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My boyfriend is addicted to meth and porn. Do these things usually go hand in hand? Now I know guys watch porn, that's normal, even I like porn sometimes. But he watches it every single night and stays in the bathroom for hours. This normally wouldn't bother me so much except he watches it more than we have sex. If I got the same attention, perhaps it wouldn't irk me as much. I don't know. Thoughts?
Maybe you should share these sentiments with him? If he is in the dark about your feelings regarding the amount of time he spends wanking, this will only become more threatening to your relationship over time. Perhaps confronting him about this in a seductive manner will yield positive results?
And to answer your first question, yes these two activities go rather well together. It's a shock that dealers don't hand out complimentary bottles of lube along side their bags of meth.
Why don't you have some self-respect and ditch him? You think that staying with someone who is addicted to meth and hides in the bathroom all night is gonna work out good for you in the long run? What does any of that have to do with him caring about you?
Do you have low self-esteem? Why would you put up with that?
I don't know how it'll work out, but I'm optimistic. We've been together a lil over two yrs, he's a great guy, we have a child, who are you to judge him? He's been doing meth for about 9 months. He still sleeps at night, eats all his meals, and goes to work 6 days a week, 10 hrs a day. He's thoughtful, he's faithful, he's kind, he's smart. We all have our issues, no ones perfect, and so you sit on your pedastool and say I have low self esteem? No my dear, I have integrity, and I will not let meth or porn steal away the man I love and the father of my child...
I came looking for advice, testimonials, because not being a drug user myself, I'm unaware of all its side affects. However I have found this forum to be educational and helpful in giving me users views.
Last edited by Micklemouse; 08-05-2013 at 02:38.
Reason: Flaming removed
he knows how I feel about his excessive amount of time spent with porn while our beds cold. It's getting old.
Then you need to tell him that. Meth makes you very horny and my only thought is that he feels like doing these sexual acts without you because you are not under the influence of the drug as well. This might be something you can ask him about. As you likely know, meth use is identifiable by the users behavior. There may be a bit of guilt on his part for using a drug like meth and his seclusion is his way of dealing with that guilt.
I think you need to discuss it with him and explain how it makes you feel. I strongly suspect he does not see the connection between his self pleasuring and your emotional exclusion but he does sound like he could take it onboard if pointed out.
You are sure that is what he is doing in the bathroom? And not consuming more drugs? Just a thought. I hope you get sorted
Wow who peed in your cheerios?
I don't know how it'll work out, but I'm optimistic. We've been together a lil over two yrs, he's a great guy, we have a child, who are you to judge him? No my dear, I have integrity, and I will not let meth or porn steal away the man I love and the father of my child...
I came looking for advice, testimonials, because not being a drug user myself, I'm unaware of all its side affects. However I have found this forum to be educational and helpful in giving me users views. With the exception of a few cunt-for-brains putting in their unhelpful assumptions.
I didn't make any assumptions, I asked a bunch of questions. I didn't judge anyone or make a single assumption.
How do drugs and porn 'steal' your man? He is the one who chooses that behavior.
So you only want user views that make everything easy? Do meth and have sex with him. (Ed. Note- this is obviously sarcasm) It's probably the most likely thing that will happen, or he will lose himself to drugs over time.
Integrity would mean standing up for the fact that you aren't down with that behavior, and then maybe he would change. You're closer to a classic enabler, overlooking things you don't like in order to keep your family together.
You actually can't call people cunt-for-brains on here, and I would never eat cheerios because they are garbage, mostly sugar. I don't put that in my body.
To the OP, yes, as a huge (no pun intended), and as said by hooked, methamphetamine and being horny or sex/porn does go very well together. Now, not everyone enjoys sex while high on methamphetamine. My ex-fiance would hardly ever want to have sex when she was tweeking (slang for methamphetamine) and I would be ready and willing to give her a shot over masturbating. However, I noticed that if for whatever reason she would not have sex with me, I started masturbating and watching porn more. Hooked gave some great advice, and basically he is right (and in his own insulting way, so is Willyz) you should address this problem. I can buy that your husband is worth you going to bat for, but if you don't address this problem then he can turn into a person that is not any longer worth going to bat for. Laying down your feelings while using your head on how you do it (remember, it's not what you say but how you say it) is something that must be done. Hookeds advice of discussing it while being seductive is a great freaking idea. He will be more into listening to you because he is having a VERY loving wife going about it all in a great way........but, make sure if you follow this great advice that especially (might be better) if he is spun (high on methamphetamine), and I apologize for the language, you make sure you screw him so good that he would never want to use his hand. This is NOT an insult and suggesting you do not please him anyways at whatever time. You said you would fight for him, well, you go above and beyond so that you treat it as him getting sex from another woman and you showing why he would choose sex with you. Give it all an extra ten minutes if you get my drift.............in short make this man think "I can't see getting off without this woman"...then when you are done, get up, do your thing and before getting something to eat or go to the shower just look at him (you know.....then LOOK) and say "your welcome". *SHAKES HEAD YES*..and good luck.
