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Old 29-09-2006, 05:44
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Nicaine Nicaine is offline
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Should SWIM quit stimulants?

I know, I know... something only he can really answer. SWIM just finished a 24-hour run/roll with one substance (when he really should have not done it at all & slept, he was already sleep deprived and had just got done sitting on a plane all day)... he slept about 8 hours last night, then today used some of the methylone he ordered instead of waiting a few days like he was gonna... actually, he used a lot more of it than he had intended, and in fact he may not stop until it's gone! (500mg of the stuff).

This is the story of SWIM's life -- he has little to no willpower/control over anything stronger than caffeine, and typically keeps going until (A) the substance runs out and he has no access to more, or (B) he's so exhausted that all it's doing is keeping him awake, if even that. He has an important doctor's appt. tomorrow, and has no clue how he's gonna get there if sleep deprivation and/or physical exhaustion are factors.

Should SWIM quit stimulants? He's always managed to have a worthwhile life without drugs (i.e. between binges), albeit with some pretty serious social and financial issues, as well as MUCH less excitement and a tendency to become morbidly unmotivated and stuck in a 'comfort zone' to the point of psychological catatonia.

SWIM's afraid he may kill himself, or at least damage his health... money's really not an issue, although he *says* he'd rather spend it on stuff that lasts longer. And he would, actually. Except he usually doesn't.

SWIM thinks he should quit, but is definitely ambivalent and really doesn't plan to... so maybe this thread is in the right place, as the core of "addiction" is ambivalence. Comments, questions, suggestions or whatever are all more than welcome.
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