Quitting Tobacco: The Endless Cycle

[grandbaby]

I quit on average 13 times a year, and have been up to 13 times in a week.

The key is preparation. You can't over-prepare.

Day 5 and everything's smooth as butter so far. Although I had a couple of scary moments today where I thought, "well, this is easy; I should have a cigarette; one won't hurt." But one must stand fast; one becomes two becomes many many very quickly. The urges themselves are pretty tame this time 'round, thank the Insect Gods. Maybe this is the one that sticks.

[London_Bloke]

My experience has been the exact opposite of Grandbaby's. I was deathly afraid to fail, so I never really tried. And when I did finally quit after over 20 years of smoking, I never told anyone. If they noticed, I acknowledged it. My fear of being judged and found wanting was strong enough that I never really said much about quitting. There were people where I worked who said things like, "Yeah, you'll be back out here on the bench with the rest of us by the end of the week." Maybe they didn't mean to hurt, or maybe I brought out something they didn't want to look at and my failure alleviated that pressure on them. But being a smoker means looking at your own mortality in a very unpleasant way. And I'm sure that all of us know someone who puts the nice face on but secretly cheers you to failure behind your back. But hearing that kind of shit can also strengthen your resolve.

It wasn't until a friend of mine asked the question of me a few weeks ago that I finally put pen to paper (so to speak) and I wrote the long post you see above. Because I know how hard it is, I would never judge anyone or tell them "Consider yourself lucky it's not ________ withdrawal!"

[Nicaine]

Originally Posted by Bajeda

I have now just passed my third serious attempt to quit smoking cigarettes. I have been smoking for just over two years now, after starting to compensate for the psyhological cravings for smoke I got after temporarily quitting other substances in the past.

It took me nearly 25 years and a hint from a doctor that I had beginning stage emphysema to quit smoking. And I chewed tobacco for a few years after that, too (which was something I'd done in the past on and off), as well as play games with nicotine gum & lozenges.

I've been off all nicotine for nearly four months at this point. No guarantees, of course, but this is the longest I've been free of it in many years. What finally did it? Mostly the fact that I'm poor and was extremely sick of wasting a large amount of money on a deadly & otherwise useless substance. Also, worrying about tobacco related diseases... that played a part. Really, lots of different factors coming together is what did it.

[grandbaby]

Two weeks! By Jove, I think I've got it!

[Bajeda]

Originally Posted by grandbaby

Two weeks! By Jove, I think I've got it!

Careful with that thinking. The false sense of security you get when you get by the worst part of quitting often can be your downfall. A good attitude to foster is that you have passed the trial by fire but are still vulnerable and have to resist any remaining temptations that come up. Be especially wary when visiting old smoker friends and going to places where you would usually smoke alot. You have to be more conscious of what you are doing in these situations, especially if you end up drinking.

[grandbaby]

^^ Good advice. I have failed enough times to know that my single biggest recurring mistake is to say "well, I'm not addicted anymore; I can have just one!" I'm not making that mistake this time, dammit.

I've been out drinking—smashed, actually—a few times since quitting, without problems. The forthcoming civic bylaw banning smoking in all bars will help, too. The big trial yet to come will be psychedelics. The final smoke-free frontier...

Added benefit of quitting: Hangovers are MUCH less severe when not smoking.

[Forthesevenlakes]

Good job beatin that demon, weekender!


SWIM is now on Day 9 of quitting. He feels alot healthier when going for long walks, and doesnt get winded running up 4 flights of stairs to his office. He has been using nicotine gum when needed to fight off the cravings, and has also found regular chewing gum helps alot to keep the mouth occupied so he doesnt think about cigs. In fact, he's starting to find the smell or thought of cigarettes a bit gross...

How are all you other SWIMs doin in your quit attempts? Grandbaby, Baj?

[weekender2]

Way to go, SWI7. 9 days -- the hardest days are past. Best of luck.

Pax,
Weekender

[grandbaby]

Oh, man, Sevenlakes, keep it up. I'm somewhere in my 4th week (you know you're doing well when you can't keep track of the days) and going strong. I work in a place where 3/4 of the people smoke and the stench really gets to me. Can hardly believe that I ever smoked those things.

I still want to, but every time I smell 'em they're rotten as all hell.

I see the same guys cramming 'em in their mouths every 15 minues or so and think "Daym, glad I don't have to do that anymore."

It's going to continue to be a bit of a struggle—probably for the rest of my life—but it's a better struggle than the one I was going through when trying and failing; or better than the horribleness of smoking secretly and pretending I wasn't.

