I am going to write a totally fictional story in 'first person perspective', this is to say that when i reference to 'I' 'me' or 'myself' it is refering to the fictional character I am writing about and NOT myself.
Hey all, ever since a young age I've always been interested in drugs, not trying them but reading and learning about them, their effects good and bad.
I don't touch any drugs and have only tried weed in the past, the reason for the abstinence is that I suffered panic attacks triggered by experimenal use of cannibis years ago (basicly every time i smoked I had a panic attack) I have since had to live with an illness called panic disorder, which was not caused by cannibas but perhaps triggered by it. If not cannibis I am sure something else would of bought it out in the future. I have mangaged and have been able to live with this and have never had a panic attack that wasn't triggered by weed. But I have had to live with anxiety and fear of a panic attack, which often is worse than a panic attack itself. So why am I on this forum? I visit this forum to offer advice and help to those I can by what I have researched and learn't about substances and chemicals, as I am so intrigued by drugs but cannot delve myself I am driven by curiosity to which there seems no end!
I have made changes in my life and now go through life exceedingly well and basicly anxiety free.
However because of my fragile mindset I could never trust myself enough to try such potent drugs like LSD, shrooms or salvia. I just cannot handle anxiety that well outside of daily living. And know if I was to try any other drug I could easily interpret the different feelings and other come-up effects as something bad this would then in turn lead on to more anxiety which would then put me in the wrong mindset from the off then things get a little worse because of this mindset and so on and so on. When this happens on psychedelics, for me, it would be downhill rapidly from there.
But if I was to ever dabble with drugs then psychedelics are the substances I would love to try. I envy the psychonauts of this forum. I eagerly read their reports of being under the influence and letting go into other worlds (salvia especially) and exploring their pysche and inner workings of their brain.
I am in tune with myself and my pysche as far as I can be. And feel that I am at the state where psychedelics would be the next step and could truley lead me on a journey of my inner self, not because I don't know who I am but because I am confident with who I am enough that I would love to explore my mind and let go to truly appreciate what a wonderful place the pysche of the mind is how it's connected with us, our beings, and our conciousness and so on.
I read experiences here and from other great sources about trips to other places totally indescribable (Ketamine for example) floating between the void of reality and un-reality, between concious and un-concious. And I can only imagine where my mind would take me, or where I would take my mind.
To all the psychonauts out there, definately appreciate the journeys and experiences you can live. As for someone like myself it's just a mere dream.
I kinda know how you feel. I have very mild anxiety problems. I have learned to cope and tell myself it doesnt matter. of course i know just telling yourself it doesnt matter wont solve anything but i can see where your coming from. my major anxiety comes from my deep fear of going insane. the drug community needs more ppl like you: abstinent drug-free ppl who are not anti-drug. we need more ppl that understand why ppl do drugs and can accept it wihout thinking its there mission to "save" drug users from themselves. thank you
swim is not saying swiy should try drugs at all.....
but has swiy ever considered taking a threshold dose of mdma ? as it makes the user so at ease it would be difficult to get a panic attack. understandable that swiy wants to avoid lsd,mushrooms,salvia for now....swim respects swiys responsible decision. but swim was thinking if he himself was a person who could get a panic attack what would be a drug he would be the most comfortable with trying using his experience of having experimanted with certain substances and the two he thought of were threshold doses of mdma or mescaline but sided with mdma for a first timer.swim is in no way advocating swiy trys mdma, swims mental health is more important than taking drugs....swim just wants to know what swiys thoughts are on a very very mild dose of mdma.
swim is not saying swiy should try drugs at all.....
but has swiy ever considered taking a threshold dose of mdma ? as it makes the user so at ease it would be difficult to get a panic attack. understandable that swiy wants to avoid lsd,mushrooms,salvia for now....swim respects swiys responsible decision. but swim was thinking if he himself was a person who could get a panic attack what would be a drug he would be the most comfortable with trying using his experience of having experimanted with certain substances and the two he thought of were threshold doses of mdma or mescaline but sided with mdma for a first timer.swim is in no way advocating swiy trys mdma, swims mental health is more important than taking drugs....swim just wants to know what swiys thoughts are on a very very mild dose of mdma.
On the contrary It did indeed intrigue someone I knew, I posted their thoughts/feelings here about it.
21-09-2006, 14:45
Hybrid Mode
