Using drugs to escape the boredom of real life.

[AceOvArts]

When I think about it, the only real reason SWIM has ever done drugs is to ..
1. Have a good time while out partying
2. Peer pressure
3. Finally to stave the boredom of life.

Now obviously its easy to say "Get a life" go do something less boring etc. etc. but nowadays SWIM is older, he don't go out much (well not ever really), there is no peer pressure (it was usually his choice anyway) so the only reason left is the boredom of normal life.
SWIM has a great life (from an outsiders point of view), a family with kids doing well in everything. A loving wife..great job, blah blah blahdy blah.
But there is and has always been something in SWIMs head (so he told me) that keeps him from being fulfilled in his life (maybe a lack of natural endorphins).
So this leads him nicely to taking drugs (all sorts, except crack or brown) basically the most fashionable thing at the time I guess.
Now SWIM is doing a fair old bit of cola, not vast amounts but a good eightball a week (sometimes more) and is bored with it, I think he would move onto harder opiates if they were openly available to him.
Does anyone else feel this way ? SWIM thinks this is the reason a lot of level headed people get into drugs, not because they are down and outs or have had a particularly hard life but are missing something that keeps them from feeling so god damn bored with life.

I dunno if this a question, just a statement or what but I would like to hear from anyone in a similar boat.

Thanks for listening to the rubbish that spews from me sometimes.

-=AOA=-

[Nagognog2]

Originally Posted by AceOvArts

Thanks for listening to the rubbish that spews from me sometimes.

-=AOA=-

Sometime people use drugs because they fear they are boring and dull unless they are drunk or high. This is quite common actually. If this is the case, one is using the substance for an unrealistic reason - and this causes the addiction. The real problem can be addressed quickly and effectively. This doesn't mean the drugs/drink must be abandoned entirely and the person must end-up in a 12-step program. It just means one needs to get over thinking they are dull and uninteresting.

[stoneinfocus]

Originally Posted by Nagognog2

Sometime people use drugs because they fear they are boring and dull unless they are drunk or high. This is quite common actually. If this is the case, one is using the substance for an unrealistic reason - and this causes the addiction. The real problem can be addressed quickly and effectively. This doesn't mean the drugs/drink must be abandoned entirely and the person must end-up in a 12-step program. It just means one needs to get over thinking they are dull and uninteresting.

In fact ,they really are (not ), just think of all the great invetions of mankind during the centuries and then compare this to things, we were raving about like crazy some time ago, now loolking pretty stupid and/or unintresting!

Then again, we might fall for the simple beauty of light refracting in a glass of carbonated water, running into it, the sun, the breathing when we´re communicating and feeling a connection the mood and personality of someone, opening doors and wouldn´t like to trade this feeling for nothing in this world, no, drug, no whatsoever, yet, knowing that this moment only exist to wane, teaching us to move on and axplore new frontiers, that will grant us this feeling once again.

And here we are.2007, wow, internet, freepatents-online, pub-med, websites, porn, mostly for free,

Swim sometimes needs to desesitze in some way, and when he´s rebooted his mind, he really can separate the good jokes from the bad ones in commercials and laughing at it, he´s in a conscious state of mind, ready to take on whatever comes to swim´s mind and executing this without fear (ideally, fear and planning is a prob, burt swim realized, that it was everytime a sacrifice, not doinfg even "dangerous" things" that came to >swim´s< mind).

[AceOvArts]

