Sociable Addiction

[KomodoMK]

This article was posted by a "friend" over at our internal forums and as such does NOT use SWIM. However, I thought it was an interesting read and so I post it here. This article is in no way related to myself.

Mods: I post this with the best intentions, please remove if you feel nessecary.

I'll try keep this brief as possible without in depth detail, this is a follow on from a conversation I had with Bard earlier this week. This is aimed at Bard.

A few years back, I said no, I did not and would not touch drugs in any form with the exception of alcohol. However, I have always been a curios person, and seeing the people around me in the pub and down the field using cocaine for months eventually got the better of my curiosity.

I tried cocaine for the first time with a couple of friends and my sister, it wasn't what I was expecting, and never has been to this day. However, I continued to use at weekends with a couple of friends in the pubs. One day the idea came up from a girl friend of mine to try E, so a group of us got some and we partied, this was more like the buzz I was looking for.

After this day I tried quite a few substances, I quit the cocaine because I had enough of it, and replaced it with speed. The only things at this point I would ever refuse to touch was crack and heroin.

So at this point, every week for over a year I had been taking different substances, sometimes a combination of. I made friends with K at work, we both got our groups of friends to join up and go out and eventually I started partying with them back at his house. This was all fine for a long time, cocaine, ecstasy and alcohol and a great group of mates.

I found out that K used to have a crack problem, and that he was back on it, but he seemed ok, just doing it every now and then. One day I was with him when he got some, my curiosity got me once again, so I thought fuck it, I'll try it and did.

(The point here bard, is I'm now doing the one thing which I said I wouldn't, and is the exact same thing you are saying to me.)

I did it on a few occasions, but then stopped because I realised the road I was going down. I have always been lucky in the sense that I am strong minded and don't have an addictive personality.

About 6 months on, I have pretty much stopped taking things all the time. MDMA stopped having that magic effect, my health suffered and I started noticing short term memory loss. However, not a day goes by where I don't think about getting a buzz going. The reason for this? Read on.

Going out with your mates and having a laugh is fun, going out with your mates and having a laugh while buzzing of your tits is just fucking fantastic.

The result of this? I am addicted to the social side of recreational drugs use. At this point in my life, there is not one substance I won't try, however, the sensible side of me says no, and so until the time is right, I won't try some of the things I would like to.

Currently I only use a little of whatever substance at a time and leave gaps in between, and I have seen a benefit in this. Not only can some of the magic come back, you health improves.

The only problem I am left to overcome now, is when drinking at pub and someone mentions or gets some coke, the thought of a line after a few pints is way to tempting and not being in that sensible state of mind often over powers my better judgement.

Do I regret taking this path in my life? Yes and no. I have seen a lot of bad things happen, people lose everything but I have also seen many good things come from this. Sometime I think I would have been better off without this part of my life. However, the one thing that benefitted me in a huge way, and shaped the person I am today, is MDMA (Ecstasy), and I will never regret anything related to my use of E aside from the fact I done it too often.

So there you have it, I am a social addict.

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FAO: Bard

I have said everything you said to me years back, about trusting myself, not taking things to far and not getting addicted.

However, curiosity got the better of me, and whilst I escaped the addiction to substances due to my strong mind and sensibility, I did not escape the addiction to being sociable, and that is just as powerful.

I know you won't listen to my advice, just as I diddn't listen when I was told when I was younger, but by pointing out these things I hope in the very least it aids you in your trip down this path.

Drugs are never a smooth ride.