Help Needed to Forget

[Trebor]

We all want to remmebr things, be they people's faces, smells or just a time. I however, want to forget. I have these meomorys of an ex who cheated on me infront of me knowing full well there was little I could do (long story) and now I want to forget. Anybody care to recommend someting?

[Nagognog2]

Doing well is the best revenge.

[Trebor]

I have done anfd am oding well but I still meet these meomorys which are triggered by various things. PLaces we went to, things we did etc.

[Alfa]

Chicks, women, angels and devils. And lot's and lots of sex with them.

[Nicaine]

"Forgetting" tends to just push stuff into the subconscious... in SWIM's opinion, it's better to process negative crap like that and get over it permanently instead of trying to forget it.

Any forgetting accomplished by a substance (e.g. alcohol) will only be temporary anyway.

[Nagognog2]

"Modern" psychiatry invented a way to make people forget. It used to be called Electro-Shock Therapy. Now it's called Electro-Convulsive Therapy (ECT). Of course it had/has a few little drawbacks - like forgetting your name, where you lived, what you had a college degree in...

I was thinking of advertising a Do-It-Yourself "Home-Version" of this on late-night TV.

But seriously - Time heals all wounds. And wounds all heels.

[fnord]

i read a book choke by chuck plainuk where he said

"Ever since the story of Adam and Eve in the Bible, humanity has been a little too smart for its own good, the Mommy said. Ever since eating that apple. Her goal was to find, if not a cure, then at least a treatment that would give people back their innocence."

One of the chemicals she experiments with is trichloroethane:

"Trichloroethane," the Mommy said and held the tube for him to see. "All my extensive testing has shown this to be the best treatment for a dangerous excess of human knowledg

not a good idea its bad for you

[Nagognog2]

Then I once must have met the most innocent person of all: She had been huffing methylene chloride in a hair-dressing salon for 30 years! She had no human knowledge whatsoever - and no aspirations to ever encounter any, either.

[Mr Wolf]

The only thing that ever made me forget was time.
That and replacing crappy memories in my brain with much better memories.
And there's always video games!

[Alfa]

Projects can work well as well. Or become a workaholic and fixate on other things. Probably not the healthiest thing to do, but works for many people.

[fnord]

alfa: sounds alot healthyer then trichloralethane!

[Nature Boy]

Originally Posted by Trebor

We all want to remmebr things, be they people's faces, smells or just a time. I however, want to forget. I have these meomorys of an ex who cheated on me infront of me knowing full well there was little I could do (long story) and now I want to forget. Anybody care to recommend someting?

Rough break man. I'd be in an absolute state if that happened to me. There's no advice anyone can really offer you. Just get on with life and time will be the healer.

[The Doors]

You can't just forget things, whether you like it or not. Events occur and you need to learn how to cope with them. Replacing the problem with a temporary solution is not the right thing to do, it's just prolonging it.

Emotions are there to guide but not to control your train of thought. In order to achieve a level of being content, you need to be able to accept things but also forgive yourself and others for the unfortunate events that happen... What is important is to become a better person by learning from our and other peoples mistakes and not repeat them.

[Trebor]

Hmm, thanks for the help dudes. I suppose it will be fine in time. Of course I had never considered a chemical solution.

[fnord]

hypnosis?

[Trebor]

Don't believe in it.

[The Doors]

Originally Posted by Trebor

Of course I had never considered a chemical solution.

Good, drugs are not meant to be used to forget about things.

[Solidly-here]

When a person is in Love, and is dumped, he can spend months (or years) in shock (or mourning, or ____ ).
At some point, however, it changes.

The EASIEST way to get over a girl is: Fall in Love with another one.
This is almost impossible sometimes, because I might prevent myself from cheating on my memory of the Dumper.

If I can find another way to use that Love, a different direction to channel it into, then it being used, instead of just creating a lot of un-fulfilled energy ... which turns into pain, and frustration.

A lot of women find it easy to get drunk and go home with a guy (loser or not), and let him hump her brains out. In this way she has used that energy. This often helps the recovery.

Then, the Spiritual way to Let Go.
Purposely think about her.
Then laugh about it.
Laughter has a way to convert pain into pleasure.
So, think of how silly it is for you to be in mourning.
How stupid it was for her to leave you.
What a loser she will end up with next time. ha ha, ha ha.