So here I am again. OK SWIM gave in and went to the docs. He said he was a moderate to severe depressive (after asking SWIM a little list of questions, they can tell this apparently from just asking a few Qs about how someo is feeling). Well, that day SWIM took his first "10mg Citalopram tab" so, about 3 hours later he starts having what can only be described as a panic attack (SWIM says he has never had one before though the final outcome was the same as something that has happend before), SWIM rushes out of his office to the train station and finally gets home and completely breaks down. Crying, the whole 9 yrds. SWIMs subseqent days get better and better, primarily because he is on holiday, a big stressful time at work has ended and he can relax. Its odd, he is still taking the SSRI now 7 days later but feels its not the drug thats making him feel better (They should take 7-10 days to kick in properly) but the breakdown. Which now seems more like a huge release of stress and tension, which has happend before to him. SWIM is so confident of this he is very seriously thinking of coming off the meds. SWIM hasnt taken anything hard in a couple of weeks now (which is almost definately a part of it all).
Crazy thing is now that SWIM is on hols in florida taking the kids to disneyland, which is gonna be alot of fun for him, he wont need no artificial highs (apart from artificially boosting his endorphins on the rides).
Hmmm.....I wonder how he will feel in 3 weeks when he has to return to work. And to the area where Class A drugs are so freely available.
Return next week for the next installment of MID-LIFE CRISIS MAN

[augentier]

Not to burst your bubble, but maybe the meds ARE what is working. My little sister was recently diagnosed with severe depression along with some other things, and she was put on Citalopram...since going on the meds she has DRASTICALLY, and I can't stress that word enough, improved..she said she had some crazy mood swings at first (believe me, she did - batshit crazy) but now - 10000000% better.

So ..just saying, as someone who notices the improvement from this med, if I were you I'd check with the doc before deciding to go off the meds..just in case. And don't believe that this new confidence you have is "artificial" .. it could very well be that this is how you are supposed to feel, this is your normal self, some type of natural chemical inbalance you have could be your depression and so it's normal for you to now feel that your happiness is artificial - i don't believe it is. it's great that you're feeling better..that is what matters!

(after reading this i realized i sound really preachy...i don't mean to :P )

[kumar]

This may sound a little stupid though i think its far from it.
You may all have life goals in which you have either acomplished or planned to. Surely you have herd boring preachers tell you how your life should be built apon goals. I have always imagined that one day if i ever felt lost, bored, depressed i would make a decision to become something no one thought possible e.g a famous person of somesort. something i knew i had interest and although not needed some skill within the field.

What im trying to get at is although i am young i believe alot of goals within life are to be set at an older age, why not set yourself a goal you never thought you'd ever acomplish. I mean why not? It may seem far fetch but shit, become an astronaut, cure cancer, who cares if you dont have a degree get one. Relieve your boredom become something more, i know its be used and abused but anything is possible no matter what.

I may be coming across whith no sense but i believe anyone is possible of becoming something they have always wanted.

regards Swim

[AceOvArts]

Originally Posted by augentier

Not to burst your bubble, but maybe the meds ARE what is working.

What after 1 day ? (I have used Prozac and Seroxat before so I know what they do to me) Ive now been on them for 7 days but I felt better the next day, coincidentally it was my first day of holiday which meant the full on lack of stress.
Im not knocking the meds that hard though im dubious of thier pros. Something that does bug me is the lack of research done into long term use of SSRIs. I feel that there will come a time when this type of drug is looked upon as benzos of the past are now. They were great at the time wernt they, until they realized everyone was hooked. Doctors (at least GPs) dont seem to understand why some types of SSRI drugs react in different ways with people, its real hit and miss shit. Like "Oh this didnt work try this one" Its totally random, very disconcerting really, what are they actually doing to my brain. Until they understand why they are perscribing a certain type of drug it makes one totally suspicious of the whole SSRI fashion. (Dont worry about feeling preachy, hehe)

[AceOvArts]

Originally Posted by Me1

I may be coming across whith no sense but i believe anyone is possible of becoming something they have always wanted.

SWIM has actually achieved some but not all of his goals set when he was younger, unfortunately they are to do with the work he does and to achieve these goals you do have to put yourself under lots of pressure (competition is high out there). But yea, maybe he should try setting a goal completely different from what he first set out, SWIM does have an very busy life, he has 3 young kids, well twin boys of 5 and a 9 year old girl so his life is not without things to do.
SWIM is not sure that even with a busy life the feeling of boredom can still be present.SWIM thinks this is more about life being in a rut etc.
Oh its such a tangled web ....the brain I mean

[Nicaine]

Boredom is a mood or state of mind, not a lack of interesting things to do. Next time SWIY is bored, think through the situation... likely there are a crapload of things to do, but SWIY doesn't feel like doing anything.

