I never stop....(cocaine usage)

[jeper]

After 7 weeks of resisting the craving SWIM finally gave in and did it again...twice. on friday and sunday. For weeks SWIM managed to beat the feeling, and minimize his social life, just to avoid the craving. It was a lonely and anxious period but.. last weekend SWIM was tired the fighting and the nervousness that comes with it and SWIM planned to use again. What scares him is that he didnt have had a drink that triggered the craving. Also even though SWIM realised the unavoidable crash, the guilt of using again and feeling miserable afterwards SWIM planned to use for the night. And sunday again. The result: SWIM feels really, really bad now, even suicidal. More depressed than ever. He called in sick monday for work. SWIM doesnt thimk he can work tomorrow also. He sleeps half the days and the other half hes hating himself.

Damn the coke, damn me.

[MrJim]

Kicking it is normally a long process. We as people tend to think that one slip up and all the work we put into quitting is over, but by thinking like that we set ourselves up for defeat. Quitting often entails a pitfall or two, but it is how you handle them that makes the quitting work. Admitting you did something that you are trying not to do will make the next craving more bearable. When you have cravings try to remember all the shitty episodes and the reason you want to quit. The pitfalls will be shorter and further between as long as you don't give up your resolve. It takes time to beat something. Hang in there and try not to be too hard on yourself.

[Forthesevenlakes]

Many people have to try many times to give something up. But as MrJim says, there's a couple ways to go about this. One is believing that you've failed, and to be hard on yourself and relapse. The other is to look at this as a temporary setback. This latter way is probably the healthier way to look at it. That it's not the end of the quitting process, but rather a step on the road to recovery. Just try to take into account the factors that made you use this time, so that you can avoid them for the future.

[KomodoMK]

I can understand minimizing your social life to avoid the craving, but with this also comes the boredom factor, which can also lead to the same thing. In future when you get that craving, just remember this little relapse you have had, and how you was feeling after, this may give you that little bit of extra will power to deal with it. On the boredom front, you should try find something to do to take your mind off things, which I know is easier said than done.

Good luck!

[Nicaine]

jeper,

SWIY probably did it the wrong way... in SWIM's opinion, cravings should be faced as soon as possible. Immediately, even. Coke cravings are similar to nicotine and have to be "deconditioned" -- the brain learns to associate a lot of things with the drug, and these associations are the direct cause of cravings once brain chemistry has returned to normal. SWIY should try to get out and do as much as possible in the usual situations, except *not* using coke of course. If this is completely impossible, maybe he's just not sick & tired of it enough yet.

But has SWIY tried? Other than hanging with dealers, he should try doing the exact same things as before, except without the cola. No more lonely/anxious periods, just temptation/cravings that have to be overcome via *learned* processes.

P.S. another option that SWIM has recommended before is to travel someplace where there's no access to cola and SWIY can stay for at least a couple weeks, preferably a month or more. Then try the above after returning home. Probably not an option open to most, however. SWIM has broken quite a few binges in the past using the 'geographical method'... it's not a permanent solution, but a decent kick-start if one is serious about quitting and knows someone who lives out in the sticks.

[fletch]

definatly nicaine has a valid point, if the cravings are too strong to bear, remove yourself from situations that cola is easily accessible, swim kicked the habit for about 2 and 1/2 months, yet was around cola every single day of that time period but had motives that drove him not to do it. however swim has recently dipped back and swims habit was never recreational, its daily, however swim knws that when the desire to quit is strong enough it can be done, because right now using is something that swim wants to be doing and swim knws that when he doesnt want to do it anymore he simply wont, its all about how badly you want to not do it, because if ther is an skepticism in your head its gonna result in dabbling once again.

[ai]

SwIM kinda in the same boat.. been using crack for about 6 months now off an on.. have been trying to honestly quit for about 2... i've had 3 repaspes.. Swim's problem is somewhat difficult.. it's where SWIM live. and there isn't much swim's can do about it right now. swim's have to lock myself in the house or else swim will be

with that said, even with the relaspes, swim is learning from each one. swim know swim has to keep myself busy. swim have to keep happy thoughts. Read the book called "the secret". swim go to a rehab class... swim had to stop because all the rehab class was doing is making me think about it. swim works alot so when swim is not at rehab very little does using cross swim's mind... but going to the classes... when you think about something, your mind doesn't know the difference between good and bad.. you are attracting it to your life.

the longest I went was about a month...drink alot of water, eat healthy, set goals, work to acheive thoose goals.. they are all things that wll keep you away

[realitybias]

Look up a drug called modafinil, provigil, etc.

They all are cool in that it blunts the effects of cocaine, including its addictive properties.

SWIM recommends staying on a large dose for at least two weeks. SWIM found it on an online pharmacy, but it is readily available on the interwebs.

