i have to quit cocaine

[ihateme]

i am new here, but i have been lurking for a while... i have a little left of my last 8 ball and when it is done i am not buying anymore and i am not going anywhere where i can get it.. i have just a hard time giving this shit up, when i stop for a few days i can do nothing but sleep and i feel like hell and really depressed.. i have no choice i hate that this has control of me like this and i have to quit for my own good.. thanks for letting me vent, i feel better just letting someone know that i do have good intentions... and no matter how hard i am giving this up for awhile, if i have to lock my self in the house..


ok, so how hard is it to really quit? like i said i tired to for 2 days and i felt like death.. how long does it last and is there anything to help ease the cravings and the extreme sleepiness?


thanks everyone

[HardCash21]

Good luck. Jusr remember everyone will slip along the way but that doesn't matter if you keep making progress (even if it is slow progress)

Peace

[BA]

Keep trying, it's hard but just keep trying

best of luck

BA

[lindapwallace]

good luck and remember although its feels like it will never end believe me it will....think about your future and how good you will feel...
i wish you all the best

[lost]

I wish you the best of luck. It takes extreme willpower but you can do it. Hopefully when you start getting through this you will change your screen name to iloveme!

[ihateme]

Thanks for all the positive replys... today is the first day that i havent been on anything, my head seems clearer. hopefully i really am over it, and i can get past this. i told my "friend" not to call me and ask if i wanted some more, or not to offer it to me at all, and that i am staying away from places that i know i can get it.. so today is the first day for the new me.. thanks again, but damn i miss the taste, the numbness and the feeling.. i hear that it is only bad for like 3 days.. 3 days of hell for a better me should be worth it..

[Micklemouse]

Keep at it. Coke addiction seems to be purely psychological, with fewer of the physical symptoms you'd get coming off, say, smack. Stay focussed, sleep if you need to sleep, eat well, and get some high dose vitamins and minerals - esp magnesium and calcium(to help with any cravings), vits B complex strong, C & E(to help with low mood and general recovery stuff), Iron (to help absorb vit C), and if you can find it, Griffonia extract to restore a bit of serotonin to yer brain( a decent independent health food store should be able to sort you out - sometimes called Serotone, L-Tryptophan, or 5ht).

Stray strong, and maybe think about a more positive name - you're leaving the old 'Me' behind, and getting your Self back!

Good luck and blessed be!

[lost]

one of the best things you can do is to avoid triggers and "people, places, and things" that remind you of drugs. You sound like you are off to a good start. Good luck and keep us posted.

[lindapwallace]

just think the first day is the first day of your new life...as a mother of an addict, i found this board a great help and there are all fantastic people on it that will support you all the way.....
as Lost says, avoid all triggers and unfortunatly even if it means cutting your friends out of your life if they do any form of drugs that can take you back to your old ways.....
as i said before, you might feel rough, depressed ect but just think, your future is worth it and you will get there...
take care
linda

[Zach Swan]

Keep at it and keep yourself busy - boredom brings on blow binges. Soon you'll be astonished at the change in energy, and how good you feel.

Please beware of the following though: after you've been clean for a month or so, the day will come when you're feeling wonderful, and almost 'out of the blue' you'll get it into your head that "since you're feeling better now" it won't be a big deal to pick up one 8-ball. You'll think you've got it under control, you'll party, and then continue on with your newly acquired drug-free lifestyle. Don't give in because it WILL be a big deal and you risk ending up back where you are right now. This is just one of the ways She tricks us into remaining with her.

[ihateme]

Thanks again, i havent done anything since mon, i feel alot better today, it was one of the first days in a long while that i got up and did the things i needed to do.. tonight i am taking the kids and spending the night with my mom, just so i wont be at home bored and be tempted to go to a bar, i think i need to stay out of the bar scene for awhile..


i still think about it, the other night my ex and i got in a fight, and more than anything did i want to call my "friend" and get something but i didnt (i did find some old baggies and rub them on my gums though lol). i am trying to keep everything peaceful so i dont turn to that to numb my pain and depression, i also have a drs apt on mon to get on antidepressants, i am hoping that all this works out and i get back to my normal self.. i am also very disapointed in myself for letting something get control of me like this, anyone who knows me wouldnt have thought in a million years that i would have turned to coke, ya know.. well thanks again

[Zach Swan]

more than anything did i want to call my "friend" and get something but i didnt (i did find some old baggies and rub them on my gums though lol).

Good for you man. Been there with the baggie thing though

i am also very disapointed in myself for letting something get control of me like this

Pretty natural to talk trash to yourself, but not particularly helpful to your overall well being (oops that sounded a little too much like a "counselor" for me -- sorry.) That said, go easy on yourself -- you're only just starting to understand how powerful gack can be. Even the best of us have lost a few rounds. She has a way of sneaking up on people of all walks of like and gets a hold of them when their guard is down. Good luck.