SWIM feels chronic boredom is a form of depression... there's no way to get past it except maybe antidepressants, therapy or something like that. Realizing what it really is can be a first step too.

[Nagognog2]

Originally Posted by Nicaine

SWIM feels chronic boredom is a form of depression... there's no way to get past it except maybe antidepressants, therapy or something like that.

That's got to be the worst thing I've read in the last week - and I read the New York Times! There are, indeed, ways to "get past it" that don't require drugs or psychology - for the majority of people. One may very well be between interests in life. Suddenly a new interest pops up. Could be learning forestry. Collecting stamps. Building cars.

Being bored on occasion is certainly not grounds to jump for Dr. Dippy's jar of pills and replace boredom with yibbling on a couch. One will change the brain-chemistry for a good, long while. The other will replace boredom with lying on a couch and having some dope scribble on a pad of paper how bored you are - ask you how bored you are feeling - reinforce your feeling bored - and he buys himself a ski chalet in Switzerland.

Give yourself a chance.

[Nicaine]

Originally Posted by Nagognog2

That's got to be the worst thing I've read in the last week - and I read the New York Times!

LOL... we all have our opinions. SWIM has had decent luck in the past with antidepressants (shorter course, not years & years). Psychotherapy recomm. was admittedly a bit off the wall, rarely seems to help with depressive symptoms.

There are, indeed, ways to "get past it" that don't require drugs or psychology - for the majority of people. One may very well be between interests in life. Suddenly a new interest pops up. Could be learning forestry. Collecting stamps. Building cars.

Trouble with boredom tho is that the most exciting thing in the world typically sounds boring to do. SWIM would have trouble motivating himself to collect $100,000 lottery money when he's extremely bored with life... just seems BORING to mess around with money. Ya know? Just SWIM's personal experience, YMMV.

[Nagognog2]

You wouldn't motivate to collect a check for $100,000? You don't need a shrink. You need a straight-jacket! Look Nicaine, not everyone (most) are that far down in the rinse-cycle of the mind. In the 40's one goes through hoops and loops. It's part of life. The author is in his 40's, You are. And so am I. It's always a bitch when things change and things that thrilled us become yawnable. We wish for solid ground. This is normal. Get used to it. Why do you think so many conservative nazis are in their 40's?

This is not a reason to reach for the drugs or suck up to the shrink - all a decent shrink would say is: "Sucks, don't it?"

Now try not to join the nazis and stay away from the pills and doctors. Soon enough you'll be trying to catch butterflies on Gilligan's Island. Trust me....there's a Hemioptera Vulvaceas!

[Nicaine]

Originally Posted by Nagognog2

You wouldn't motivate to collect a check for $100,000? You don't need a shrink.

OK, I'd probably collect it, but honest to g_d without much interest. Probably with a feeling of hope that maybe having the $$ to spend would spring me out of the psychological state of boredom.

Look Nicaine, not everyone (most) are that far down in the rinse-cycle of the mind. In the 40's one goes through hoops and loops. It's part of life. The author is in his 40's, You are. And so am I. It's always a bitch when things change and things that thrilled us become yawnable. We wish for solid ground. This is normal. Get used to it. Why do you think so many conservative nazis are in their 40's?

I didn't say I suffer from chronic/severe boredom myself, just that I have in the past. It's quite miserable. One will often do almost anything that seems to offer a chance of salvation from the resulting state of psychological deadness and meaninglessness.

P.S. just chatting with you here, I really don't want to argue. The *only* point I was trying to make is that boredom is a psychological state often unrelated to how much there actually is to do... it's very deceptive. As with many psychological issues, understanding what's really going on in one's head is a major step toward 'recovery'.

[Nagognog2]

Originally Posted by Nicaine

It's quite miserable. One will often do almost anything that seems to offer a chance of salvation from the resulting state of psychological deadness and meaninglessness.

