Where was my wallet the last time I saw it? (A real life mystery)
It was a good question.
Horrors if I'd dropped it outside the gas station. Had plenty of gas, was just buying gum at the quick stop. One expensize pack of gum if ya ask me.
But no, I probably just pulled cash from my jacket pocket and NOT reached for me wallet.
So we back up: Went to 2 Safeways last nite. The first was to buy a sandwich, the second to hit on Beth the Filippino girl working the counter. All in fun, she's just a good friend. Her brother used to work for me. Frigin GORGEOUS girl though. too bad her husband is a friend of mine too.
But Beth wasn't working. So that means it was either at the first Safeway or elsewhere.
Think man think...
Wait a min, besides the sandwich you bought TWO Foster lagers at the Un Safeway. Was 2 for $4.00, a bargain remember? AHAH!
So what does this mean, I was half shit faced and dropped the wallet in Timbuk Two? No, I weigh nearly 240 lbs. A Foster lager hardly puts me close to the legal limit. Not over a 2 & 1/2 hour period.
Now i get it! Thought just MAYBE the booze on my breath MIGHT cause a fuss if they were running the Thanksgiving weekend checkpoints. Don't even think they run checkpoints here in CA but that was my thought...
So I'd just crossed the Golden Gate Bridge, turned into the Vista point lane (scenic view) and opened my wallet. It was THERE that i last saw the wallet. And i never left the car.
Why look in my wallet? To destroy the receipt that said I'd bought TWO Foster Lagers. Can't be too careful these day. Not with Johnny cop a waitin'...
I don't mind THE MAN finding an unopened can of Foster's in the car, but a NOT a receipt showing i once had downed a whole one on the same evening. Suppose I got rear ended by a semi. Fractured skull and everything. Soon as they find the lager tag i'm fucked.
Had forgot to return my wallet to pants pocket afterwards. So my wallet was lying on the floor of the backseat. Damn good thing: Had all my ID, credit card, ATM and four hundred dollah cash.
Whew!!!
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I'd like to grow wise and venerable, but I haven't figured out how to do it yet. Quote by Edward Abbey