[P!MPJU!C3]

Watch comedy and smoke some Silver Pearl, anythin u can get ur hands on. Smoke Gauloises and drink Vodka non-stop. Any other possible addiction u should extort to get rid of the worst addiction(coke or smack.)
My best friend, hes still a live(a miracle), is using this method right now and he sais it works really well. Hes been lyin on my couch in my room 4 2 days now and before that he was stayin with another old friend.

[lindapwallace]

hi again
what ever you do dont give up....its very easy to let everything get on top of you at the point your at but think of the future and what you have to look forward too.
do you not think its about time you changed your name from "ihateme" to "ilike me"....
although you said it will be only 3 days, take time to do things that you want to do to keep busy and try not to look back to the old you....beating yourself over the head for allowing something to take over you doesnt help as it happens to the best of people....

look to what you want out of life and go for it, make it a happy future....
keep strong and look after yourself.....

linda (a mother)from scotland

[ihateme]

I dont even know how to thank all of you~ it has been so helpful knowing that people are rooting for me to get better.. tomorrow night will be one week, i am feeling better everyday.. i am working on making myself a happy future, i am trying to fix everything that i "broke" with my addiction.. i need to work on alot but everyday i am making strides in the right direction.. ~


~smiles~

[Nicaine]

Originally Posted by ihateme

Thanks for all the positive replys... today is the first day that i havent been on anything, my head seems clearer. hopefully i really am over it, and i can get past this. i told my "friend" not to call me and ask if i wanted some more, or not to offer it to me at all, and that i am staying away from places that i know i can get it..

Edit -- this is general advice for anyone trying to quit... IMHO-type advice anyway

If you're serious, do more than that... tell your "friend" you'll turn them in to the cops if they call again, or something like that. IME that's enough to discourage 100% of dealers.

Also if you can, try to get away somewhere for 2 weeks to a month, where you don't know anyone & have no connections. That's how I kicked late last August, went to visit relatives in Nowheres'ville Ohio for a month. I'm still free of cola, altho the anhedonia & feelings of emptiness still gets very bad sometimes (even on an antidepressant).

As far as the extreme sleepiness... sleep! You probably need it big time. IME the cravings lessen after a week or two, especially if you can forget about it most of the time. For me, it's thinking about doing it that brings on cravings.Edited by: Nicaine

[lindapwallace]

i came across this and hope it helps you ihateme..when i was going through a really bad time with my daughter someone gave me this little poem and i read it and kept it with me for comfort....i hope it helps you the way it helped me............

when things go wrong as they sometimes will
when the road you're trudging seems all uphill
when funds are low and debts are high
and you want to smile but you have to sigh
when care is pressing you down a bit
rest if you must but don't you quit.

life is strange with its twists and turns
as every one of us sometimes learns
and many a failure turns about when
they might have won
had they stuck it out
dont give up though the pace seems slow
you may succeed with another blow
success is failure turned inside out
the silver tint of the clouds of doubt
and you never can tell how close you are,
it may be near when it seems so far
so stick to the fight when you're hardest hit
its when things seem worst that you must not quit...

[discobloodbath]

nice poem

[OneDiaDem]

Keep in mind, that the people you did this with will not be so supportive. Expect calls from them, and some pressure. Be prepared to deal with that situation when it arrises. I know this is a mjor downfall for alot of people trying to quit their drug of choice.

Best wishes, and we are here.</font>

[discobloodbath]

yes best wishes and keep up the fight

[dr ACE]

just be strong and remember to stay away form the bar

[lost]

How are you doing ihateme? We haven't heard from you in a while. I hope all is well and stay strong!

[lindapwallace]

hi there ihateme.

come on in and let us know how your doing as we are all here for you.

linda
a mum

[BCgirl]

**HUGS** **HUGS** **HUGS** **HUGS** **HUGS** **HUGS**

[ihateme]

Hello everyone.. i am so glad to be "back".. two weeks ago my Dr. put me on Zoloft, and that being an SSRI..it has rare adverse side effects of depersonalization, memory loss, blurry vision and for me it was a total loss of myself.. tues everything went crazy for me i was having trouble remembering my kids, or my mom, or how i used to be.. i couldnt even change my voice mail, cause i couldnt remember how i normally sounded.. well by wed i went completly off my rocker, i was hallucinating and having the worst possible thoughts.. me and the kids went and stayed with my mom, i wasnt able to really start talking again till fri, and i just came home sunday.. i am feeling better now, i am actually feeling better than i have in a very long time, i dont know if it was the combination of coming off coke, and then taking the zoloft that it had that kind of reaction with me, but it scared the hell out of me.. the feeling of numbness and isolation started with the coke and the coming off the coke.. and then i went right on zoloft which was ten times worse than the depression.. i am getting better day by day.. a friend of mine called this weekend and wanted to know if i wanted to "skee" i said no thanks and i stayed home.. woo hoo...


Like i said everyday is better than the one before, tomorrow will be a week off the zoloft and 3 weeks off the coke.. yaaa!!! i am still having trouble remembering certain things, and there are still things that seem surreal.. but i know that i am on the way back to the michele that everyone knows and misses... thanks everyone.. and i am sorry if i had anyone worried.. (((((everyone))))