 4th Circuit Court of Appeals, and I lost for a third time.

Everyone was certain this was the end. We never thought the U.S. Supreme Court would agree to hear the case. But it did, and though I felt doomed throughout the trial and was convinced that I was going to lose, we never gave up. As we had moved up the judicial ladder, this case had become much more than just a personal battle between a pornographer and a preacher, because the 1st Amendment was so much at the heart of the case.

To my amazement, we won. It wasn't until after I won the case and read the justices' unanimous decision in my favor that I realized fully the significance of what had happened. The justices held that a parody of a public figure was protected under the 1st Amendment even if it was outrageous, even if it was "doubtless gross and repugnant," as they put it, and even if it was designed to inflict emotional distress. In a unanimous decision — written by, of all people, Chief Justice William H. Rehnquist — the court reasoned that if it supported Falwell's lower-court victory, no one would ever have to prove something was false and libelous to win a judgment. All anyone would have to prove is that "he upset me" or "she made me feel bad." The lawsuits would be endless, and that would be the end of free speech.

Everyone was shocked at our victory — and no one more so than Falwell, who on the day of the decision called me a "sleaze merchant" hiding behind the 1st Amendment. Still, over time, Falwell was forced to publicly come to grips with the reality that this is America, where you can make fun of anyone you want. That hadn't been absolutely clear before our case, but now it's being taught in law schools all over the country, and our case is being hailed as one of the most important free-speech cases of the 20th century.

No wonder that when he started hugging me and smooching me on television 10 years later, I was a bit confused. I hadn't seen him since we'd been in court together, and that night I didn't see him until I came out on the stage. I was expecting (and looking for) a fight, but instead he was putting his hands all over me. I remember thinking, "I spent $3 million taking that case to the Supreme Court, and now this guy wants to put his hand on my leg?"

Soon after that episode, I was in my office in Beverly Hills, and out of nowhere my secretary buzzes me, saying, "Jerry Falwell is here to see you." I was shocked, but I said, "Send him in." We talked for two hours, with the latest issues of Hustler neatly stacked on my desk in front of him. He suggested that we go around the country debating, and I agreed. We went to colleges, debating moral issues and 1st Amendment issues — what's "proper," what's not and why.

In the years that followed and up until his death, he'd come to see me every time he was in California. We'd have interesting philosophical conversations. We'd exchange personal Christmas cards. He'd show me pictures of his grandchildren. I was with him in Florida once when he complained about his health and his weight, so I suggested that he go on a diet that had worked for me. I faxed a copy to his wife when I got back home.

The truth is, the reverend and I had a lot in common. He was from Virginia, and I was from Kentucky. His father had been a bootlegger, and I had been one too in my 20s before I went into the Navy. We steered our conversations away from politics, but religion was within bounds. He wanted to save me and was determined to get me out of "the business."

My mother always told me that no matter how repugnant you find a person, when you meet them face to face you will always find something about them to like. The more I got to know Falwell, the more I began to see that his public portrayals were caricatures of himself. There was a dichotomy between the real Falwell and the one he showed the public.

He was definitely selling brimstone religion and would do anything to add another member to his mailing list. But in the end, I knew what he was selling, and he knew what I was selling, and we found a way to communicate.

I always kicked his ass about his crazy ideas and the things he said. Every time I'd call him, I'd get put right through, and he'd let me berate him about his views. When he was getting blasted for his ridiculous homophobic comments after he wrote his "Tinky Winky" article cautioning parents that the purple Teletubby character was in fact gay, I called him in Florida and yelled at him to "leave the Tinky Winkies alone."

When he referred to Ellen Degeneres in print as Ellen "Degenerate," I called him and said, "What are you doing? You don't need to poison the whole lake with your venom." I could hear him mumbling out of the side of his mouth, "These lesbians just drive me crazy." I'm sure I never changed his mind about anything, just as he never changed mine.

I'll never admire him for his views or his opinions. To this day, I'm not sure if his television embrace was meant to mend fences, to show himself to the public as a generous and forgiving preacher or merely to make me uneasy, but the ultimate result was one I never expected and was just as shocking a turn to me as was winning that famous Supreme Court case: We became friends.

http://www.latimes.com/news/opinion/...opinion-center

Reputation Comments on this post:

	Nice find!
	Interesting article, thanks.
	Thanks for the article

[Nagognog2]

Ding-Dong! The Witch is Dead! Which old Witch? The WICKED WITCH! Ding-Dong! The Wicked Witch is DEAD!

