Experiences - SWIM's a real jerk when he's drunk

[bcubed]

Got to tell ya, this SWIM fella's been getting on my nerves lately. Listen to this:

SWIM bears a passing resemblance to me. Accordingly, he thinks it humorous to go into bars, do wildly inappropriate things while loaded, then claim to be me! Next day, I'M the one who catches hell. If he wasn't such a good tipper, we'd both have 86'd outta every joint in town.

Plus, he steals my money. I can't tell you the amount of times I've woken up in the morning and found money missing! I sure don't recall spending it--can't imagine who else it could be.

But here's the worst: last night, the two of us are out drinking. While I'm being cautious and staying within the public drunkenness/DWI laws of my state, SWIM's being his usual, kamikaze-drunk self. Safely and legally at home, I make the mistake of trying to catch up to him. Don't remember getting into bed that night, but when the sun wakes me up the next morning, the bastard's wearing my pants! I tell ya, some things you're better off not remembering.

[Riconoen {UGC}]

Maybe its time you go in there, tell your SWIM to put down the Jim Beam, and do some better drugs.

[Nagognog2]

At the bar on top of the Empire State Building in New York, one drunk is talking to another: "I'm tellin' ya it works everytime! I'll bet you I can jump off the rail here and the wind will carry me around to the other side of the building and put me back right here! Twenty bucks says I can!" The other drunk sees a sure thing and they both give a twenty dollar bill to the bartender to hold. And the first drunk gets up on the rail and jumps. He swoops around the outside of the building and lands back behind the second drunk. "See? It's easy! Now you try it. I'll give you back that twenty bucks! You can do it. It's easy!" So the second drunk gets up on the rail. And jumps. And plummets 1,000 feet down to the pavement. Dead.

The first drunk goes over to the bartender to collect the two twenty dollar bills. The bartender hands over the money and says: "You're a real asshole when you drink, Superman."

[Alicia]

^^^ Brilliant, I love that. hheheehee