Reputation Comments on this post:

made the same experience

[nousernamesleft1234]

been a while since i posted in this thread, swim is doing better not off but has limited use to probably 2 or 3 days a month. had been clean and swim got a bunch of aderol was helping as a crutch a month or two ago, was supposed to take it to get work done and snort a little bit for a boost but had bought 4 30mg non-time-release and snorted all four in 12 hours, bumpity bump of chest insued luckily swim has script for ativan (lorazipam) and calmed down but comming down scared himself silly and saw the light, went totally clean for month then over turkey break swims friend at home (as swim goes to college 2 hours from home) bought an 8 ball. Swim took offered few lines and friend was "nice" enough to give swim a free gram so swim went back. Got some again week later (tonight) with plan to do one G and sell other 2.5 gs and not stay up all night, will be a test of will power. If cant stop at pre desired limit them swim knows its all or nothing but swim has high hopes he can control. will let u know how it goes....

[thealmassi1]

SWIY should go to rehab dude, just don't go cold turkey, kick it for good at rehab, it's easier there because other ppl are going through similar addictions and SWIY'll be able to have a social life without being tempted to contine snorting.
And seeing SWIY has enough money for coke, he should be able to afford it.

[Fight Club]

SWIY is not going to be able to quit using cocaine when he/she is still selling cocaine. It's hard enough to get clean when you live in an environment free of temptation.

You need to be willing to accept major changes in your life and lifestyle. Stay away from people, places, and things that fuel your cravings. That means new friends, new job, maybe even a new geographic location.

Ever been to an AA / NA meeting? Even if you don't believe in God, powerlessness, 12-steps, etc., it is a good place to meet some sober people you can hang with.

Above all, however, stop buying and selling coke.

FC

[JaWill88]

it could be good to stay away from people, places, and things associated with drug use at the beginning of sobriety, but later its probably for the best to learn to deal with these things and not have to use because of them. its dealing with life. otherwise swiy is going to have to end up going to a 12 step meeting everyday to deal with it. and thats a whole other addiction/problem in itself.

[jmakin]

Gambling is a major part of my income, and one hard truth about playing poker more than recreationally is there are alot of swings. You get up 100 bucks in 1 day, you lose 80 the next. sometimes it's more drastic, sometimes less. 3 steps forward, 2 steps back kind of a deal. As long as the OVERALL, LONG TERM direction that you are heading is positive, do NOT worry about a slipup. Yes, you should feel guilty, it is the guilt that will prevent you from going back into old habits again, but do not let it overwhelm you! Keep your mindset heading in a positive direction, I guarantee you you will see some results.

[chemlove]

Originally Posted by jmakin

Gambling is a major part of my income, and one hard truth about playing poker more than recreationally is there are alot of swings. You get up 100 bucks in 1 day, you lose 80 the next. sometimes it's more drastic, sometimes less. 3 steps forward, 2 steps back kind of a deal. As long as the OVERALL, LONG TERM direction that you are heading is positive, do NOT worry about a slipup. Yes, you should feel guilty, it is the guilt that will prevent you from going back into old habits again, but do not let it overwhelm you! Keep your mindset heading in a positive direction, I guarantee you you will see some results.

This is a great analogy. I don't want people to think that I'm making fun of addiction. But the fact that in poker its a game of highs and lows is much like addiction, heck most players especially the really good ones that know they could win may have and probably do have an addiction. I agree that addiction is filled with hills and valleys and sometimes its really tough. I hope that everything goes well for you (in the long road) because its not where you start or how quickly you from A to B, but rather how quickly you get from A to Z.

[Fight Club]

There's an old saying "relapse is part of recovery . . . but it doesn't have to be". For NIK it has been. He has an impressive collection of 30 day, 2, 3, and 6 month coins and key fobs accumulated over the past 2 years. Each time NIK has a slip, however, he tries to learn from what happened, and gain understanding; understanding that will help him get to the next level of recovery without a slip.

Don't beat yourself up, and don't throw in the towel. It's alot easier to stop using cocaine than it is to stay stopped. Even if you slip now and again, you are still better off than you would be with an extended binge or daily use.

Work towards being cocaine-free. It's not the end of the world if you slip. What does happen, however, is that it tends to reset the clock in terms of craving, depression, anxiety, etc. All of those things will improve with clean time.

FC

[chemlove]

recovery isn't a sprint and won't be over soon. Its something that personality wise you'll have to deal with for the rest of your life. With hard work you can get over the physical withdraw. The other issue though, is that mentally that addiction could be there forever. Addiction is probably not the best word, you could say the temptation is what will always be there. If you continue to hang around people who use this or other drugs, it may be really hard if not impossible to quit. In my friend SWIM's experiences he couldn't quit certain drugs until he just left people behind and made himself the most important person in his life, even dumping a serious girlfriend because his being sober was (at the time) far more important.