Diary of a Mad Tweaker

[Nicaine]

Caution: The author of this journal may be clinically insane. Read at your own risk.

Entry #1

SWIM has been rolling for somewhere between 12 and 60 hours (strong stimulant, dopamine reuptake inhibitor). There's no sense of time passing, merely a series of disconnected events, so it's necessary to just guess.

SWIM has taken harm reduction to the limit, which paradoxically allows him to take his (ab)use to the limit as well. Heart medications like enalapril, atenolol, labetalol and verapamil are available, although not to be used all at the same time. Benzos, phenibut and a sedative-hypnotic are available if things get too tweaky. Taurine and L-Tyrosine are available on the amino acid tip. Calcium, magnesium, A/C/E complex, B-50 and full spectrum therapeutic vitamins can be taken. Ginkgo biloba, Hawthorn berry, EGCg in the way of herbals. Kratom for comedowns and in-between times. Prilosec is there for stomach acid problems. Docusate Sodium for constipation. Trileptal is available on the off-chance a strong anticonvulsant is needed. Electrolyte tablets are available for potential imbalances, and acetaminophen for pain relief. Benzocaine cream for local pain/itching. Microwaveable heat pack for sore muscles. Large, reusable enema bag for really bad constipation (only happens about once every few days... that's not so bad!).

In addition, SWIM keeps his fluid intake high and tries to remember to eat at least simple carbs. He usually does protein shakes at least once/day. Gallon jug of water by the computer to refill from. A special bottle in case he's too drained to take a piss standing up, not to mention what can be a fairly long four-meter walk to the toilet.

Has SWIM thought of everything? He cannot leave anything out. Nothing can be overlooked. If a massive heart attack occurs, he will be able to at least attempt reaching for the telephone before blacking out. He will have to close his encrypted drive w/usernames, passwords, etc. before he dies. Why the hell it matters, SWIM hasn't a clue, but it does.

SWIM's roommate sometimes departs for 24 hours at a time, so luckily the weather's cool this time of year and bodies don't rot that fast. SWIM's corpse would be surrounded by one hell of a jumbled mess of drugs, herbs, dirty cups and glasses, napkins, crushed pills lying around, scattered dirty clothing, empty oral and anal syringes, empty glass vials, eyedroppers, never-opened pieces of mail, books, food, pens, rubber bands, notes with unreadable crap written on them, CD cases, empty Altoids tins, empty plastic bottles, plastic bags, and, of course, one nasal pump sprayer (small) about 1/4 full of an unknown liquid, in which is dissolved a certain unknown substance that basically caused all this sh*t.

Reputation Comments on this post:

your where most people can't even imagen