SWIM’s first experience with NOS, or any dissociative for that matter, was about 2 years ago. SWIM had been out clubbing with friends all night with the assistance of meth. SWIM and his friends were all invited to have a ‘recovery’ at a friend’s apartment. These ‘recovery’s were in fact a place to go to hang out and take more drugs in the company of others, which was fine with him.
Arriving at 3rd floor apartment, the 4 of them went inside. They put on some nice dance music, opened the doors to the balcony and proceeded to make themselves comfortable. A couple of E’s were consumed by the group over the next few hours. During this time many tired clubbers visited the apartment to rest and chat before moving on. Some people he knew, some he didn’t and even some drag queens made their way through which provided SWIM with plenty of people to converse with at high speed. SWIM has no recollection of who most of them were because as he was, at times, far too high in his own little world, despite them staying for nearly an hour!
Eventually the host of the party produced a refillable whipped cream can and a box of Nitrous Oxide canisters much to the delight of many in the group. The group all sat on sofas in a semi circle with a bean bag in the centre. The host started them off and sat on the bean bag. He loaded a few canisters into the chamber and then inhaled as much as he could. He held it in until he went into a trance like state when he exhaled. The trance lasted for about 30 seconds and he emerged smiling and laughing. Two more friends had their turn before it was SWIM’s turn.
By this time the friends were all laughing hysterically and SWIM then knew how the gas got its nickname.
SWIM sat on the bean bag and grasped the canister. He accidentally pulled the trigger too quickly the first time and the gas escaped from SWIM’s mouth. On the second try he filled his lungs up and held it in. The room started to warp and sounds started altering and echoing, so SWIM breathed out. This was too soon though and everything returned to normal after 10 seconds. SWIM’s friends told him to empty his lungs better next time and not to be afraid to hold it in longer because you will just exhale when you go into a dream, but he would have to wait until his turn because they were all eager for another go.
On SWIM’s next turn he expelled all the air from his lungs properly and inhaled more gas this time. SWIM heard the pitch of the sounds in the room raise suddenly like something out of a cartoon and the room started warping again. His friend’s voices went into an endless echo that seemed to get slower and slower. Everything went blurry till he couldn’t see and then he felt like he left his body and was floating. SWIM was having his first out of body experience, this was so exciting. It began to get strange though, SWIM forgot that he was human and was just a consciousness floating through the universe with occasional swirls of colours. SWIM began to feel quite scared that he might never get back to wherever it was he came from, yet at the same time blown away by the experience.
After what felt like several hours of floating around with nothing but his own thoughts he started to return to his body. He awoke to find his friends grinning at him and asking whether he enjoyed it, but all SWIM could do was smile at them until the ability to form words came back to him. His friends told him he’d only been gone for 30 seconds like everyone else.
The night continued with the friends playing tricks on one another during their dream like turning off the lights so that they didn’t know where they were when they awoke, putting coloured sunglasses on them and changing the music or everyone putting on masks.
SWIM has mixed feelings about his trip. He appreciated the feeling of being disconnected from his body but couldn’t shake the fear of never returning. The paranoia caused by being up all night on meth may have affected the trip. SWIM was also very frightened that he might suffocate and would appreciate advice on whether the danger of that is real. He has also now learned that using a balloon may be safer if there is a next time.
SWIM has not used another dissociative since then but would like to try using a dissociative again one day (one of SWIM’s friends is very fond of Ketamine and recommends it) but he needs to try to stay calm when doing so.
Hopefully you enjoyed reading this report and SWIM would appreciate any thoughts you might have.
03-09-2006, 16:42
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