Oh I know some people will do anything to break free of this cycle, and some of their methods don't work but, instead, perpetuate the situation. Why, you wouldn't believe what some people have done to break their cycles of addiction and boredom. I've seen some of the most hideous glimpses of bored people on the internet! Image a man in his 40's dancing...oh - it's too awful to say.

Anyway - there are other ways to get through this without one resorting to drugs from a doctor. Or elsewhere to alleviate boredom.

[Nicaine]

Originally Posted by Nagognog2

I've seen some of the most hideous glimpses of bored people on the internet! Image a man in his 40's dancing...oh - it's too awful to say.

In many cases I'd agree, but I did a crapload of clubbing in the 80s and frankly I'm a damn good dancer for a white guy . I can sing too, perfect vocal range for crooning pop love songs... (ladies, one at a time... one at a time now...)

[Sitbcknchill]

Originally Posted by Nicaine

In many cases I'd agree, but I did a crapload of clubbing in the 80s and frankly I'm a damn good dancer for a white guy . I can sing too, perfect vocal range for crooning pop love songs... (ladies, one at a time... one at a time now...)

Next time try and keep your clothes on there, lil man

[AKA.Sprinkles]

Originally Posted by Nicaine

OK, I'd probably collect it, but honest to g_d without much interest. Probably with a feeling of hope that maybe having the $$ to spend would spring me out of the psychological state of boredom.

I didn't say I suffer from chronic/severe boredom myself, just that I have in the past. It's quite miserable. One will often do almost anything that seems to offer a chance of salvation from the resulting state of psychological deadness and meaninglessness.

P.S. just chatting with you here, I really don't want to argue. The *only* point I was trying to make is that boredom is a psychological state often unrelated to how much there actually is to do... it's very deceptive. As with many psychological issues, understanding what's really going on in one's head is a major step toward 'recovery'.

Definatlly... I have always had the whole boredome issue!! Tryin' to get clean just makes it worth... I always like the powder because it will make the most insignificant little activity have all the intensity and meaning in the world.... My biggest issue with my habit is the fact that I will literally spend days in my room formating my itunes, or looking for old friends from middle school on myspace...

I often times ask myself what it would take for me to lose in order to finally quit.. pathetically enough I will stop at nothing... But I think the bigger issue is that in reality it's not the threat to and ultimate loss of anything positive or functional in my life...

It's that while I was bored and depressed naturally, after expieriencing absolute contentment on coke, and the absolute misery of fiending..... I wouldn't give it up for anything either.. I can't get clean because I know that I will use again eventually, even if just for recreation.. and that I wouldn't give it up for anything.

I wouldn't get up to get that check if it meant I had to be clean for a year.

Anymore I crave the comedown even more than the (absolutly ineffective lately) high just because at least being suicidal gives me something to focus on!!! It's amazing to think about it when you're at least somewhat sober, but after a day or two staring at the walls in my room, the tediousness of college became unbearable...

[longdistancerunner]

Originally Posted by AKA.Sprinkles

Anymore I crave the comedown even more than the (absolutly ineffective lately) high just because at least being suicidal gives me something to focus on!!! It's amazing to think about it when you're at least somewhat sober, but after a day or two staring at the walls in my room, the tediousness of college became unbearable...

Ahahahahah Swiy sounds a lot like Swim...He occasionally finds pleasure in getting himself addicted to various substances because addiction at least gives him something to think about. This past week he excessively indulged in oxycontin every single day and is now trying to go this week without opiates, his prescribed adderol, and cigarettes.....And oh haven't these first two days been interesting!

I'm not exactly one to give advice to a 40 year old but my two cents on this topic go like this: be creative, you are free to enjoy and experience life however you so please. I suggest, if you are into this sort of thing, reading up on Zen Buddhism and other various mindfuckeries. Franz Kafka wrote some neat stories that might knock around your head a little bit. One of Swim's favorite things to kick-start and refresh his head is a strong trip on some good mushrooms. Have some fun!

[Alicia]

Take up Tai Chi or meditate Always works for swia. Swimmings fun too! Interesting thread.