Last edited by trdofbeingtrd; 15-04-2013 at 00:16.
Reason: Took out what is better in private message.
What i dont understand, is how the porn is the problem here. If he is addicted to meth and stays in the bathroom all night, then he needs help. Your post suggests that you dont mind the meth so much as the inattention from your bf. i will tell you that you need to talk to him about the meth. Dont bring up the porn. That only needs to be addressed if it remains a problem after he gets off the meth.
Meth and porn go hand in hand. I used to watch hours of porn when I smoked the shit. Now that I inject I am chasing my rush and enjoying the needle instead. Meth fuels any desires you have and that is why it lasts for numerous hours. Whatever you enjoy will be doubled, if not tripled. Millions of meth users are stuck on porn while they are high and tweaked out.
She asked for "Thoughts?" not help. It seems to me that someone can give thoughts that describe a range of interpretations, not just agreeable easygoing bullshit about how hiding in the bathroom doing drugs everyday when someone has a relationship and a child is ok, and something to work with.
I see the problem as her downplaying the addiction. They've been together two years, and he has been doing methonly 9 months. He works all day, eats, sleeps and does meth in the bathroom. Where does a child fit into that scene? What else is there time for? He is faithful, but in the bathroom jacking off or doing more meth. How is that faithful? He is jacking it to a bunch of other women, who are not her.
It really makes me wonder why the unpopular opinion, when a person asks for opinions and perspectives, is looked upon so critically. You all said I was insulting. You all talked a bunch of shit and then edited out your comments out of fear I would report them. She never said, "Thoughts that I will find easy and supportive and within my comfort zone?"
You want to know what I think being a "cunt-for-brains" might look like? Asking for a bunch of opinions then thanking people for the ones that seem easy and being totally critical of the ones that are harder to hear. I've seen it time and again here. Everyone else saying, "oh that's all normal and shit..." meanwhile I am saying "Be careful that can fuck up your whoooole life." And then, you know what the OP comes back and reports shortly after? That their life is now fucked.
So I will continue to share my thoughts, call me whatever.... Even on a drugs site I am a stand-alone, free-thinking person who could really give a fuck what anyone thinks of me.
Also, meth makes a person horny where they want to have sex, if possible. That's my honest opinion. If he is substituting a bunch of videos for real actual sex, there is something else really wrong.
I wasn't just thanking the positive posters. I appreciate your feedback though I think you come off a bad way. OBVIOUSLY meth is the real problem. But he doesn't lie to me about that. He lies to me about the porn. My issue is with Honesty. Well, one of my issues I guess.
And he is a great father, he loves his son very much. You are not in a position to judge or even make comments regarding his relationship with our child. So excuse you for that. Of course I want the easy way, who wouldn't? I'm not a fool though, I know the battle that lies ahead of us. I always have the option to leave. My house is paid for, my car is paid for. Both in my name. It would be easy for me to walk away and leave this problem behind me. But I care about his well being. I care about his happiness. I care about his health. And I care about our relationship. If me trying to be understanding makes me a "classic enabler" then so be it.
I hate that he spends hours in the bathroom with porn, yes. I hate that he's addicted to meth, yes. But is that all there is to him? No. He's an incredible person, inside and out, and call me naive, but I believe he will kick the meth one day. And if he doesn't, ill fight till I just can't hold on anymore. And Ill live my life and wish him well.
Love conquers all things. Drugs destroy them.
If you don't have hope, faith,
What do you have??
I watch hella porn when I'm getting high, however I get high with my wife and we always benefit sexually as a result of the use, as well as building up to the act buy. watching some depraved shit before getting into some. of our own nastiness. That's the difference the meth makes for us. Its nothing to do with love, instead its the kinda sex usually associated with the poliice being called by the neighbors because they heard someone being killed ....
The guy is fueling his sexual fantasies with the drug. The porn images are the visual stimulus with which the drug enables the brain to produce such intense sexual fantasies. If he has been doing this for a while chances are the fantasies will be at a pretty depraved level by now. His expectations will be so high sexually that a real person is not going to compete. Im afraid the only way to get him back s for him to stop taking the drug and for his expectations to come down to a normal level. If he wont kick the drug then you are going to have to kick him simple as.