[Forthesevenlakes]

Thats how I'm feeling, Grandbaby. The urges come, but then, I ride it out, and the urges eventually go. I sure as hell have been going through alot of gum, and find myself clenching my teeth during moments of craving if I dont have any. However, its interesting, I'm starting to get the smell/taste aversion to them, also. Even to the point of wincing just thinking about the taste of a Camel Filter, or god forbid, a Newport.

You're right, it is a struggle, and will be a long one (yes, probably lifelong!) but the alternative is much worse...being in ill health, stinking like smoke, feeling guilty because of failed quit attempts, not to mention all the money that could have been spent on SWIMming supplies or other fun parts of life that are more rewarding than cigarettes. I think I might go reward myself this weekend by buying some clothes...at this point I must have saved myself at least fifty dollars or so.

Thanks for updating on your progress, 4 weeks, I can't wait to make it to that point. Its funny but having this thread really helps me get through the quitting. Its good to talk to people who are going through something similar, it reinforces the belief that yes, cigarettes can be kicked!

[Bajeda]

lol polysubstance abuse isn't conducive to quitting tobacco. neither is having a heavy workload apparently.

Swim's adderall use as a work aid has got him smoking again. Nat Shermans were too hard to resist.

He is reaching the point psychologically where he just can't smoke cigarettes anymore, and physically he is feeling quite sick from too much smoke inhalation.


Swim is going to do pure molly fairly soon, so he will resist smoking on that and use the introspection of the experience to fully convince himself to quit for good.

Till then, swim is monitoring daily use and slowly decreasing the amount so withdrawal wont be bad when the day comes.


The process is a bitch, but you have to remind yourself you got yourself into it, and its your responsibility to fix it.


Props to grandbaby and FTSL for their current success in the struggle, good luck keeping it up and don't give in!

[Forthesevenlakes]

Polysubstance use can make quitting extremely difficult! SWIM told me that he had to steer clear of alcohol, opiates, and adderall for a few days at first, just to make sure he didnt slip up. When he finally did use a substance, he made sure it was in an environment where he wouldnt be able to go buy cigarettes. Surprisingly, his cravings were not drastically increased on substances, but he could see where alcohol would probably pose the largest problem, so he's going to limit his intake until he's quit for a bit longer.

The MDMA experience could be a useful one for SwiBaj, maybe during it he could try to envision his future life as a non-smoker, or inventory all the reasons to quit?

[London_Bloke]

I know I'm a little old for the short skirt and the pom-poms, but I am cheering all of you on! Keep the faith!

BadnessNeeds
10+ years smoke-free!

Reputation Comments on this post:

thanks for pulling for all of us smokers! its good having you in our corner, and your support has really helped this SWI...

[weekender2]

Y'all ever get smoking dreams? I used to have them all the time. I'd be sitting there, thoroughly enjoying a cigarette, and it would hit me: crap, I'm supposed to have quit. Gotta start all over again! Then I'd wake up and feel like I got a second chance on making a mistake. Funny thing is the sensation of smoking was so real, that it was almost like my brain pressed the nicotine button for me, so I got to "sneak one in" without really cheating.

Pax,
Weekender

Reputation Comments on this post:

What an interesting post! You got a second chance to make good!

[Forthesevenlakes]

SWIM hasnt gotten any smoke dreams, but he has had drug dreams that felt completely real, so its entirely plausible to him that a smoking dream would feel like a real cigarette too! Haha sneaking one in without really cheating, thats a good way of putting those kinds of dreams. SWIM is closing in on two weeks and has noticed that he feels much better in the morning now that he's not going out to smoke after breakfast.

10 years, BadnessNeeds? Thats impressive! You're definitely a good cheerleader to have then, you serve as an example that quitting is indeed possible! SWIM is trying to picture himself as smoke-free in ten years, and its much better than envisioning himself as a smoker in that same time.

[London_Bloke]

Yep, it was 10 years ago on Memorial Day. Shocked everyone, including myself. Not a single day goes by that I don't get some kind of reminder and I think "I am SO glad I quit!". Just little shit, like seeing a teenager out in public with a cigarette and realizing that I'd been a smoker since I was 13.

So......

Rah Rah Sis Boom Bah! Go team GO! (ok, now I gotta sit down)

[grecian]

SWIM has quit as of today, he has smoked for over 5 years, 10-15 a day (always rolling tobacco), without filters. His girlfriend quit over a month ago but has relapsed a couple of times so SWIM thinks it is only fair for him to atleast try to quit aswell. It must be said there are also some very inspiring stories in this thread, which helped swim make up his mind, so thanks.

SWIM wishes the rest of you luck in your efforts.

