I'd like to make it clear that this Article was written by SWIM and I have his permission to post it here.
A Guide to Stoner Etiquette
The vast majority of cannabis arrests lead to the ultimate charge “intent to supply to others”. I myself have been charged with that. I have never dealt to anybody. But had someone asked me to have a joint with them I’d have no objection to taking something from my stash to share.
It seems to me that there is an element of community among those who smoke weed. Take for example the typical Irish suburb. There is always one family that will try to out do the neighbours, be it who’s Range Rover has the biggest wheels or who’s kid wears the most expensive boxers (I was in Brown Thomas on Monday and this woman bought SEVEN pairs of Calvin Klein boxers for a kid who must have been no older then five!) . Another family, this will be the one that has cannabis in their lives. They just want to go to work, get paid, and spend their free time with family and friends.
My girlfriend and I would be an example of the later, bar the fact that I wear CK’s... So, when we do have friends over we bring out the good bong, the good weed and very often I cook food. So here’s what usually happens: Our friends arrive, I open the gates for them to park their cars and buzz them in. they are greeted by my dog who is later sedated with a brownie and we have dinner. Often with my own blend of herbs and spices. After dinner I roll the first joint and pass to the left. Always pass to the left. It shows you to be cultured. the person who gets the last smoke is given the job of rolling the next joint. This is to compensate him or her for being the last person to smoke. They then get to spark it.
Topics of conversation seem to involve philosophy, movies, music, and the typical subjects of the enlightened. very seldom does work come up unless it’s to celebrate a promotion or something. The choice of music should be neutral to everybody's taste, which is why I play a lot of Reggae. Who doesn’t like Reggae? So the night progresses and the box empties. I remember one particular session in which I ended up playing the entire Dark Side of the Moon album on my guitar and having the neighbours threaten to call the cops. But they’re coke heads so I knew they wouldn‘t.
How to get rid of guests is a delicate matter. You don’t want to offend them but the weed has gotten you so horny you don’t want them to wait any longer. My nephew comes in handy here. I’ll text him to call to the apartment looking for something. Nobody wants to appear stoned in front of a 16 year old. Ironic though, he could out smoke them all. So they make excuses to leave. Ever been at a party and someone is way to fucked to drive? I’ll always make sure everyone is sober enough or else call a taxi for them. I don’t like risking lives in the way of my libido. If I believe I’m sober enough I’ll drive them. But for the most part I just get a taxi for them.
I’m off to Thailand on Monday nest and will be back Friday. It’s been agreed with a mate that he’s to drive my car to the airport and have a few joints rolled for me to smoke on my way back home. There is nothing more refreshing then a fat blunt after a long plane ride. Even as a kid I’d rent a locker and stash a few joints in it for my return trip. So if you ever have to pick someone up from an airport/sea port/ bus stop, have a joint for them.
Should we give dope to anyone? No. Only to those who you’ll believe can return the favour. There is nothing worse then feeling cheated. Happened to me a few times. Never invited those people back again. If you know anybody who always says “Hey man, my dealers late delivering, can you hook me up?”, avoid them like the plague they are. They are also the people who’ll rat you out. Don't associate with them. Also, don’t just bring anybody to your home. I was at a gig that a former teacher of mine was playing and in a n attempt to invite him back to my place I ended up yelling to him to come to my place for a smoke across a bar. I’m glad nobody there knew who I was because on my way out three people asked me where I lived so they could come. Normally it’s the musician who’s harassed on the way out.
I hope this guide is of benefit to it’s readers and I’d like to wish everyone a happy smoke. I now leave you with a quote from Mr. John Lennon. “I get high with a little help from my friends.”
02-03-2007, 22:22
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