There is a difference between drug abuse, like say once a week on the weekend, and addiction, which would end up being daily. I'm afraid that once an addict, always an addict. He will never be the same, and you and your kid will always be second fiddle.
Meth and porn binges are bread and butter, we have hundreds of reports/confessions of meth users going to ridiculous lengths at times. Given the reported marathon sessions, you sure you want that kind of attention?
Have you attempted to distract him during these sessions? Maybe you should take the lead. Go unplug the cabal box and drag him to bed and give him a good thrashing. Tie him down and keep him there till you have exhausted him. Sometimes you just got to suck someone back to reality.
A lot of meth fueled porn bingers seem to like confessing how dirty they feel afterwards. It's not just the taboo, but also bragging about it after, with hints that they want people to tell them how "bad they were and how deserving of spankings they are."
so go get some rope, paddles, a strap-on, and the sleaziest outfit you can find. Tie him down, open up his porn browser (having made sure that it is open to some sort of BDSM scene) be all "So this is what you like", strap on the ball gag when he lies, and crack that ass! Making him pay for all the time he ignored your sexiness and need for orgasms. When it's all done, strap a chastity belt on him, give him a bag of meth, and leave for the weekend. Be prepared to satisfy him when you get back he should be in a wild frenzy by that point.
If that doesn't get him going, I don't know what will.
I realize that this site is not against drug use, and believe it or not, neither am I. Many people can use and not fall into extreme addiction. Even at my worst, it was obvious that some could use and some could not. I used for years occasionally with no problems and enjoyed it. Meth took me over the line from enjoyment to need. I see that has occurred in this situation....
I'm kind of new to this site, so I hope I don't violate any of the social etiquette here. If I do, then I apologize in advance. I was, however, a hardcore cocaine and meth addict for well over ten years and can't help but reply. You may not want to hear this, but as others have already stated, your man is way beyond the recreational stage and addicted. Meth use affects many of us this way, and it won't get better. The meth needed to achieve his high will increase and his isolation will too. Unfortunately, the types of porn people start with will escalate as well, getting more and more extreme. Someone hinted that you should try to replace his porn with you sexually. More than likely, you won't be able to compete with the fantasies that occupy his high time. You'd probably be disgusted if you found out how extreme it probably is. The only women who could come close in my circles were hardcore addicts as well. You don't want to go there. My ex-wife and I did some really raunchy shit with lots of other people. I don't ever mention this stuff from my past, but I think you need to hear it. I still occasionally have difficulty sleeping remembering how I lived and hurt my family and friends. Willyzh seemed to offend a lot of folks here, and maybe he came off as harsh, but the seriousness of your situation may require a harsh reality check.
I realize that I don't know him or you, and he may be different from the hundreds of addicts I've met and partied with, but probably not. This drug consumes your mind and lowers inhibitions about what is acceptable and enjoyable. That is just how it is. The addict can't be reasoned with. His next high will always convince him that you are the problem, not the porn, and never the drug. The only thing that you have the power to change is you. I mean no disrespect, and I feel your pain, but as someone else pointed out, you are enabling his problem. As addicts, we learn quickly how to manipulate people into enabling our addictions, especially those we know love us. It is nothing against you whatsoever.
Now for something helpful: There is a way out, but you can't do it alone. Furthermore, few escape it. You have to be prepared to accept that. You need some professional help. You can't convince him since you don't understand the problem. That is not an insult. I wish I never understood it as well as I do. If you confront him alone, you will be lied to. Addicts are the best liars because we have a need which consumes us and will do whatever it takes to feed it. There are many good rehab counseling agencies. The majority of the good ones are former addicts as well and understand what he is going through and that makes them better prepared to respond to whatever bullshit response he will have, and I guarantee that is exactly what it will be. It may sound like I'm really down on him. Please understand that I am not. I believe most addicts tend to be amazingly kind and loving people when not high, but when we are using, we are capable of damn near anything to keep using. I was awoken by a preacher that used to use. He picked me out instantly. We can spot our own. I responded to him in such a hateful way against him and God that even in my own mind I hated myself more than anything. He probably does too. This guy didn't give up and it was a slow and painful exit from the drug life. It always is. My ex didn't make it. Many of my old "friends" didn't make it either. I've been to enough funerals to know that your situation is dire. Best of luck to you both. For what its worth to you, I'm praying for you both as well....