[Paracelsus]

Using opiates to overcome life (on a regular basis) can RUIN it, as it has done with countless people. Imagine SWIM in rehab/prison with his family/job/etc all gone. I don't think that would be a more interesting life.

Getting some interesting activity (growing plants, paint, photographing, writing poetry, etc etc.) can help. Maybe get some counseling?

[Nicaine]

Originally Posted by Paracelsus

Using opiates to overcome life (on a regular basis) can RUIN it, as it has done with countless people.

In SWIM's experience, in the end opiates tend to create precisely those things they originally helped the user escape from -- boredom among them, but also physical pain (from w/d's), difficulty sleeping, anxiety, etc.

Boredom is a major one tho... ISE chronic opiate use, particularly pills and such, encourages the user to just sit around doing nothing (but feeling euphoria) until extreme boredom, depression and feelings of being trapped in an inescapable cycle become a way of life... it's like being in a sort of kinder/gentler hell. SWIM has been there and would not like to go back. Unfortunately, heavy kratom use presents a lightweight but still unpleasant version that he's on the verge of falling back into.

[AceOvArts]

SWIM is one of those people that goes through depressive states, ups and downs like we all do but his are a little higher and lower. He has been prescribed anti-depressants until he realised that they were sort of like putting a band aid over a wound, it hides it, it doesn't heal it but it can help the healing process. Unfortunately in thinking this he now wont go to the doc unless he is in such a bad state of mind its time to listen to others. I think meditation and/or therapy are possible solutions, He always had an interest in meditation so that's a possible for sure. He always went headlong into things too, went on a health kick (so much so that he did body-building yadyaydyadya). He took a keen interest in growing plants (the therapeutic kind and ended up cross breeding etc. etc. but now he had kids feels its a bit irresponsible to have that stuff around the house stinking up the place).
I dunno, possible mid-life crisis ?...heheh

[motorhead]

Life is but a walking shadow. Drugs can certainly eliviate the boredom of life, but, as already mentioned, can lead to addiction and all the troubles that go with it.

Sounds like you need a good hobby or challenge, maybe a hooker? What was your childhood dream?

Maybe you are bored with the 9-5 life, with the wife, the job, the kids, the blah blah blah, not just life itself. Granted, this a tough life to leave behind in persuit of more endorphins, but maybe you dont have to leave it, just shake it up a whole bunch.

Or set a goal. My wife and I, just the other day, decided that we want to get a sail boat after the kids are gone, and just spend the last of our days getting drunk and sailing around the equator. Will it ever really happen? Who knows, but it is something to look forward to.

Anyways, just remember-Drugs aren't bad, but addiction is, and will fuck you over solid and take everything you have, including all the boring stuff.

cheers

[ojos_de_brujo]

Swim's not a 40-year old man, but she would also advice setting new goals.
In his twenties one has all these dreams: a place to live, a nice job, a family. If you have reached these goals, live tends to get boring. Swim doesn't remember which great writer once wrote: 'the worst thing that could happen to a person is that his dreams come true'. He said it more eloquently of course.
Swim doesn't believe this saying is totally true, but finds it a quite interesting thought.
Setting goals and enjoying your work to achieve them might be the way to go.
Also, ' learning to enjoy the little things' -it's a huge cliché, Swim knows- might help.

And if SWIY really thinks it's a problem of endorphines, jogging or running is good. Maybe Swiy can go bungee-jumping, or basejumping, anything that will give a nice adrenalin rush.

A lot of old clichés in this post, but hell, they work for Swim.

[Nagognog2]

Yeah kid - classic mid-life crisis material. Go buy a red sports-car and tool on down the M1 blasting songs of your youth. Then go home. Park it. Hope the real kids don't steal it. And take up Yoga so you can kick yourself in your arse.

But don't worry - this shit wears off pretty quick once it comes to a head. Soon you'll forget about being bored and go back the things you enjoy. Drugs may help a few things, but growing up isn't one of them. There is only one solution for that. Shall I say it and scare your pants off?

DEATH!

Now relax. You're doing fine.