And, there's always Personal Counseling.
It is amazingly powerful to sit down with a person who wants you to get better.
You share your pain, he listens with compassion.
This can melt-away layers of pain.

Reputation Comments on this post:

Nice advice

[Potter]

Trebor, how can you not believe in hypnosis? It exists. That is like denying the internet or the atmosphere... If you mean you don't think it works, I'd suggest getting a book on self-hypnosis and trying it out. There is a portion of the population which it totally resistant to hypnosis, but from my own experience, the stuff can be pretty powerful.

I'd go for the old "drill-to-the-head" trick if you really want to forget something.

Hell kid, you're 19, you think that life is going to be all peaches and gumdrops? what hurts is what makes you strong. It would be a sad world if we could deny ourselves the ordeals that shape us. 8 years ago I developed Tourettes, went bat shit crazy, ended up in a psyche hospital, lost a few years to psyche drugs and totally re-shaped my life, it was hell, but I'd do it all again.

I still miss my ex, we were together for two torrid years, fought and fucked with unbelievable passion. Pretty messy relationship, but I loved her to death (and still do) I often wonder if I'll ever find anyone like her and that hurts like hell, but she shaped me and taught me so much. If anything, I learned lots about how not to have a relationship.

It gets easier with time man, shortcuts are for the weak.

Love.
Potter.

[Trebor]

I don't be;lierve in it's effects.


Also, it's not that I haven't dealt with the issues. Since then I'm in a serious long term relationship with a beautiful, talented woman. My problem is that I don't want these memorys anymore but don't seem to be able to get rid of them. It's just that when I pass by certain laces or do certain things the emotions of hatred well up inside and I get pissed of for a while.

[namooP]

As much of a cliche as it sounds, talk about it. Either to the new woman or the old one. I\'ve never been in that situation so I can\'t tell sho would be more beneficial, but getting something off my chest always help me a bit.

[~lostgurl~]

Or there is always: Propranolol - the memory pill

[LookingForHer]

Just meditate...

When you meditate, you are supposed to think of NOTHING.

Thinking of nothing, will get you the answer

[FuBai]

Vast amounts of alcohol on a regular basis did it for me. Ah, the days when I would be drinking 70 cl's of vodka a day, come into school and then, subsequently, work pissed as a newt. By the time I started working properly, after my full time education ended, I had an alcohol tolerance so high I couldn't even feel the effects of any amount smaller than 5 units and my co-workers just thought my slightly erratic behaviour was just how I was. Of course I didn't want to forget a specific memory, I wanted to fight off feelings of meaninglessness, worthlessness and general depression. Of course the effects it had on me were not positive in the long run, I became a very heavy user and found it difficult to regulate my use - I tried to follow my parents example of only half a bottle of wine a night, but found I couldn't. Now I have a scheduled time table - when I clock off on a Friday I will go and buy one 70 cl bottle of Vodka and a couple of bottles of diet, caffeine free coke, drink that on Friday night and then that's it for alcohol for the week. I have found this to be effective in reducing use - so a caveat - the use of drugs to forget is not likley to be a positive experience as it does little but plaster over the cracks rather than solving the route problem - much like drug prohibition.

[manda]

Yeah, forget- that %itch anyway! I would honestly say, if she actually did that RIGHT IN FRONT OF YOU you should be glad you found out and she's out of your life...
Whether she did it cause she didn't care for you, to make you jealous, or cause she was loaded doesn't really matter.
You sound nice, you don't need someone like that.

DON'T FORGET- REMEMBER!!!!! Remember what a low-down witch she was and don't ever date anyone like her again.
Even the most beautiful, talented folks get cheated on (look at how Halle Berry's ex cheated on her). It's not about you, it's about her.
From a girl's perspective,I feel that even if she didn't care about you she shouldn't have done it in front of you... If she was trying to make you jealous or get to you, well, that's too sick of a way to play that game.
Good luck man, you're not alone.
I dumped my fiance of 4 years about 8 months ago because he went and hid out at a girl "friends" house and when I caught him there and called him he wouldn't talk to me on the phone.
Whether it's in your face, or behind your back, it hurts.
Yet I am happy now, much happier. I hope you get over this gal, whatever you do don't take her back. When you meet a true, loyal chick- that girl will pale in comparison.