Social - Top Ten: Things You Don't Hear A Crack Smoker Say

[nyc2mia]

This Should Go Here Because People Who Have Never Smoked May Not Get The Humor

10. Damn, I Just Took A Hit And Man Am I Starving

9. Gosh Man, I Really Am Packing On The Pounds Smoking These Rocks

8. Naw Man, Thats Okay, I Had One Hit And That Was All I Wanted - I'm Off To Bed

Okay Peeps, Swim Had More Funny Ones 2 Days Ago When He Started This Run... But Now I Am Coming Down So Swim Will Need Your Help - I Am Sure There Are Some Smokers Out There With A Sense Of Humor

[Nicaine]

7. Hey my good friend, thank you for buying me cigarettes today... Here, have my last five rocks and enjoy yourself! I will hold the lighter for you.

[nyc2mia]

6. I never say..shhh, be quiet, or think i hear the police or someone coming, or peek out the blind or curtain after i take a good ringer hit - and i mean, never ever!!! lol

[nyc2mia]

5. No, no, no (to smoking buddy) - you must take the larger of last the 2 hits - I insist and I wont change my mind no matter how much you fuss about it!!! - oh yes my friend, by the way - feel free to scrape my (very thickly packed) resin that I have been accumulating the past 12 hours and smoke it all for yourself b4 you go!!!! I will be quite fine with that!

(man swim has seen dudes get major ass whippins for scrapin or pushing some one else's stem when someone stepped away)!! SWIM never smokes around those grimy types anymore anyways...it ruins swim's tweaking!!

[nyc2mia]

Swim is curious....what is the funniest or most odd, or like the most discount (like a 27" tv for 2 rocks - like what the dope dealer paid versus what it's worth) thing swiy has seen someone selling or trying to sell for a crack hit...

this came up becuase last night SWIM was in da dope hole and dude came thorugh with a SONY digital camcorder with the carrying bag, one guy offered him 15 when SWIM was leaving (quickly) no need to hang around in the dope hole for police to come - SWIM wanted to get stuff, not to observe dopehole "the price is right" - when swim went to the same dope hole and saw the dealer - he said they eventually paid the guy..yikes.. hold your breath.... seven dollars....dude coulda waited till the daytime and took it to the pawnshop and got mucho bucks and still been able to get his item back.. man - wish i woulda hung around for the "auction" - swim woulda gave the guy a whole TEN bucks - lol - it's a great investment in case swim needs something of valuable to pawn till payday for some cash - swim woulda actually made a proit buying it then pawning it.

oh yea - swim has also seen couches, fridges and stoves beeing carried heads down the dope blacks tryin to sell em- but that was up in harlem...swimn laughed his ass of but swim could relate to the "desperation"

[zera]

Interesting, it sounds like the market for used consumer goods is pretty illiquid at late nights in crack smoking areas. Sounds like a business opportunity, opening 24 hour pawnshops by crack hotspots.

[nyc2mia]

that's funny because swim thought the same thing (24 hour pawn shops in the hood) as swim was writing the thread. It seems like since crack hit the market there's always been an illicit market to sell things for drugs and money - swim is sure this probably went on even before crack. One thing swim has noticed that when crack first hit - you would get closer to face value for items you sold, then as time went on the dealers became more ruthless - realizing the desperate mind state that crack user can be in and would offer swiy incredibly low prices and users would take it, not happily, but they would not want to leave without the drug.

[Alicia]

4. As deceased Sally 'used' to say " I'll just have one more." and the classic one " I feel fine really im ok."

[wellhelm]

3. "no officer I am a prostitute because I like it, I just happen to also be a crackhead."

[wellhelm]

Funny topic(kind of):
Swim used to chill at the dope house, until it got raided by SRT and swim got half an ass kicking. No more chilly there. Swim used to see all kinds of shit get sold, old 22 rifles, glocks, revolvers, going for as little as 20 bucks depending on there condition. Swim saw a guy sell an old 88 oldsmobile in great condition for 40 bucks title and all, even gave the dopeman his plate. Gold and silver were in such abundance that it would have to be something really nice for the dopeman to even look at it. Just sitting in the house bullshitting swim saw all kinds of crazy shit. People begging and shit. Offering up literally the clothes on there back. People would rent there nice ass cars out to the dope man to go cruise around the city and party for a couple hours. Will write more if swim remembers.

[Pinkavvy]

2. Nah, man... just say nope to dope and pass on grass

[Nicaine]

SWIM finds this whole topic nightmarish, having binged on crack in the early 1990s, sporadically through the 90s and (last time) in 2000 right before the presidential election. Just reading these posts puts SWIM in a bad mood .

[Jatelka]

Not such a funny topic, if you think about it.

How many people who would swap 2 rocks for a 27" TV, OWN a 27" TV? If it's not their TV then where did they get it from?

Substitute "used" consumer goods for "stolen" consumer goods, and see how amusing it is now.

SWIJ doesn't think this one is going anywhere. CLOSED

[nyc2mia]

1. No honey, of course swim doesnt mind taking the long way home and stopping to get swiy some things while I am on my way back from copping my first rocks of the (day, week, month..fill in what applies)...i mean i've been waiting all (day , week, month) for that first blast.. what's another half an hour with the smoking butterflies jumping around in my belly, no hun i am not upset nor am I in a rush to get that first hit..LMAO

[nyc2mia]

well, whats next - another "things you don't hear" or how about "things you always hear a crack smoker say"...yes thats it-

Top Ten Things You Always Hear A Crack Smoker Say


10. Shhhhhh, do you hear that? It sounds like the police, be quiet they are coming - guess this should actually the number one all time favorite...

9. Damn, I know I had one more (rock/baggie/hit in my pocket somewhere (while searching pockets over and over and over).

keep it going...

[wellhelm]

8. "Please dude. Let me get just one hit." NO! "come on man I'll pay you back double when I get my check."

[Pinkavvy]

7. "Can I push your stem PLEASE?? Im feindin man"

[Danc9552003]

6."Hey man, can I borrow like 5 or 10 bucks? It's cuz I'm short on my rent."

[madlost]

Damn that was a good one...

[dolphinsnow18]

Originally Posted by wellhelm

8. "Please dude. Let me get just one hit." NO! "come on man I'll pay you back double when I get my check."

The check part applies to snorting as well. SWIM use to help out a friend now and then, never really asked for that promsied check though. SWIM's friend paid him back in so many other ways

[beena]

5) "shall we get some more?"

4) "I'm sure I dropped some earlier . . . help me look": followed by two grown-ups crawling around the floor at stupid-o'clock in the morning, and then upon finding and smoking what one assumed to be crack "nah, man that was bread".

[fnord]

i know we checked the whole floor 42 times but did we check the vacuum cleaner yet?

[beena]

"what do ya mean he's turned his phone off, its only five o'clock in the morning"

[weidland]

Three hours after the last hit, "I promise this is the last time I'm smoking that crap and this time I mean it!"

[weidland]

Swim usually smokes crack alone by himself. This time he went with several people he meet at the dealers house. We shared about 5 grams with 4 people. Swim purchased the majority of it, 3 grams. Well one of the other smokers handled the crack and swim never got to handle it although he purchased the majority of it (swim didn't want to complain too much since this guy was huge and probably carried). What really pissed swim off was the only time swim got a hit was either by shotgun through a bathroom tissue roll or after two hits have been done after a fresh installation of crack in the pipe. He never got to push it either. Then suddenly it was all gone in 2 hours (yeah right). Swim hates partying with others since most are greedy especially when it comes to crack.