Spiritual - repetetive nos trips, can you see your foot prints in the path of nos?

[geezaman]

Any little Swimmer who has ever done nos will most likely have experienced the echoing sounds, but for those who woke up one morning lacking memory of the past few days but surrounded by little clinking canisters, or for those who have mixed nos with other drugs such as E, weed, or alcohol (SWIM knows mixing disassociates and alcohol is not healthy)another level or 2 or perhaps 3 may have been found within the nos experience.

SWIM no longer does nos until he knows he is peaking on something else so as to ease his propulsion to these other levels. But within these other levels SWIM has found that the trip follows a well worn path of previous trips, Is this just SWIM? SWIM has now begun to try and record the path his trips follow so he can look at it when sober (if its the same every time it might have some meaning)

An example of something which played a part in SWIMs nos trips for a number of months was two good friends appearing in 2D on a screen one with a blue the other red background, both facing one another one on the left the other on the right, they would then bob forward and backward (in relation to them selfs) arguing. this "item" within SWIM trips would appear regularly in the same place within the trip (preceded each time by the same visuals)

SWIM is now managing to pull himself from a trip sometimes and scrawl down his thoughts, in the morning although not making sense SWIM recognizes he has experienced them in other trips. examples are as follows

It always goes wrongdocerty it has the past 3 times
and
the convo is in manish Ug Ugs

with these hints SWIM now knows wrongdocerty is a word or set of sounds that repeat at a stage in the trip, Manish ug ugs relates to the tone/nature of SWIMs internal voice as he vocally (in his head) thinks or argues with other items within the trip or himself

SWIMs problem is that an Evil clown has now appeared in SWIMs trips with the sole purpose of stopping SWIM remembering, the path of his trips

The clown grabs thoughts that SWIM is trying desperately to hold on to and plucks them from swims mind in unusual and interesting fashions. most recently throwing his tongue (like a fly eating lizard might) at the thought, catching it then moving away backwards pulling the thought from SWIMs mind as SWIM held on the clowns head spun slowly putting 2 twists into SWIMs now distended thought (SWIM actually felt his thought being pulled, stretched and twisted, that was most odd) at this SWIM knows he let go and the thought sprang to the clown as if on elastic.



So does anyone else follow they're own well worn nos path?
does anyone else battle with some figment of they're trip to keep thoughts?
and does anybody else see the clowns?

[Akewstick]

SWIM's trips are very much echoes of previous trips, or more accurately, extensions of previous trips. The thing that get's SWIM is this: He'll break through to a new place, a new world, sometimes it's just a big black space with something going "duvv duvv duvv duvv duvv" in the background, but it feels gorgeous, and in that moment he's convinced it's the best thing in the world, nothing could ever be better.

Then SWIM gets pushed higher up, into a different world, more exciting, with brighter colours and where a whole new aesthetic exists, and he decides, no, THIS is the best thing in the world, nothing could ever be better.

Then SWIM goes to another world, where patterns are more complicated, and everything is more vibrant and gorgeous, and each time he goes to a different plane, he decides that it's infinitely better than the last, and the last is only a stepping stone to this one.

However, when SWIM starts a new nos trip, he goes in at the first world, and says "oh my god, i was so wrong, this world is better than all the others", and then he might go to the 2nd, or he might skip to the 5th, and after the 5th to the 17th, and after that back to the 9th, and no matter which world he ends up in, he thinks "wow, THIS is the one i have to remember, all the others are puny in comparisson".

Once, SWIM ate about a 16th of an ounce of bud-and-cheese on toast, did 2 Es and sat down with a king crimson album and 48 caps of nos, in candlelight, alone in his house, doors closed, silence apart from the music, and decided he was going to explore the planes. This was the first of two times SWIM has got the furthest he's ever been with NOS, he managed to progress through all the planes in order, and reach the last one. The last plane consisted of a blinding white light that shot out from some point millions of miles away, with a defeaning sound, and shot through SWIM's mind, body and soul, whatever you think about dualism and mind/body distinction, this thing shot through EVERYTHING.

SWIM decided (quite predictably, in retrospect), that the last plane was god, but he believed it, and he wasn't prepared to shy away from his faith just because it was clichéd. In trips since then, SWIM has pondered the fact that each plane, when SWIM is in it, constitutes the entire universe, and nothing exists outside of that, and it is the best thing imaginable, and yet, as soon as he's moved off to the next one, that one seems all-important, and the one you were just in seems petty and pointless.

SWIM from this, along with his experiences with DXM, Ketamine and HBWR seeds, decided that the white light was God, but also, all the planes were God aswell.

In a recent Philosophy lecture SWIM attended, the lecturer was listing "criticsms of Descartes' proofs of the existence of God". One of the criticisms was "If God is supreme and perfect exists perfectly, he must be perfect in every way it is possible to be perfect, how can he be perfectly contradictory? For example, a pefect knife is sharp, and a perfect pillow is soft, how can God be both sharp and soft?".

SWIM has discovered how he can be perfectly contradictory; each new plane SWIM enters is mind-expanding, beautiful, and the most important thing in existence ever, independent of time and space. But it's not because of the plane's innate qualities, it's because of SWIM's interpretation of those qualities, and SWIM can only fully interpret the plane when he's in it, and his mind simply cannot comprehend it if he's not right there at that exact moment, that's why he's always convinced that the plane he's in NOW is better than the last. That's why SWIM is always surprised by how good nos is, because when he's in the everyday sober world, his mind can't grasp what he feels on nos.

SWIM has concluded that God is perfect because he is Everything. It's something he's heard a million times, but he never understood it like he does now, everything he sees is God, everything has a different feel and a different aesthetic to it, and everything has it's own meaning and it's own purpose, and that's how God can be perfect, infinite, and infinitely perfect.

SWIMs problem is that an Evil clown has now appeared in SWIMs trips with the sole purpose of stopping SWIM remembering, the path of his trips

The clown grabs thoughts that SWIM is trying desperately to hold on to and plucks them from swims mind in unusual and interesting fashions. most recently throwing his tongue (like a fly eating lizard might) at the thought, catching it then moving away backwards pulling the thought from SWIMs mind as SWIM held on the clowns head spun slowly putting 2 twists into SWIMs now distended thought (SWIM actually felt his thought being pulled, stretched and twisted, that was most odd) at this SWIM knows he let go and the thought sprang to the clown as if on elastic.

SWIM has got something like this, but the thing that knocked SWIM's thoughts out of his mind (it also seemed to be controlling them to quite a large extent sometimes), was a huge echo, like an earthquake miles away, and a ripple through space and sound and earth and air and everything, and it shook SWIM till his thoughts rearranged how it meant them to.

Wasn't nearly as trippy as that thgouht-bending thing sounds tho.

[El Calico Loco]

My friend Swim has found that he always returns to the same place. The path there is sometimes different, but he always winds up at The Source.

He says it's difficult to describe in words, but he tried: he said it's like six rivers of energy flowing down a dark tunnel toward a point infinitely far away, and you're headed to this point. The white light at the end becomes brighter and brighter.

He has never made it all the way to the light with N2O alone, however. He has with a combination of N2O and 5-MeO-DMT, and also with DXM, Cannabis, and N2O.


ECL