He's Gone Down Below! BELOW! Where all the Goblins Go!...

Made my day!

[fnord]

hopefully noone takes this serius and give me more bad rep...

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia.
jerry Fartwell (born: Breadline Era) is a famous mongoloid who reinstituted the hangman's noose in Lynchburg, Virginia (1956) and gained national prominence through CB radio on the Old Time Moonshine Get Your Freak On Super Special Hour. Since 1984, he has been Grand Wizard of the National Association of Independent Baptist Covens and a rectum--er, rector--of the University of the South.
[edit] Birth and Childhood

Jerry Fartwell was born in Granny Poon, a tiny town tucked back in the coal mines of West Virginia. His mother was his father's elder sister but it's widely believed that she actually bore the child of their mutual grandfather, whom she granted a 'mercy fuck' as he was dying of syphilis.

Growing up in Granny Poon young Jerry spent many carefree hours crucifying frogs, burning mice and small birds at the stake, and pulling the legs off smaller children. His family was poor white trash, but Jerry aspired to much more.

He wanted to be God's Son.

But instead, he became so evil that, upon dying and entering Hell, he will actually overtake Satan as the Dark Prince.
[edit] First Ministry

Having a reputation for Godly behavior, it was no surprise to the community when at the age of 12 Jerry was discovered "baptizing" half a dozen prepubescent girls in the Rust Fork of the Rabbit River. "Thet ole acid rain must have et their clothes off," Jerry claimed.
[edit] Jerry Fartwell: The Man, The Mongrel Baptist, The Embarrassment

A major advocate of gay rights, Fartwell has been known to attend Gay Pride parades, handing out chocolate-flavored condoms to on-looking children, putting the condoms on the kids, and demonstrating how they work.

In 1969, he made his first real public statement calling Tip O'Neill a fag for his criticism of the Civil War. He has yet to retract that statement.

In the late 1970s he became active in genetic mutations, founding and leading the Moronic Majority, a lobbying group made up of conservative half-humans. Falwell is also the founder of Lobotomy University (originally Hangman's Happy House) and heads a variety of educational organizations that include a genuine baboon on staff.

Outspoken and charismatic, his mostly gargantuan bone-headed opinions make national headlines when Martha Stewart isn't doing anything. In 2001 he was vilified in the press for an appearance on Pat Robertson's That 700 Club, during which he blamed terrorist attacks in the United States on abortionists, feminists, the American Civil Liberties Union, bloggers, Riverdancers, longhairs, Republicans, people named Fred, Teletubbies, Oscar Wilde, the asparagus character on Veggie Tales, pog-swappers, Richard Simmons, and that guy who totaly shot him down at the bar last night, saying "I point the finger in their face and say 'you helped this happen.'"

He later amended his statements, saying that Teletubbies were "kinda cool, pretty colours, sweet baby sunshine magic," before bashing his head into the wall, letting go a rebel yell, stripping to his boxers and proceeding to do unspeakable things in the Larry Flynt Room.

Falwell has also cited predictions that the Apocalypse will be happening "Any day now" while rocking on his front porch and drinking moonshine laced with meth. He has even gone to state that he knows what the Anti-Christ will be "A man of wealth and taste, who's been around for a long, long year....and is most definitely a Jew". The last part however may be related to his severe phobia of Jews. It being reported that with even the mention of the word Jew causes Falwell to go very quiet, start wobbling, his nose to swell up, his teeth to move about, to go very violent, claw up the furniture and claim that he'd laid Mel Gibson.

In 2004, after a violent breakup with long time partner Pat Robertson, Falwell married George W. Bush at a private ceremony in Saudi Arabia.

In 2005, Falwell announced to the world that he accepted Mohammed as his personal lord and savior. He vowed to cleanse the world of "the Infidel". Then, on July 21, 2005 Falwell (renamed "Jameelah Mohammed") took his own life in the failed suicide bombing of London's Stockwell Underground Station. US President George W. Bush commemorated Falwell (Jameelah Mohammed)'s death by replacing Abraham Lincoln's portrait on the $5 with Falwell. http://uncyclopedia.org/wiki/Jerry_Falwell

Reputation Comments on this post:

that was fucking funny

[snapper]

SWIM shed a small tear upon seeing that angelic face clutching the word of our lord on CNN today. SWIM can see those pudgy little cheeks with cherub's wings, a small harp and silk diapers .... and satan from southpark bending Faldwell's fat ass over to deliver God's retribution for eternity (the cherub oufit turns out to be a fetish..).
Too bad there are a million more like him out there ready to take his place.

