Injecting - thoughts on ex-heroin IV user moving to IV cocaine

[suninmy_MOUTH]

SWIM might have made a big mistake lately. SWIM almost forgot that back when he was an H addict... part of what he loved was the whole process leading up to the shot. Probably influenced by films like Trainspotting and Pulp Fiction (funny how most who saw those flicks were then repulsed by heroin... but they just romaticized the wanting to try it for SWIM and his friends) but one of SWIM favorite things was to see the thick, dark, slow-moving blood tumble back into the plunger. Even when SWIM ran out of money or sources were dry, he might just cook up some water just to see it. Seem to relieve the withrdrawal symptoms for a little bit too.

The thing for someone like this, who not only was not afraid needles, like a lot of people are, he fetished them. However, with heroin, no matter how big SWIMs habit was, he could take that shot, and be good for at least 6 hours... but usually 12, and sometimes 24.

SWIM cleaned up about 6 years ago, basically from everything except drinking once and while. SWIM has mentioned his story in full elsewhere, but IV'ing coke... with the possibity of shooting up 20x in matter of hours... not good. SWIM might really be after the process that he loved as a heroin addict, well, he knows its true, b/c he wasn't thinking about the craving for coke the next day after IV'ing coke for the first time, he thoughts were of that blood drippiing back into the tube. Whenever that image pops into SWIMs mind... he just wants to do it so badly. The only upside to the whole thing was that SWIM felt pretty good the next day after doing his inital shots. Much better than doing a lot of lines, and certainly better than how heroin can totally, how to say it.... once you are on it, you are on it all the time.. until you get through wtihdrawl. SWIM felt normal in the head the next day and even got some good work done.

Yet with quicker recovery, comes the readiness to buy some more and do it all over again. Good thing there is a holiday tomorrow, as SWIM loaded up again. Just 1 gram. Knowing that he will do it all, and since the contact is not gonna deliver 2x in one day. 1 gram and that will be that. SWIM is just going to have to take a step back... like he did with H, and make an honest effort to quit. Obviously, heroin mainliners will find no solace switching to cocaine.

Oh well, at least nothing too bad happened... as they say, most addicts can't stop till they hit rock-bottom. But being an ex-addict, SWIM knows that might not be too far off... wish SWIM well to stay strong.

[Nicaine]

Stay strong... if IV'ing becomes too much of a temptation for SWIY, he should cook up some rocks & smoke instead. It's definitely better than the needle. But better yet, quit. If he's gonna do it though, that means no coke... don't even snort.

[Alicia]

Swia found injection of cocaine to be really nice but incredibly short lived experience alas also very easy to overdose on as-well due to purity vearie considerably from one batch to another. Swia herself felt extremely com-pulsed to do another syringe-ful right after more so then heroin be careful.

[monkeygone2heaven]

it's a well-established scientific finding that (even without swiy's possible specific fetish about the whole thing), the whole experience/context, is part of the drug addiction and drug-taking experience. the "rituals" become coupled in the brain with the drug and over time they becme inseparable. like even mice prefer the colors or objects they associate with cocaine or morphine administration and they can tirgger cravings. and swiy might have complicating factors on top like an attraction to injecting in the first place.

swim thinks a realization is important. what does swiy want? it's beyond awesome swiy has been clean of h for so long. so swiy knows they can do pretty much anything at this point. if the act of injection is too compelling and swiy wants to stay clean off drugs, maybe swiy can stay off injecting - willpower and all, maybe getting help. also important to realise these "cues" can trick us closer to the drugs insidiously. swim is not being holier-than-thou, just saying swiy can be more aware and have a choice. given the investment it takes to stay off h, as swiy mentioned, it's probably worth staying there.