[Forthesevenlakes]

keep us posted as to how your SWIY is doing, Grecian. This thread has been a great source of support for SWIM in his quitting and he doesnt know if he would have made it this far without the encouragement and inspiration from the people here. It sounds cheesy and trite, perhaps, but having other people going through a similar trial with you can really assist with your resolve, it takes the isolation out of the struggle which is nice. SWIM is guessing this is one of the reasons that group therapy programs like AA are so popular, even if AA doesnt pertain to smoking per se.

[grecian]

swim is struggling badly, the past week hasnt been too bad cuz he has been getting very stoned (on bongs) but he is outta weed now. right now he's thinking back to the reasons he quit and trying to weigh them against having just one smoke. if swim hadn't thrown every bit of tobacco and rizla away he doesnt think he could resist temptation right now.

[weekender2]

Stay strong, SWIGrecian! It's SO worth it when one is on the other side of it.

If SWIY slips and falls, tell him "don't beat yourself up too bad. Just make that ciggy your last one."

Best of luck!

Pax,
Weekender

[Forthesevenlakes]

Grecian, us SWIMs believe in you! THrowing away the tobacco was the right thing to do. SWIM tried to "quit" once with a full pack in his room. Needless to say, about three days into the attempt he was thinking, "well, might as well not let these go to waste." That SWIM is one utilitarian kind of guy.

But weekender is right, if SWIY is too hard on himself and makes negative value judgments about slipping up, it can become a self fulfilling prophecy where thinking "I'm useless and can't hold to a quit attempt because I just smoked" will lead SWIY to believe that he CAN'T hold to a quit attempt.

The truth is though that everyone can quit smoking, with the right motivation, help, support, and planning. Even with all these things though, tobacco is still a difficult drug to quit, and many people slip up multiple times on the way to truly being smoke-free. So if SWIY does give in and smoke, don't be too harsh on SWIYself. Take weekender's advice, its good stuff and actually works. That way SWIY won't generate a slipperly slope argument of believing "If I just smoked one cigarette, I might as well smoke the whole pack because I'm not able to quit right yet." Hang in there, SWIY has made it a week, which means alot of the hard part is over! Try exercising when SWIY gets an urge to smoke...going for a walk, run, or hike has really been helping SWIM lately when he gets a craving. Chewing gum can help alot too, as can meditation balls (those steel ball things you roll around in your palm) to occupy the hands.

[Nicaine]

BTW, SWIM believes the gum/patch really prolong the agony. They help at first, but in his opinion should be ditched after a couple weeks or so, whether or not a person has managed to cut down to a level they're satisfied with. Unfortunately there's no way to quit nicotine completely but cold turkey, i.e. just quit.

[London_Bloke]

To Grecian, Forthesevenlakes, Nicane, and Bajeda (and any one else who's on this very bumpy road to nicotine recovery):

The demons you hear, begging, pleading, screaming, and cajoling will not be silenced with one cigarette. The demons will say to you that they will shut up if you just smoke one. THEY LIE! If you smoke one to shut them up, they will come back for more, and they won't be asking - they will growl and shriek until you are certain you can't hear anything but them. And they will shriek and howl, first with pain and longing, but then it turns nasty and angry. But guess what? They don't have any more tricks up their sleeves - once they get nasty, they've shot their wad and they will eventually wander out of your psyche. They might not go quietly, they may mutter and grumble. But one thing is true - once they start to quiet down and stop shrieking and you can hear yourself think again YOU ARE NO LONGER THEIR BITCH. Think about it.

Ok, so Cheerleader Badness is hoping you all are facing down your demons and using whatever tricks you have to keep the demons from grabbing the steering wheel. They don't have a license to drive your life so don't let them shove your ass into the backseat.

And as Forthesevenlakes said, don't be too hard on yourself.

RAH RAH SIS BOOM BA! (ok, gotta sit down now)

My heart goes out to you all..........

[Forthesevenlakes]

Almost 4 weeks and going strong! And Badness is right...the demons may be convincing and speak sweetly of the taste of one cigarette, but they are lying scheming bastards (demons, after all, aren't supposed to play fair!) SWIM is noticing that his demons are not trying as hard now, the cravings die down more with every day, and SWIM is trying to condition himself to feel disgust when he sees a cigarette. For example, when seeing a person smoke on the street, instead of wishing he had one, SWIM starts thinking of pictures of cancerous lungs, or republicans, or other things equally as disgusting and unpleasant. This way he can hopefully condition very negative reactions to smoking cues (which are an important factor in relapse...exposure to a cigarette, or a brand logo, or the sight of a pack have been shown to activate attention circuits in smokers, but do not draw the attention to nonsmokers). So perhaps a negative association can help up the risks of a successful quit and lower the cravings even more.

[London_Bloke]

Originally Posted by Forthesevenlakes

Almost 4 weeks and going strong!

4 weeks? I am SO FUCKING PROUD OF YOU!!!!!!