[enquirewithin]

May he rot in the hell he belives in!

[Voices]

Originally Posted by enquirewithin

May he rot in the hell he belives in!

If anything be right in the universe, one can hope this be the case.

[El Calico Loco]

Voltaire knows what God thinks better than Falwell:

http://youtube.com/watch?v=il0YD4CSGoQ


ECL

[Bio-Cellular Enigma]

In SWIM's opinion, he never behaved like he believed there was a hell. If anything, quite the contrary.

[fnord]

“If you're not a born-again Christian, you're a failure as a human being.” -- Rev. Jerry Falwell

from his best butt buddy:"The feminist agenda is not about equal rights for women. It is about a socialist, anti-family political movement that encourages women to leave their husbands, kill their children, practice witchcraft, destroy capitalism, and become lesbians." -- Pat Robertson

“God hates homosexuality.” -- Rev. Jerry Falwell

AIDS is not just God's punishment for homosexuals; it is God's punishment for the society that tolerates homosexuals.” --Rev. Jerry Falwell


“I do not believe the homosexual community deserves minority status. One’s misbehavior does not qualify him or her for minority status. Blacks, Hispanics, women, etc., are God-ordained minorities who indeed deserve minority status.” – Rev. Jerry Falwell

“Someone must not be afraid to say, ‘moral perversion is wrong.’ If we do not act now, homosexuals will ‘own’ America! …If you and I do not speak up now, this homosexual steamroller will literally crush all decent men, women, and children who get in its way…and our nation will pay a terrible price!” – Rev. Jerry Falwell

“The ACLU is to Christians what the American Nazi party is to Jews.” – Rev. Jerry Falwell

“AIDS is the wrath of a just God against homosexuals. To oppose it would be like an Israelite jumping in the Red Sea to save one of Pharaoh’s charioteers.” – Rev. Jerry Falwell

"Most of these feminists are radical, frustrated lesbians, many of them, and man-haters, and failures in their relationships with men, and who have declared war on the male gender. The Biblical condemnation of feminism has to do with its radical philosophy and goals. That's the bottom line." – Rev. Jerry Falwell

“Grown men should not be having sex with prostitutes unless they are married to them.” –Rev. Jerry Falwell

“It appears that America's anti-Biblical feminist movement is at last dying, thank God, and is possibly being replaced by a Christ-centered men's movement which may become the foundation for a desperately needed national spiritual awakening.” – Rev. Jerry Falwell

“And, I know that I'll hear from them for this. But, throwing God out successfully with the help of the federal court system, throwing God out of the public square, out of the schools. The abortionists have got to bear some burden for this because God will not be mocked. And when we destroy 40 million little innocent babies, we make God mad. I really believe that the pagans, and the abortionists, and the feminists, and the gays and the lesbians who are actively trying to make that an alternative lifestyle, the ACLU, People for the American Way -- all of them who have tried to secularize America -- I point the finger in their face and say, You helped this happen.” -- Rev. Jerry Falwell, blaming civil libertarians, feminists, homosexuals, and abortion rights supporters for the terrorist attacks of Tuesday, September 11, 2001

found this one too its offtopic but i had to add it.

“Gay marriage should be between a man and a woman.” --California Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger

[Bio-Cellular Enigma]

Originally Posted by fnord

“Grown men should not be having sex with prostitutes unless they are married to them.” –Rev. Jerry Falwell

Laughing out loud...

[snapper]

That reads like a George W. Bush quote...

[acolon_5]

May he rot in his own hell for all of eternity. One of the most outspoken racist, hatefilled, bags of puss I have ever heard. IMHO of course.

[allyourbase]

robertson, falwell, bush, buchanan....these men are no type of christian. these are the sort I rant and rave about...those who put the conceptualized divinity of christ ahead of his moral precedent.

Reputation Comments on this post:

well spoken

[Potter]

Anyone notice that IrRev. Phelps will be protesting his funeral? Go check out Godhatesfags.com Apparently Phelps didn't hate enough people to be considered a true christian.

Love.
Potter.

[fnord]

how could he die? i always thouhgt that jerry fallwell was a souless robot.

[Sitbcknchill]

Damn, I stand corrected. Who would have ever thought...lol

Thanks for the article!