Sociable Addiction

[KomodoMK]

This article was posted by a "friend" over at our internal forums and as such does NOT use SWIM. However, I thought it was an interesting read and so I post it here. This article is in no way related to myself.

Mods: I post this with the best intentions, please remove if you feel nessecary.

I'll try keep this brief as possible without in depth detail, this is a follow on from a conversation I had with Bard earlier this week. This is aimed at Bard.

A few years back, I said no, I did not and would not touch drugs in any form with the exception of alcohol. However, I have always been a curios person, and seeing the people around me in the pub and down the field using cocaine for months eventually got the better of my curiosity.

I tried cocaine for the first time with a couple of friends and my sister, it wasn't what I was expecting, and never has been to this day. However, I continued to use at weekends with a couple of friends in the pubs. One day the idea came up from a girl friend of mine to try E, so a group of us got some and we partied, this was more like the buzz I was looking for.

After this day I tried quite a few substances, I quit the cocaine because I had enough of it, and replaced it with speed. The only things at this point I would ever refuse to touch was crack and heroin.

So at this point, every week for over a year I had been taking different substances, sometimes a combination of. I made friends with K at work, we both got our groups of friends to join up and go out and eventually I started partying with them back at his house. This was all fine for a long time, cocaine, ecstasy and alcohol and a great group of mates.

I found out that K used to have a crack problem, and that he was back on it, but he seemed ok, just doing it every now and then. One day I was with him when he got some, my curiosity got me once again, so I thought fuck it, I'll try it and did.

(The point here bard, is I'm now doing the one thing which I said I wouldn't, and is the exact same thing you are saying to me.)

I did it on a few occasions, but then stopped because I realised the road I was going down. I have always been lucky in the sense that I am strong minded and don't have an addictive personality.

About 6 months on, I have pretty much stopped taking things all the time. MDMA stopped having that magic effect, my health suffered and I started noticing short term memory loss. However, not a day goes by where I don't think about getting a buzz going. The reason for this? Read on.

Going out with your mates and having a laugh is fun, going out with your mates and having a laugh while buzzing of your tits is just fucking fantastic.

The result of this? I am addicted to the social side of recreational drugs use. At this point in my life, there is not one substance I won't try, however, the sensible side of me says no, and so until the time is right, I won't try some of the things I would like to.

Currently I only use a little of whatever substance at a time and leave gaps in between, and I have seen a benefit in this. Not only can some of the magic come back, you health improves.

The only problem I am left to overcome now, is when drinking at pub and someone mentions or gets some coke, the thought of a line after a few pints is way to tempting and not being in that sensible state of mind often over powers my better judgement.

Do I regret taking this path in my life? Yes and no. I have seen a lot of bad things happen, people lose everything but I have also seen many good things come from this. Sometime I think I would have been better off without this part of my life. However, the one thing that benefitted me in a huge way, and shaped the person I am today, is MDMA (Ecstasy), and I will never regret anything related to my use of E aside from the fact I done it too often.

So there you have it, I am a social addict.

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FAO: Bard

I have said everything you said to me years back, about trusting myself, not taking things to far and not getting addicted.

However, curiosity got the better of me, and whilst I escaped the addiction to substances due to my strong mind and sensibility, I did not escape the addiction to being sociable, and that is just as powerful.

I know you won't listen to my advice, just as I diddn't listen when I was told when I was younger, but by pointing out these things I hope in the very least it aids you in your trip down this path.

Drugs are never a smooth ride.

[stoneinfocus]

Strange, how every great fun-thing is to a point tainted with doubt.
Belive me, the bads of the use aren´t that bad, with this strong of a charachter bard seems to posssess.

Being chronically ill and having tasted mistreatment of his family and sourrounding and even then, as a victim, beig criminalized without reason he´s become a hedonistic bastard only feeling sorry for not doing things when he´s feeling like doing it, that´s the only sin he´s trying to defeat.

When you came out of hell you know that every life´s got to end and that good things are there to enjoy.

Of course we´re all socially addicted, to a person, a family, a lifestyle -what´s wrong with that? Nothing! Enjoy your life, that´s all!

[Psych0naut]

This sounds scary familiar to SWIM, he is the exact same and can ralate SWIY's "social addiction" to his.
In SWIMs past he used to go out every weekend, always taking drugs, and feeling more misserable every sunday.
SWIM finally realised what he was doing, he couldn't go out sober because when SWIM was sober, he didn't dare to dance, or aproach anyone, let alone get close with girls.
He couldn't resist drugs when SWIMs friend proposed to do them, they didn't try to pursuade SWIM, rather the opposite, but once SWIM had the idea of doing it he was going to do it.
SWIM finally realised what he was doing, and quited going out, and practically quit taking drugs for a while.
He started to do excercise, and also quit smoking, the excersice has done much good for SWIM, he has much better stamina and feels healthier, though quiting smoking is a bitch and proves to very hard.
Now SWIM has much more control and only does drugs once in a while, except for the ones that aren't physically doing any damage(most psychedelics)

[KomodoMK]

Must have been hard for SWIY to stop going out with your friends? SWIM finds that boredom is the only thing that can bring a fairy strong craving to social and recreational drug use. I think boredom could play a big part in most addictions.

You did the right thing though phych0naut, hope you can keep it up.

[Psych0naut]

It's hard for SWIM, he misses alot of social contact because he knows he can't do most of the things he used to do because it would be to tempting to drugs again in those situations.
Holiday is over for SWIM, and has things that keep him busy, but long holidays tend to get boring after a while, and that creates situations where it's very tempting to take something that takes the boredom away.